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My husband is the head of the household, and in many ways yes, he IS the ultimate authority. The difference is, He doesn't "rule" the house. Although, he is the head of the house, there is a LIST of situations in which he would never consider himself the one to have "the final say/authority".
Anyone who runs their household like a dictatorship, is eventually going to end up incredibly miserable and lonely. However, to fail your children by not teaching them to respect their superiors, well....that's like playing Russian roulette with their futures. The beauty of that failure though, could mean that those oh so superior children, will quite likely still be living in their bedrooms at home, until they're 60.
When you are at work, your boss is your superior. Continually assert your attitude in his face, (making sure that he knows that you're not inferior to him) and you're probably going to be looking for a new job......soon.
My husband is the head of the household, and in many ways yes, he IS the ultimate authority. The difference is, He doesn't "rule" the house. Although, he is the head of the house, there is a LIST of situations in which he would never consider himself the one to have "the final say/authority".
Anyone who runs their household like a dictatorship, is eventually going to end up incredibly miserable and lonely. However, to fail your children by not teaching them to respect their superiors, well....that's like playing Russian roulette with their futures. The beauty of that failure though, could mean that those oh so superior children, will quite likely still be living in their bedrooms at home, until they're 60.
When you are at work, your boss is your superior. Continually assert your attitude in his face, (making sure that he knows that you're not inferior to him) and you're probably going to be looking for a new job......soon.
Who is their superior and why? This is just weird. My boss knows that I am not inferior to him.
Last edited by somebodynew; 07-29-2013 at 02:32 PM..
I'm young I'm nearly 22 but I was raised to say yes ma'am/no ma'am yes sir/no sir. I mean I don't say it all the time sometimes when my mom addresses me I say "Yes mother" but always in a respectful tone. "What" and "huh" were never allowed unless you wanted to get slapped across the room (just kidding but you get the point). "Yes" was generally acceptable if you said it in the right tone. My parents weren't too strict about ma'am and sir but they did expect to be addressed respectfully. However, since my parents are getting older though I do try to make it a routine habit to address them as only ma'am and sir because that's just proper respect. Anyways I do want to raise my kids to say ma'am and sir. What do you guys think? I know in 2013 that's generally not the norm for today's kids but do you make your kids say ma'am/sir? Only to elderly? Just curious.......
My Son says "yes sir" randomly, a hold out from watch Thomas the Train
My Nephews (3 and 2) just call me Chris
I have not set, nor plan to set, yes sir/mam or any formal address/acknowledgement on my kids
Hell, he likes Daddy. . i'm good with that for now.
Some yes, some no. But I don't see what any of that has to do with ranking myself as somehow higher than they.
If they are your equal rank, they get equal say. Period. If you get veto power over anything, then you are a higher "rank" than your children. Just the way it is. You may use a different word, but if you have veto power, then you rank higher in your family. IMHO, parents that parent get veto power.
If they are your equal rank, they get equal say. Period. If you get veto power over anything, then you are a higher "rank" than your children. Just the way it is. You may use a different word, but if you have veto power, then you rank higher in your family. IMHO, parents that parent get veto power.
That's all I'm sayin............ I mean, I thought it was apparent! Get it? A(p)-parent?
I can see the problem with superior/inferior and rank. To be it is a matter of authority. DH and I share authority over our children. And they like that. Without somebody "in charge' families run amok.
I once had a friend who was lamenting she had just gotten new sofa and new carpet in her family room and wanted to tell the kids they could not eat in there...but she and her husband wanted to eat in there from time to time. I said "What's the problem? You tell the kids they can't eat in the family room until they are older and more responsible and you and hubby eat in there when you want to." She said "You mean eat in front of them when they can't?" she looked like I threw a pot of boiling water on her. Imagine!!! One set of behavior for kids and a different set for adults???!! Oh the horrors.
That is what I mean about parents having more leeway or being superior. Still the inferior/superior words don't seem right to me.
In our family we share being head of household. My husband does not tell me what to do however I don't tell him what to do either. We try to discuss things. Sometimes I make more sense and sometimes he does.
I can see the problem with superior/inferior and rank. To be it is a matter of authority. DH and I share authority over our children. And they like that. Without somebody "in charge' families run amok.
I once had a friend who was lamenting she had just gotten new sofa and new carpet in her family room and wanted to tell the kids they could not eat in there...but she and her husband wanted to eat in there from time to time. I said "What's the problem? You tell the kids they can't eat in the family room until they are older and more responsible and you and hubby eat in there when you want to." She said "You mean eat in front of them when they can't?" she looked like I threw a pot of boiling water on her. Imagine!!! One set of behavior for kids and a different set for adults???!! Oh the horrors.
That is what I mean about parents having more leeway or being superior. Still the inferior/superior words don't seem right to me.
In our family we share being head of household. My husband does not tell me what to do however I don't tell him what to do either. We try to discuss things. Sometimes I make more sense and sometimes he does.
This is exactly the way it works at our home as well. Sure, he's considered the "head of the household"...I mean, what does the U.S. Census ask? "Head of Household". That does not mean that I do not have equal authority. If you forced him to answer the question, "So? Who wears the pants in YOUR family?", without a doubt, he'd say, "She does!"
If they are your equal rank, they get equal say. Period. If you get veto power over anything, then you are a higher "rank" than your children. Just the way it is. You may use a different word, but if you have veto power, then you rank higher in your family. IMHO, parents that parent get veto power.
It isn't the military, it isn't about vetoing, or giving orders or "rank" or any of that. It is a family and it is about raising happy, healthy, self confident adults who understand valuing themselves as well as others.
Parents in my family certainly don't out RANK children. Parents and other adults get to make the utimate decisions because they have more knowledge, maturity, and wisdom, not because they are "superior".
This is exactly the way it works at our home as well. Sure, he's considered the "head of the household"...I mean, what does the U.S. Census ask? "Head of Household".
We had a hilarious discussion about that.
When we sat down to fill it out DH wanted to write: "None. You guys drafted me and taught me to call it the latrine."
We usually flip it back and forth just to mess with whoever is trying to figure out family genealogy 200 years from now.
When we sat down to fill it out DH wanted to write: "None. You guys drafted me and taught me to call it the latrine."
We usually flip it back and forth just to mess with whoever is trying to figure out family genealogy 200 years from now.
Hahahahaaaa As I was thinking about what I was going to write next, all KINDS of little morsels ran across my mind, concerning that "head". Frankly, I had to make an executive choice to NOT share any of them. Self talk, that is...."Behaaaaaaaave".
Shame on me, only a few more hours of my "day off" and **sigh**, once again, I have too many items on my "to do" list. I get so sick of leftovers.
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I mean, I thought it was apparent! Get it? A(p)-parent? 
Self talk, that is...."Behaaaaaaaave". 
