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If they are your equal rank, they get equal say. Period. If you get veto power over anything, then you are a higher "rank" than your children. Just the way it is. You may use a different word, but if you have veto power, then you rank higher in your family. IMHO, parents that parent get veto power.
You base your family's decisions on rank? I don't have "veto power". My authority comes from experience and the respect I have gained from my children by being sensible and working toward their best interest.
It isn't the military, it isn't about vetoing, or giving orders or "rank" or any of that. It is a family and it is about raising happy, healthy, self confident adults who understand valuing themselves as well as others.
Parents in my family certainly don't out RANK children. Parents and other adults get to make the utimate decisions because they have more knowledge, maturity, and wisdom, not because they are "superior".
So, you don't call it "rank," you call it "knowledge, maturity, and wisdom." But, that means that you are NOT equal to your children. There is an unequal balance of power because of that knowledge, maturity, and wisdom. Sorry, but your knowledge, maturity, and wisdom ARE superior to that of your children. You may have mutual respect, but as the one that makes the ultimate decisions, you are superior to them.
I just asked DH if he considered himself head of household. He said no, do you? Do I consider him head of household. No do I consider ME head of household. I said we are a two headed beast. Cracked us up.
You base your family's decisions on rank? I don't have "veto power". My authority comes from experience and the respect I have gained from my children by being sensible and working toward their best interest.
My husband and I are equal partners, but we outrank our children. We listen to our children and consider their input, but my husband and I make final decisions based on what is good for our family. My children understand that. We talked about vacation destinations, The kids said DisneyWorld. Based on budget, hubby and I had to say no, or veto, that idea. Our children understand, and know that it is best, so they do not keep pestering, but yes, the parents have the ultimate power in our family. That is called parenting. To give your children equal family status as the parent is just wrong IMHO.
So, you don't call it "rank," you call it "knowledge, maturity, and wisdom." But, that means that you are NOT equal to your children. There is an unequal balance of power because of that knowledge, maturity, and wisdom. Sorry, but your knowledge, maturity, and wisdom ARE superior to that of your children. You may have mutual respect, but as the one that makes the ultimate decisions, you are superior to them.
No I am not. You keep harping about rank. The most commonly used meaning of the word "superior" means higher quality. Parents are not of higher quality. There is not rank, there is no notion that children are inferior. What they are is not finished.
Does a tree outrank a seed? No they are equal, just at different points in time.
No I am not. You keep harping about rank. The most commonly used meaning of the word "superior" means higher quality. Parents are not of higher quality. There is not rank, there is no notion that children are inferior. What they are is not finished.
Does a tree outrank a seed? No they are equal, just at different points in time.
A tree is not a seed. A tree is mature. A seed is mostly squirrel food. They are NOT equal.
So, you don't call it "rank," you call it "knowledge, maturity, and wisdom." But, that means that you are NOT equal to your children. There is an unequal balance of power because of that knowledge, maturity, and wisdom. Sorry, but your knowledge, maturity, and wisdom ARE superior to that of your children. You may have mutual respect, but as the one that makes the ultimate decisions, you are superior to them.
I disagree, as their parent I have authority over them whilst they are children, it most certainly doesn't make me superior to them. Thinking i'm superior would entail my thinking that they're inferior.
In my mind that is most certainly the wrong way to think of your children.
.....BUT....a tree is superior to that seed, in all aspects, unless of course, that seed is transported to a higher elevation. Also, let's remember that a seed only has the "potential" to be a tree, IF it has the right foundation, food and water, a suitable environment, etc.
My Son says "yes sir" randomly, a hold out from watch Thomas the Train
My Nephews (3 and 2) just call me Chris
I have not set, nor plan to set, yes sir/mam or any formal address/acknowledgement on my kids
Hell, he likes Daddy. . i'm good with that for now.
My DB's 4 year old niece is the sweetest little girl. She doesn't say sir or ma'am but she always says please and thank you and is always so nice.
She calls her mom mommy, her moms new fiancé by his first name and me and DB by our first names, although my future MIL refers to us as uncle DB and auntie texty, which makes me happy only cause it makes me feel like part of the family but I want her to call me whatever makes her happy, which so far is my first name.
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