Parents letting kids make a mess and leaving it at the restuarant (child, safety)
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You "deal with them" by understanding that they are little kids. As you once were. They are not short adults, they are little kids who are learning things. Just as you did.
Things will happen in restaurants as they do at home. Crumbs ARE going to fall on the floor. Drinks ARE going to be spilled. I'd rather have a kid eating crackers in the booth next to me than four adults drinking their lunch and being loud and rude to the waitress. (Which I see much more often than crackers on the floor.)
Alot of it is about perspective I think. We were at a restaurant a month ago with the kids. It wasn't a fancy restaurant, but it also wasn't a kid oriented restaurant. Somewhere in the middle I guess. A family near us had two kids and towards the end of their meal one started yelling. Her mom would cover her mouth to stop her and when she took her hand away she'd do it again because she thought it was funny. The mom was trying to stop her but at the same time didn't seem too worried about it. The dad was laughing. I don't know how many times she did it, maybe 5-10 as they settled up with the bill. The thing is we didn't care either. My son seemed entertained by it. We have kids and know how they are. If she'd been having a meltdown I would've liked to see the mom take her out but I didn't care that she made noise near us just having fun, especially since it was for a short period of time. I'm not sure how I would've felt before kids but parenthood certainly changes you and gives you a much higher tolerance for that stuff.
At the end of the day kids will be kids, and most parents do their best to control them but it doesn't always work out that they behave to everyone's standards around you. And I certainly don't want to spend my kids' childhood constantly dropping the hammer and scolding them when I could just enjoy them for what they are.
Oh and I guarantee you if I call the restaurant beforehand and tell them I want to come eat but I have a messy 3 year old, and I don't want to bother self-righteous diners nearby, they'll tell me to get my ass down there and don't forget the credit card.
Parents should let their kids do what ever they want. They're just exploring! Manners are ridiculous. How are we expected to know all these hidden social rules? We aren't! Parents, NEVER TELL A KID WHAT TO DO, UNLESS IT COULD RISK THEIR SAFETY! For instance, you should tell a kid "COME BACK HERE" in a loud voice when they cross a street without looking both ways.
But back on topic, it is the waiter's JOB to clean up after people. People COME to restaurants so they aren't cooking or cleaning. Don't, and I repeat DON'T make a big deal out of it. Don't even say "Sorry" to the waiter. Just let a kid do what they want, because making a mess on the floor does not risk their safety. Also, tipping is ridiculous, because it is WASTED MONEY.
Alot of it is about perspective I think. We were at a restaurant a month ago with the kids. It wasn't a fancy restaurant, but it also wasn't a kid oriented restaurant. Somewhere in the middle I guess. A family near us had two kids and towards the end of their meal one started yelling. Her mom would cover her mouth to stop her and when she took her hand away she'd do it again because she thought it was funny. The mom was trying to stop her but at the same time didn't seem too worried about it. The dad was laughing. I don't know how many times she did it, maybe 5-10 as they settled up with the bill. The thing is we didn't care either. My son seemed entertained by it. We have kids and know how they are. If she'd been having a meltdown I would've liked to see the mom take her out but I didn't care that she made noise near us just having fun, especially since it was for a short period of time. I'm not sure how I would've felt before kids but parenthood certainly changes you and gives you a much higher tolerance for that stuff.
At the end of the day kids will be kids, and most parents do their best to control them but it doesn't always work out that they behave to everyone's standards around you. And I certainly don't want to spend my kids' childhood constantly dropping the hammer and scolding them when I could just enjoy them for what they are.
Oh and I guarantee you if I call the restaurant beforehand and tell them I want to come eat but I have a messy 3 year old, and I don't want to bother self-righteous diners nearby, they'll tell me to get my ass down there and don't forget the credit card.
This is the problem with people who don't have kids passing judgments. They like to explore their world and are curious in everything that is new. It is not possible to put a toddler in an environment with new things and expect that they would not show interest in exploring their new environment. It's part of growing up.
And the next part will shock you - you once were a toddler, too. And if your mom ever took you to a restaurant as a toddler, you explored your surroundings as well, and perhaps even treated it a bit like a food playground. And not everyone around you thought you behaved appropriately all of the time.
Yes, I was a toddler at one point, but I maybe threw food once or twice. If I ever did that my parents would bring me to the bathroom for a swift smack on the rear. Lesson learned.
My mom was never a big fan of introducing new things while we were out or on a trip. She knew that babies and toddlers are extremely finicky and you can never gauge their reaction to something new. It would just make more sense to not give them messy food or food they have never tried before.
Furthermore, toddlers love to explore and learn but this shouldn't be done at the expense of others, which includes making messes. I don't find it cute to be mopping and sweeping up a table that looks like a food fight just occurred.
Parents should let their kids do what ever they want. They're just exploring! Manners are ridiculous. How are we expected to know all these hidden social rules? We aren't! Parents, NEVER TELL A KID WHAT TO DO, UNLESS IT COULD RISK THEIR SAFETY! For instance, you should tell a kid "COME BACK HERE" in a loud voice when they cross a street without looking both ways.
