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That doesn't make any sense unless you would truly pay more for child care than you would earn working. I'm just talking about simple math.
I agree...it doesn't...and I know you're talking simple math...but it happens, sometimes just a "little" more money is earned after costs.....for what???
her point is exactly what she said. It couldn't really be much more obvious.
Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman
I agree...it doesn't...and I know you're talking simple math...but it happens, sometimes just a "little" more money is earned after costs.....for what???
I know that. I get it. i stayed home for 5 years. the simple math is that we can afford more now than before. I don't know why you are bothering me about this. I made a pretty simple statement about me and my family. I work, I make money, I Spend money. It is a really simple concept. I never told you or anyone else what they should be doing.
ETA You can afford things "because" you stay home. That implies that you make money by not working outside the home. I understand the concept of not making enough for it to be worth it, but your statement I questioned earlier isn't correct/doesn't match the post quoted here.
Last edited by Kibbiekat; 07-14-2013 at 06:45 PM..
Reason: typos
Truly a sucky situation to be in. I was fortunate enough to have a host of Aunts and Uncles willing to take my siblings and I in for the summer, who also apparently worked from home or had flexible hours so that we always had supervision or someone to bring us to/from day camp.
OP, I think your kid is too young to enjoy most of those camps mentioned anyway... so just let them have fun at daycare for now and revisit the issue when they're six or seven.
her point is exactly what she said. It couldn't really be much more obvious.
I know that. I get it. i stayed home for 5 years. the simple math is that we can afford more now than before. I don't know why you are bothering me about this. I made a pretty simple statement about me and my family. I work, I make money, I Spend money. It is a really simple concept. I never told you or anyone else what they should be doing.
ETA You can afford things "because" you stay home. That implies that you make money by not working outside the home. I understand the concept of not making enough for it to be worth it, but your statement I questioned earlier isn't correct/doesn't match the post quoted here.
Maybe not to YOU..but then I knew that. It's not me that's "bothering you about that"..weird thing to say though, unless you're feeling guilty for some reason?..do you take every ones post so personally?
You know what the weird/sad thing is? My mom was a stay at home mom and yes I have fond memories of her being home when we got home but the truly vivid memories are of my dad taking us all sorts of cool places and doing great things on the weekends when my mom was too wiped out from taking care of 5 kids to do anything! Feel kind of bad for my mom now that I'm a mom, but that's what I remember, and I'm not some materialistic person, mind you. I think the ideal situation is that both parents work 3/4 time so that they are in the workforce for funds as well as personal development but also have time to be at home with the kids. And to the person who said men need to man up and support their families- what if mom wants to work and likes her job? What if dad has a job that serves the community but doesn't pay as well as other jobs? There is room for everything. Personally I do not want anyone telling me I should stay at home just because we chose to have kids. Love your kids and spend quality time with them - it will all work out, or won't- but not because mom worked or did not work. I see screwed up kids from moms who work and those who don't and I see wonderful kids from moms who work and moms who don't. Plus, stay at home dads are great too! Several of my friends are stay at home dad families and everyone's happy. Different strokes...
My wife quit working and we shortly realized it was not a big financial difference. Her income was not that much more than child care, dry clenaing, lunches, cleaning people, gasoline, etc. However one thing we forgot in planning our budget was that insurance for her and the kids came from her job. We had to get "catostrophic" insurance until my income was sufficient to cover insurance. It was amazing how much we found we could save by having a spouse at home. More time for coupons, searching out sales, doing things yourself instead of paying. She woudl work part time here and there, but it never really netted out financially, or at least not by much.
Then after 18 years at home, my wife went back to work. It was more for her mental/emotional well being than it was for the money. Even without childcare, by the time we include all the costs for stuff she used to do, it is a push. She works part time so she can be home for our son who is still in jr. High (the older ones it does not really matter, they never come home anyway). It really helps here though to have some time out with adults, to work in the "real world" and to feel she is contributing financially to the family.
I can understand working away from home when your kids are at school all day...I just feel that until then, a child is better off with the guidance, daily, of a parent...I'm not judging you for your choice, everyone has different ideas of what's best or not.....Oh, and everything you mentioned you can afford "because I work", is also affordable by many households BECAUSE there is a parent who stays home (yeh, that's work too) with the child.
Talk about strawmen.
How is a parent who works the same hours a child is in school and at afterschool activities in anyway deprived of "daily guidance"? Oh wait, they are not.
The average school age child is in school and at activities for 8 1/2 hours a day. One parent goes in earlier, one comes home earlier, then there is literally no difference in the amount of time spent with the child AND the child gets the benefit of another 40K in income.
Even if you ignore the FACT that research has found tons of benefits for children of middle class children of working parents, you really should be able to do the math that there is no difference in the hours of time spent with the child for many working parent families.
The world has enough over committed kids whose parents are overcompensating for their own lack of interest by involving their little darlings in every single activity they can. This obsession with making more money and even women who prefer NOT to be home with their children is baffling.
Why have kids if you're going to hire someone else to raise them? Why don't these families learn how to live comfortably on Dad's income? And really significant: why don't these fathers get jobs that can support their family the way they want to? No excuse for those guys. Get the education, or the motivation to earn the kind of money you want. How do you women feel being married / shacking up with a guy who can't adequately support his family?
The old line that you "need" two incomes is B/S. You do not. You "need" the double income to fulfill wants, but not needs. So, you choose to hire out the raising of your most precious asset; your own kids. Far more pathetic are the women who could afford to actually raise their own kids, but choose not to in order to fulfill their personal needs. They don't feel enough ego feed staying at home, and rely on external things to give them the illusion of success, importance, worth, etc.
1. Don't bother having kids unless you're going to be 100% committed to them. (kids don't understand "quality time", when they need you, they need you then...)
2. Men; be real men. Be the head of your household. Do what it takes to make the amount of money it takes to afford your family's wants & needs. Of course it takes hard work, real motivation, education, training, etc. Be a man, deal with it and properly SUPPORT your family.
Ugh. In the real world children go to school for 8+hours a day for the majority of their childhood. There is no reason any parent should not work during those times.
Maybe not to YOU..but then I knew that. It's not me that's "bothering you about that"..weird thing to say though, unless you're feeling guilty for some reason?..do you take every ones post so personally?
Maybe because you responded to me personally about my personal choice multiple times. I don't know why I wasted my time trying to help you understand a simple concept that you were having trouble with. I mean ARE having trouble with.
I don't know why you waste your time either...why is that?
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