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My son is 15 now, don't date as of yet as far as I know . He seems ok with it, but his friends at school who have already started dating, keep questioning him about why he's not. Looks like there is a lot of peer pressure, but he says he handles them like he handled not eating meat.
He's a blessing and anything that a parent could ask for. I was worried if we're doing the right thing for him.
Is college too late to start dating? What is the recommended/appropriate age to start?
He sounds like a very mature young man. When he feels he is ready then evaluate it at that time. I don't think I'd just say - "wait until college". I don't think there is any magical age. It really is an individual thing depending on your child and what he is or isn't ready for.
As I posted before, kids are dating as early 5th grade and while it's the norm here, I would never let my kid date just because it's done locally. And if kids are going to be that shallow in not liking my kid because of that rule, then they aren't "good" friends material. Luckily for us though there are enough girls with parents that have a similar rule and they are all great friends, concentrating on school, giggling over 1D etc. I don't see anything wrong with this nor do I see it socially messing them up. They have their entire lives to find love and be in a relationship. Let their childhood (before 13) be just that, a childhood and not about kissing, relationship issues, dating etc.
As I posted before, kids are dating as early 5th grade and while it's the norm here, I would never let my kid date just because it's done locally. And if kids are going to be that shallow in not liking my kid because of that rule, then they aren't "good" friends material. Luckily for us though there are enough girls with parents that have a similar rule and they are all great friends, concentrating on school, giggling over 1D etc. I don't see anything wrong with this nor do I see it socially messing them up. They have their entire lives to find love and be in a relationship. Let their childhood (before 13) be just that, a childhood and not about kissing, relationship issues, dating etc.
Agreed.
I think before 14 (when most go on to high school) is toooooooo soon
I think before 14 (when most go on to high school) is toooooooo soon
You would cringe on my daughter's friends' facebook/instagram pictures. I remember one in particular from the summer after 5th grade (so ages 11ish-12ish) and there was a picture of a girl and boy going on a date to the movies and then another picture of them kissing on the mouth in front of the movie poster.
It made me so sad to see that. And they "broke" up right after as she caught him kissing another girl, her best friend. It was like a friggin soap opera. Geesh, I think that's why I feel so strongly about it. And that's why I won't let her date just to keep up with the Joneses/local customs.
We're from south asia, had an arranged marriage and moved to the US. When the children were young, we thought it would be nice if they have an arranged marriage like us, but now we decided that it would be better if they find their spouse. We told our children that they can date while in college but not in high school. We feel high school is too early for a relationship (which is not the case mostly) and will be a distraction for performing well in school.
My son is 15 now, don't date as of yet as far as I know . He seems ok with it, but his friends at school who have already started dating, keep questioning him about why he's not. Looks like there is a lot of peer pressure, but he says he handles them like he handled not eating meat.
He's a blessing and anything that a parent could ask for. I was worried if we're doing the right thing for him.
Is college too late to start dating? What is the recommended/appropriate age to start?
Thanks!
Whom your kids marry is very important. So is socialization. Be nice if they had some experience so they have a place to stand to make a judgment. Measure twice. Cut once.
You would cringe on my daughter's friends' facebook/instagram pictures. I remember one in particular from the summer after 5th grade (so ages 11ish-12ish) and there was a picture of a girl and boy going on a date to the movies and then another picture of them kissing on the mouth in front of the movie poster.
It made me so sad to see that. And they "broke" up right after as she caught him kissing another girl, her best friend. It was like a friggin soap opera. Geesh, I think that's why I feel so strongly about it. And that's why I won't let her date just to keep up with the Joneses/local customs.
I'm amazed when I see 16 year olds going their bf/gf's parents house during the weekend, having dinner there like they're about to get married and then going out at night. At 16 my perfect weekend would be spent studying and I could perhaps watch a film.
I'm amazed when I see 16 year olds going their bf/gf's parents house during the weekend, having dinner there like they're about to get married and then going out at night. At 16 my perfect weekend would be spent studying and I could perhaps watch a film.
You only serve dinner to intended spouses?
!6 is plenty old enough to go out on dates. Around here, the Homecoming dance is attended by freshmen and sophomores. Some kids go as a group, others pair off, but nobody goes alone. Juniors and seniors celebrate Homecoming with dinner parties, usually, but not always, as couples. The prom is only open the juniors and seniors.
Kids miss out on a lot of memories if they are prohibited from socializing with the opposite sex in high school.
We're from south asia, had an arranged marriage and moved to the US. When the children were young, we thought it would be nice if they have an arranged marriage like us, but now we decided that it would be better if they find their spouse. We told our children that they can date while in college but not in high school. We feel high school is too early for a relationship (which is not the case mostly) and will be a distraction for performing well in school.
My son is 15 now, don't date as of yet as far as I know . He seems ok with it, but his friends at school who have already started dating, keep questioning him about why he's not. Looks like there is a lot of peer pressure, but he says he handles them like he handled not eating meat.
He's a blessing and anything that a parent could ask for. I was worried if we're doing the right thing for him.
Is college too late to start dating? What is the recommended/appropriate age to start?
Thanks!
I met my wife of 6 years my Junior year of high school. we've been "together" for a total of 14 years counting our first "date" in high school. I dated a girl before her that was more of a "serious relationship", and other than that, I had a few "girlfriends" in high school. in junior high, "dating" consisted of awkardly asking a girl to be your "girlfriend" but really only going out in groups to the mall or to the movies.
I see no issues with dating in high school. I'd ease up a bit, personally. And if you do, tell him that he shouldn't date someone because his friends are, but if he meets someone he likes, and wants to take her out, then why not?
No, but having sit down dinners with the other person's family like it's a serious thing seems like too much to me. I certainly would never be allowed to do that nor would I want to.
Ages 12-13 - no boys were allowed to call my house and I had better not use the word "boyfriend" in their presence.
Ages 14-15 - could have a "boyfriend", but group dates only and he could only call once or twice a week, not on school nights unless it was a VERY short convo.
Ages 16-17 - Was allowed to have a boyfriend and go on dates alone, but he had to come to the door and pick me up, there was a strict curfew and we were never left alone in my house or his.... door always open, parents always in earshot. He could call more often.
Age 18 - I was grown and could do what I wanted. But as long as I was still living with them I had rules that had to be respected.
That was about it.
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. He seems ok with it, but his friends at school who have already started dating, keep questioning him about why he's not. Looks like there is a lot of peer pressure, but he says he handles them like he handled not eating meat. 
Look at it this way