But back on topic, it is the waiter's JOB to clean up after people. People COME to restaurants so they aren't cooking or cleaning. Don't, and I repeat DON'T make a big deal out of it. Don't even say "Sorry" to the waiter. Just let a kid do what they want, because making a mess on the floor does not risk their safety. Also, tipping is ridiculous, because it is WASTED MONEY.
Oh for goodness' sake.
Several people, including myself, have stated that they tip the waiter, or bus staff, that they apologize, that they express their appreciation.
Toddlers who are just learning to eat do not have the motor skills nor ability to display perfect table manners.
In the PROCESS OF TEACHING THEM, a little food is going to end up on the floor and a little juice is going to be spilled.
If you spill your drink at a restaurant, which people of all AGES are wont to do, do you get on your hands and knees and mop up the floor, or do you let the restaurant, who are equipped to handle food mishaps - because you know, THEY'RE A RESTAURANT, use the proper tools to clean up spills and whatnot.
Teaching manners is an ongoing process, it's not achieved overnight once the child turns a year old. And during that process, ya do the best you can.
Yes, I was a toddler at one point, but I maybe threw food once or twice. If I ever did that my parents would bring me to the bathroom for a swift smack on the rear. Lesson learned.
My mom was never a big fan of introducing new things while we were out or on a trip. She knew that babies and toddlers are extremely finicky and you can never gauge their reaction to something new. It would just make more sense to not give them messy food or food they have never tried before.
Uh, you don't remember what you did at 18 months or 24 months or even 30 months of age. You only know what your mother said you did - which may or may not have been reflective of the truth. I'm quite sure you dropped food far more than once or twice.
Note there is a big difference between throwing food and crumbling crackers and letting them fall to the ground. The first is far more unacceptable, and the second is typical toddler behavior.
Yes, I was a toddler at one point, but I maybe threw food once or twice. If I ever did that my parents would bring me to the bathroom for a swift smack on the rear. Lesson learned.
My mom was never a big fan of introducing new things while we were out or on a trip. She knew that babies and toddlers are extremely finicky and you can never gauge their reaction to something new. It would just make more sense to not give them messy food or food they have never tried before.
Furthermore, toddlers love to explore and learn but this shouldn't be done at the expense of others, which includes making messes. I don't find it cute to be mopping and sweeping up a table that looks like a food fight just occurred.
I would never do this to my toddler.
How in the world is a toddler going to make the a connection that removing him from the table, bringing him to another location, and giving him a "swift smack on the rear" is a direct result of him making a mess!?!?
Terrible advice.
And for the record, kids that age aren't making a mess to because they are deviant little demon spawns.
They're eating the only way they know how.
Toddlers lack the fine motor schools to eat the same way adults do.
Corporal punishment isn't going to change that.
This is the problem with people who don't have kids passing judgments. They like to explore their world and are curious in everything that is new. It is not possible to put a toddler in an environment with new things and expect that they would not show interest in exploring their new environment. It's part of growing up.
And the next part will shock you - you once were a toddler, too. And if your mom ever took you to a restaurant as a toddler, you explored your surroundings as well, and perhaps even treated it a bit like a food playground. And not everyone around you thought you behaved appropriately all of the time.
This is the problem with the arrogance of some parents; you think the world revolves around you and your "exploring" toddler. It doesn't. Your "exploring" toddler is your responsibility, and so is cleaning up after it and teaching it how to behave. Would you think it was OK if I let my dog poop on your lawn and didn't clean it up if I told you he was just exploring his world?
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn
Well, this explains a lot.
You "deal with them" by understanding that they are little kids. As you once were. They are not short adults, they are little kids who are learning things. Just as you did.
Things will happen in restaurants as they do at home. Crumbs ARE going to fall on the floor. Drinks ARE going to be spilled. I'd rather have a kid eating crackers in the booth next to me than four adults drinking their lunch and being loud and rude to the waitress. (Which I see much more often than crackers on the floor.)
I understand that they're little kids. I don't think you know what I mean by "deal" with them. I meant more in the sense of a caretaker, not in the sense of "ZOMG THERE'S A KID AT THE NEXT TABLE WHAT DO I DO?????"
If I'm in a restaurant with a screaming kid, I usually get out of there as fast as I can. And yes, there are dining experiences far worse than being seated next to a child. Most dining out is unpleasant, which is why I rarely do it.
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We aren't! Parents, NEVER TELL A KID WHAT TO DO, UNLESS IT COULD RISK THEIR SAFETY! For instance, you should tell a kid "COME BACK HERE" in a loud voice when they cross a street without looking both ways. 
I understand that they're little kids. I don't think you know what I mean by "deal" with them. I meant more in the sense of a caretaker, not in the sense of "ZOMG THERE'S A KID AT THE NEXT TABLE WHAT DO I DO?????"