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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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They're clearly losing their temper and flying off the handle. I sometimes see mothers yelling at the top of their voice and sometimes smacking their child in public. Just the other day, in the car park, I saw a lady go ape at her son for running around a bit because she was afraid he'd hit by a car. Thing was he wasn't anywhere near a car. I know she was trying to be protective, but it was also clear she totally lost her temper and was doing it out of rage. She told him not to be stupid, called him an idiot, smacked him quite hard on the back of the head and pushed him into the car. I'm not her kid but I found it quite scary lol. My mum got really mad at me a couple of times, but not publicly like that and she never hit me.
I know kids definitely try the patience of their parents a lot - and of course it's fathers as well as mothers, but I've mostly seen it happen with mothers (I won't go into the socio-economics of it because it's controversial, but there the 'working class' style of parenting just seems more hands on), but how important is it to be patient yet firm without blowing your top? I mean I feel bad for the kid, even though they might be really naughty, I think it promotes aggressive/violence and gets passed on to the next generation. I mean there's nothing wrong with raising your voice so a child can hear, but do you really need to be so angry, call your child names, and hit them to get the message across? Sometimes I think parents just lose control...I don't have children but if I do I can't imagine 'disciplining' them in such a manner.
Everyone loses control occasionally, but I would say that lower socioeconomic status probably does correlate with a less developed capacity for self-restraint and a less accurate ability to evaluate actual risk levels in various situations. Then again, yuppie soccer moms are prone to see all sorts of remote dangers in things as well, so it's hard to say for sure.
I'm an advocate of reasonable spanking but I don't believe the "running in the road" scenario is the best or only example of it.
Everyone loses control occasionally, but I would say that lower socioeconomic status probably does correlate with a less developed capacity for self-restraint and a less accurate ability to evaluate actual risk levels in various situations. Then again, yuppie soccer moms are prone to see all sorts of remote dangers in things as well, so it's hard to say for sure.
I'm an advocate of reasonable spanking but I don't believe the "running in the road" scenario is the best or only example of it.
This.
I've always refrained from really losing it with my kids, especially in public but I can understand it happening. Sometimes you reach a saturation point and stuff happens. My sweet angelic friend who is rainbows and unicorns with her kids, totally lost it a few weeks ago with her son who managed to go from eating a plate of greasy antipasti on the table to having the whole mess sitting on his chest, dripping down the chair and onto the floor. It even amazes me how this happened quite frankly. This boy is 10 and really a handful. She turned into a screeching, profanity spewing harridan within seconds and the violence of this transformation amazed me and my other friend at the table. This was after a long day with this kid who acts up..constantly.
If someone hits a child, call the police, otherwise leave the judging of other's parenting to actual parents, and not single 30 year old men who have nothing better to do but spend all day online.
My mom backhanded my brother in the parking lot of a store once when we were kids and his nose started bleeding. She was so freaked out and felt so bad lol.
Actually yes people lose it. But now times are different. She needs to learn more cooth on disciplining. She could get into trouble with verbal abuse. Physical abuse. People need to remember cell phones are a click away. The incident can be video taped plus get her license plate.
It is sad about times. The child probably did this many times. And she was tired of it. I also noticed why wasn't this child's hand held? Put the child in the car then buckle up.
To be honest I have seen many stupid parents let their children run all willy nilly. Or not dicipline correctly.
But Trimac we don't know all the factors that led to her spasm.
Everyone loses control occasionally, but I would say that lower socioeconomic status probably does correlate with a less developed capacity for self-restraint and a less accurate ability to evaluate actual risk levels in various situations.
Could also be they are under more stress and that positive DC bias puts them closer to the temper trigger level.
I'm not going to say I never lost my cool with my kids, that would be a ridiculous lie. But I've always known that it's better to discipline calmly, appropriately, and in such a way that the parent comes off in control--and I strive for this. A huge thing I wanted to teach my boys is a general sense of consideration and respect for others, especially random people in public places. It is disrespectful to those around you to act like a maniac in public. It is even worse when it's the parent who acts like a maniac. The sad part is that these are often the parents who try so hard to simply ignore bad behavior, because they don't feel that they can do ANYTHING about it (to curb it before it gets out of hand) without being seen as "abusive" that they ignore, ignore, ignore, until they finally can't take it and blow a gasket. I cringe just as much when I hear a toddler in a shopping cart having hysterics because Mom won't buy him a toy, and then he SMACKS his mother and screams "I HATE YOU!" and this woman, tears in her eyes, is trying not to react as she gets closer and closer to the boiling point (saw this in Walmart, around Christmas last year)....as I do seeing a parent lay hands on a child, even smacking or spanking them, to try and get them under control.
Physical punishment is not unilaterally wrong. But parents need to administer it CALMLY and to the appropriate degree. And to do that, you have to be in control of your emotions and preferably doing this before you've been pushed off a cliff.
My boys biggest weakness in public was that there are 2 of them and they are close in age. Eventually, they start acting like Spy Vs. Spy, smacking and chasing and being little ninjas in the grocery store. If verbal warnings don't suffice, I would calmly, quietly, with a smile on my face and my eyes fixed elsewhere, reach into the back of their hair and get a firm grip. I'd lean over and whisper, "I told you to stop. Now calm down. Or it is going to hurt." This was usually enough to win a few minutes of good behavior, even when they were at their worst. But the best tactic of all, if it is possible with circumstances, is to not take kids into situations that will provoke bad behavior when they are little. I honestly think that it's hard for kids of a certain age to behave in a place like Walmart, even good kids. Too much consumer temptation overload. Too many shiny packages.
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