I actually find it disturbing how (over) protective some parents get with their daughters (girls, appropriate)
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My father would never, ever allow us to date anyone until he'd met them first. If one came and honked his horn (that happened once), my father went out and asked him to leave. He insisted we be treated like the ladies he'd raised us to be.
My father had a very effective way of laying down the law without speaking a word. He'd invite the young man in, (we were't allowed to sit in on these "conversations" as it was "man talk") and sit there cleaning his service revolver while the suiter "declared his intentions" with my father's daughter, lol
I had the best, non troublesome dating experiences of my life (and for some reason, my dates always had me home earlier than my he and my father had agreed upon, lol)
Bad things happen to girls nowadays, and I can see how a man would absolutely reinforce the idea that he will go to any length to protect what he loves and honors.
Like Plmokn said, they're metaphors and It's absolutely wired into men to defend those he loves, respects and to defend a woman, any woman.
It's like the way a woman will automatically take charge of an infant in need. She goes into the nurture and healing mode. Men, go into the protective, defensive mode.
It's the way we are. Mental attitude can never overcome basic primal behavior, especially in an emergency.
I think dads should protect their daughters but this cave man mentality and cleaning guns in front of some poor young kid? seriously? That's just weird to me. I don't know what message that sends other than "Dad is crazy"
The thing that really, really irritates me is when Dads want to protect their daughters virtue at all costs yet encourage and even brag about how much sex their sons are getting.
Who do they think that their sons are having sex with? Obviously, with some other Dad's "precious little angel".
Thankfully, I believe that the double standard isn't as bad as it was years ago.
I think dads should protect their daughters but this cave man mentality and cleaning guns in front of some poor young kid? seriously? That's just weird to me. I don't know what message that sends other than "Dad is crazy"
That message has to be carefully cultivated and takes years to spread sufficiently. You do not need guns to elicit such a message.
If they hang around long enough to get to know dad, then they will learn dad is actually not crazy. IF they do not find the girl worth making the effort to hang around long enough, then they were short timers anyway. Good riddance.
It helps weed out the weak willed whimpy guys too.
That message has to be carefully cultivated and takes years to spread sufficiently. You do not need guns to elicit such a message.
If they hang around long enough to get to know dad, then they will learn dad is actually not crazy. IF they do not find the girl worth making the effort to hang around long enough, then they were short timers anyway. Good riddance.
It helps weed out the weak willed whimpy guys too.
Hmmm... All these dads who see themselves as some sort of screening service when their daughters are dating could raise their daughters to be strong, smart, independent women who are perfectly capable of knowing who they want to date and who they don't. These dads could make sure sure their daughters know how to protect themselves out there in the world. These dad could raise daughters who know how to handle themselves no matter where they are and who they are with. Like when they're away college. Or in the Peace Corps. Or travelling across Europe or Asia experiencing life. Or studying for a semester 6,000 miles from home.
Naaahhh. Then they don't get to play Big Daddy. And it's a lot of work raising a daughter, since it starts in toddler-hood, who can say, "No" and mean it to the point the guy she's dating knows he's dealing with a strong, smart, independent woman. Whom strong, smart, independent men tend to like. But then strong, smart, independent men tend to not like having the Big Daddy types strutting around in the background. So they're eliminated in Round 1.
Last edited by DewDropInn; 08-05-2013 at 11:45 AM..
Hmmm... All these dads who see themselves as some sort of screening service when their daughters are dating could raise their daughters to be strong, smart, independent women who are perfectly capable of knowing who they want to date and who they don't. These dads could make sure sure their daughters know how to protect themselves out there in the world. These dad could raise daughters who know how to handle themselves no matter where they are and who they are with. Like when they're away college. Or in the Peace Corps. Or travelling across Europe or Asia experiencing life. Or studying for a semester 6,000 miles from home.
Naaahhh. Then they don't get to play Big Daddy. And it's a lot of work raising a daughter, since it starts in toddler-hood, who can say, "No" and mean it to the point the guy she's dating knows he's dealing with a strong, smart, independent woman.
What makes you think the two are mutually exclusive?
I'm not a prude and I accept that my daughters will probably have sex as teenagers. I just want it to be consensual sex. Sometimes teenagers are not the best judge of character. If they decide to go out with a guy who seems like a creep but they're too much in lust to realize it, then I will have no problem with my husband deciding to play scary dad for the night. Or if he's not home to do it, I'm more than capable of sitting at the kitchen table cleaning my gun
I've also taught my daughter how to shoot and how to fight if someone grabs her, but obviously you can't send a teenager out on a date with a gun.
I find it really bizarre. As a new dad, people seem to be trying to socialize me into thinking this way. At a recent family gathering an older relative picked up my 1-year-old daughter and said something like, "Wow, she's so beautiful, you'll have to buy her a baseball bat soon!" I completely failed to pick up on the implication, and since my daughter has already shown a clear interest in sports my response was something like, "Yes of course I'm planning to buy her a baseball bat, soccer ball, basketball, etc. depending on what sports she shows interest in." Strangely enough, when I look at my 1-year-old daughter my focus is on nurturing her interests and raising her up to be a strong person rather than teaching her that every man in the world is a rapist who should be bludgeoned.
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