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I agree it's practice for him but it's extreme. She's not even going to give him any advice into how to do laundry or cook. When I was growing up( I guess when we all were), we learned things gradually, first we learned how to cook easy stuff and then it got more and more complex and the laundry was taught to us. I can't think of anyone who's parent just threw a laundry basket at them and said " figure it out"
Um, EXCUSE ME!!! Why can't YOU show him????? It isn't imperative to have a uterus in order to teach a child a basic life skill. And so what if he starts cooking easy stuff???? WE ALL DID IT THAT WAY!!!!
For all that is at stake here, point him the way to Youtube. If ANYONE can teach him ANYTHING, it's Youtube. Moderator Cut.
Last edited by Jaded; 06-13-2013 at 11:46 PM..
Reason: Personal Attack
I guess I just don't get it because you came to us about this issue with your wife in regards to your son.
She infantilizes him, discourages him from getting a job, discourages him from higher education, doesn't want him to be responsible for anything. Your son is finally getting what you want for him, but now you can't support him because to do so would **** off your wife. You're pretending to be concerned about what your wife is going to do now because he hadn't learn these adult tasks (laundry, cooking)-- but you won't step in because it'll be "referee'ing".
When you know that by stepping in and being that parent your son needs to teach him the basics is "wrong" by your wife, then you're not acting in the best interests of your son. No one is saying fix the relationship between the two. But the fact that you're not getting it is just bizarre.
Ok please. Seriously? I was about NINE when my Mom said you are old enough to do the laundry yourself. The machine is that way.
Quote:
She's not even going to give him any advice into how to do laundry or cook. When I was growing up( I guess when we all were), we learned things gradually, first we learned how to cook easy stuff and then it got more and more complex and the laundry was taught to us. I can't think of anyone who's parent just threw a laundry basket at them and said " figure it out"
Mine did. Now you know. I am worried if you think THAT is an insurmountable learning experience.
When OP ticks the wife off, she gives him the silent treatment and withholds affection and meals (remember the Chinese takeout?). When son ticks the wife off, he gets written off, no meals, laundry, spending money or affection. When OP wants to get in wife's good graces, he apologizes (whether warranted or not), buys her presents, trips and dinners out. Does this mean if son wants to get back in mom's good graces he will forget about going to college, not work, stop therapy and side with mom at all times against dad? What a sick situation. I pity the poor kid.
Um, EXCUSE ME!!! Why can't YOU show him????? It isn't imperative to have a uterus in order to teach a child a basic life skill. And so what if he starts cooking easy stuff???? WE ALL DID IT THAT WAY!!!!
For all that is at stake here, point him the way to Youtube.[u][b] If ANYONE can teach him ANYTHING, it's Youtube. Moderator Cut.
Start living up to your parental responsibilities. Your son needs to learn how to do laundry- he should have learned years ago. Your wife could never be bothered to teach him. Now it's your turn- teach him what he needs to do.
Ditto with cooking. Most men can be decent to excellent cooks. When he lives on his own he's going to need to learn do at least minimal cooking. I'm assuming you know a little bit about the process- show your skills. It may be even be fun for the two of you. This too he should have learned years ago.
Your wife is playing games. She's waiting of him to run out of underwear and go crying to her begging her forgiveness. Same with the food. It's all stupid manipulation. Don't you know this?
You don't have to get in the middle of their argument. If she says anything about you helping the boy, tell her that you and he have decided he needs to learn life skills for when he moves out and it's time he learned. Don't make it about her choices, make it about preparing your son for the future. If he needs money, you give it to him and encourage him to find a job until school starts in the fall.
You're afraid she's going to cry and lock her self in the bedroom and get mad at you. If she does, you take the door off its hinges and put up a non-see through shower curtain liner on a spring rod, or put a non lockable accordian type door.It stays up until she promises to never lock herself in the bedroom again when she can't get her way.
There is nothing she can do to sabotage laundry or cooking. Keep an eye on the washing machine and stay next to the stove. Your fear is for you and what she will do to you.. Why you are so afraid of your wife I don't know. Makes no sense.
What? How exactly would she sabotage it? Why does she have so much power in this relationship??
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