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Sir and Ma'am aren't rude, they are condescending, and they don't denote a power trip in most cases. They are merely forms of address that I can't bring myself to have a problem with. As I said, we never used them, but my kids adopted them once we moved south, all on their own. Now, maybe it's a coincidence, but they have never not gotten a job they applied for, and they have likewise benefited by pay raises and increased responsibilities. Their teachers often contact them on FB now that they are in college. It's had a positive affect on their lives.[/QUOT
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Mattie isn't this a typo? Don't you mean to say "they aren't condescending?"
I don't regurgitate. my kids don't regurgitate and these manners of speaking aren't affectations. This is how I was raised. I never questioned it till this thread. I never heard of anybody being offended either.
I just realized not only did my parents teach me this but I got it in school cause most of my teachers in base schools were wives of military and I got it with my friends cause when you live on base your whole life revolves around the military. We heard our parents speak that way.
Something I had to work hard to break: When we answered the phone we had to" Say Colonel Smith's residence. This is no kudzu speaking". At work I always answered by identifying the business and my name. Most business phone answerers never identify themselves but I always ask because I have learned for any business call to always get the name of the person you are speaking with. That way if there is a problem later on, you can always say "Sam told me it would be taken care of". I guess this is also something I learned from my military home. There were plenty of things I did not like about being raised in the 40's and 50's military (Daddy retired in the 60's) but I think what I did learn has served me well.
I don't regurgitate. my kids don't regurgitate and these manners of speaking aren't affectations. This is how I was raised. I never questioned it till this thread. I never heard of anybody being offended either.
I just realized not only did my parents teach me this but I got it in school cause most of my teachers in base schools were wives of military and I got it with my friends cause when you live on base your whole life revolves around the military. We heard our parents speak that way.
Something I had to work hard to break: When we answered the phone we had to" Say Colonel Smith's residence. This is no kudzu speaking". At work I always answered by identifying the business and my name. Most business phone answerers never identify themselves but I always ask because I have learned for any business call to always get the name of the person you are speaking with. That way if there is a problem later on, you can always say "Sam told me it would be taken care of". I guess this is also something I learned from my military home. There were plenty of things I did not like about being raised in the 40's and 50's military (Daddy retired in the 60's) but I think what I did learn has served me well.
Yes it is regurgitating, it just happens to be polite regurgitating. My kids always tease me because I apologize to the dog, well it's habit, autopilot. There's nothing wrong with it.
Where I grew up Sir/Ma'am/Madam were used. As was Aunty/Uncle First Name. As was "Old Man/Woman" in the vernacular. Can you imagine calling people Madam or Old Lady, they would freak out even though the speaker meant the utmost respect.
It's all relative, there's no right or wrong or better or worse. My rule is I am an intelligent person, I know when someone is being rude, and when they are trying to be polite (regardless of the verbage).
Yes it is regurgitating, it just happens to be polite regurgitating. My kids always tease me because I apologize to the dog, well it's habit, autopilot. There's nothing wrong with it.
Where I grew up Sir/Ma'am/Madam were used. As was Aunty/Uncle First Name. As was "Old Man/Woman" in the vernacular. Can you imagine calling people Madam or Old Lady, they would freak out even though the speaker meant the utmost respect.
It's all relative, there's no right or wrong or better or worse. My rule is I am an intelligent person, I know when someone is being rude, and when they are trying to be polite (regardless of the verbage).
Yes exactly.
If someone is clearly being well-intentioned, I can't see getting offended either way - I don't find the use of ma'am or sir offensive at all; neither do I look down on children (or think ill of their parents) who ask me "what?" or simply a yes or no (sans the ma'am) in response to being asked a question. It's much more about attitude than verbiage.
Wow...and there we have it! It's more about respectfulness and tone, isn't it?
@Mattie...LOL Yep, I knew what you meant. Gosh, doesn't this incident go right along with the topic!? Even in writing, I knew you weren't being a b**ch!
I bet saying SIR to a cop when you are stopped is done across the land. Don't slur the sir!
Sir and Ma'm are used in the military. A female senator who was hammering at an Army general told him to stop saying ma'm to her; that she was a US Senator. She was also ignorant of the military culture.
She wasn't ignorant. She didn't want to be called "ma'am", which is her right. I don't like being called
Ma'am at all.
So you have a problem with your grandchildren being taught manners and respect for their elders? that is what your "southern daughter in law" is doing, by the way.
Waaaay back, in the stone age, when I was going up - the 70s - I was taught to call adults other than my parents by their formal names, Mr. ___ or Mrs. ___, or "sir" or "ma'am" and I'm from Philadelphia. Nothing "southern" about it. Merely good manners.
I was merely pointing out that there is a regional difference. My own children were taught to address adults in a formal manner also, we just didn't do the sir and ma'am thing, yet they were no less polite.
Well I must be a rare one here because I like being called by my first name even by smaller children. I just don't like being called Mrs ..... I am middle aged and even from the day I got married, I disliked being called Mrs.... because it makes me feel old. As long as I am being respected then I'm happy.
IMO, calling someone sir is for the millitary or for a teacher. When I need to speak with a woman in public who I don't know, I use "miss", unless she's older, then I'll call her ma'am.
Saying please and thank you are MOST important to me.
True I live in Phoenix but my parents (and everyone else in Phoenix for that matter) are from the Midwest and South. I don't think it's so much a geographic thing as it is generational because most adults 40+ 50+ for the most part were raised to address adults in that matter...correct? If I'm wrong let me know....
No, we weren't. We're in the northeast, though. It's more of a southern tradition.
I don't get upset if someone calls me "ma'am", though. The first time it happened I did. I was only around 27 and this snot-nosed fetus working at the deli called me Ma'am. I was annoyed by it, but my brother, who was with me, pointed out that since she was only about 16, I probably did look "old" to her. Still.
Now it doesn't matter. I prefer "Your Royal Highness" but it's kind of hard to get people to say that to me. I tend to travel incognito and leave my crown at home.
Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 07-27-2013 at 09:34 PM..
My children say "Ma'am" and "Sir" because they have manners, not because they are fake or prissy. They respect PEOPLE not just AGE or RANK.
Ma'am and Sir is NOT about age. I call folks much younger than me Ma'am and Sir because it is the polite thing to do. Being called Ma'am does not make me feel old; it makes me feel that the person speaking is polite and well mannered and cares enough to be polite to me.
Moderator Cut
It is the polite thing to do WHERE YOU LIVE. It is not impolite not to use "sir" or "ma'am" in places where this has never been the tradition. I am not sure why some people are having trouble understanding this.
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Gosh, doesn't this incident go right along with the topic!? Even in writing, I knew you weren't being a b**ch! 
