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Old 11-09-2013, 08:13 PM
 
34,279 posts, read 19,375,883 times
Reputation: 17261

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Sometimes it helps to here an opposing view on what you have done.

This isnt one of them cause only an idiot would blame you for someone elses choices. For the love of god, he was on the way to buy METH, and he assaulted his brother who refused! Yeah thats TOTALLY your fault. At the age he is things arent likely to change, while heartbreaking theres nothing good that will come from having him come back to your home. Just pretend he got hit by a car and grieve.

If your ex blames you, blame your ex for not being willing to step up and take care of business then-cause its your Ex;s turn.

Good luck on dealing with this, maybe consider changing your phone number, and not answering your door for a couple months so that you can be drama free. Cause thats crazy level stuff when they blame you.
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Old 11-09-2013, 08:57 PM
 
Location: Mississippi
1,248 posts, read 2,167,098 times
Reputation: 2539
OP, remember your thread in the mental health forum, and I'm sorry that it ended like this. You tried to help him. It is certainly not your fault that it didn't work out, and a violent, mentally ill, meth addict is not someone you want in your home.
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Old 11-10-2013, 10:22 AM
 
47,525 posts, read 69,707,823 times
Reputation: 22474
Being locked up is the only chance many drug addicts or alcoholics have. It's the only hope that their minds will clear of their drugs long enough to have any hope of starting to think straight.

They absolutely cannot think normally while on drugs or needing their next hit. Being locked up might let their minds clear and their real self can show back up. Then they need rehab, at least one of the 12 steps groups. They may stay clean for a period, maybe a very short period but it gives them some of the tools they need. It might take them several tries.

Otherwise, there's nothing you can do for addicts. Getting drug free is something they will have to do and it's not easy.
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Old 11-11-2013, 07:41 AM
 
Location: My beloved Bluegrass
20,126 posts, read 16,163,816 times
Reputation: 28335
Quote:
Originally Posted by brushrunner View Post
Now him, his other Brother and my Ex Wife is blaming me for this.
Then your ex-wife should have figured out a way to take him in. You did the right thing, by the way. You can not subject yourself or others to addict who shows a willingness to be violent.
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Old 11-11-2013, 07:49 AM
 
Location: My beloved Bluegrass
20,126 posts, read 16,163,816 times
Reputation: 28335
Quote:
Originally Posted by runswithscissors View Post
Tell the brother it's his fault. If only he went with him to buy the meth, none of this would have happened.
Do what!?!? The only person whose fault this is, as we are talking about someone who has been an adult for a while, is the addict. And h*ll no, the brother absolutely shouldn't have gone with him to get meth. Sheesh!!!!
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Old 11-20-2013, 11:09 AM
 
1,472 posts, read 2,406,823 times
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Well update Son is no longer in Jail, I have a feeling his Brother got him out. So basically nothing has changed with him.

Now New Drama in life, our other Sons Girlfriends Mom, her Car has not been legal for a year, such as no Plates or Insurance, has several Tickets. She couldn't get the Car Legal or pay the Tickets because her Meth was more important.

So now she is in Jail and Girlfriend is giving my Son grief because he can't get money to get her out. They just barely make ends meet as is.

brushrunner
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Old 11-20-2013, 12:46 PM
 
4,231 posts, read 15,425,493 times
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SOmetimes it take a few hard lessons for certain things to sink in, there's always consequences for bad behavior, it may not be tomorrow or the next day but eventually it catches up w/ ppl. It may do her some good sitting in jail, thinking of where her life is going and how she can make it better, surely she knows she cant stay one step ahead of the law forever, thinking of the 'big picture' - now that she has a lot of time to think - may be best for her overall. Tough time w/ the holidays but it may be best in the long run
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Old 11-20-2013, 02:52 PM
 
5,295 posts, read 5,239,528 times
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So how is that drama in your life unless you want it to be? Seems you are thriving on drama, if you have to find it from your Sons Girlfriends Mom. So girlfriend is giving your son grief. Too bad so sad.

Your choice if you want to make it your drama. Id stick my fingers in my ears and go....la la la la I can't hear you!
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Old 11-20-2013, 04:09 PM
 
1,472 posts, read 2,406,823 times
Reputation: 1175
Quote:
Originally Posted by Honeycrisp View Post
SOmetimes it take a few hard lessons for certain things to sink in, there's always consequences for bad behavior, it may not be tomorrow or the next day but eventually it catches up w/ ppl. It may do her some good sitting in jail, thinking of where her life is going and how she can make it better, surely she knows she cant stay one step ahead of the law forever, thinking of the 'big picture' - now that she has a lot of time to think - may be best for her overall. Tough time w/ the holidays but it may be best in the long run
Well guess three of them went together and got Loans to get her out. Thing is I know she won't pay them back. This won't help with her Fines and Court Cost.

brushrunner
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Old 11-20-2013, 04:11 PM
 
1,472 posts, read 2,406,823 times
Reputation: 1175
Quote:
Originally Posted by carnivalday View Post
So how is that drama in your life unless you want it to be? Seems you are thriving on drama, if you have to find it from your Sons Girlfriends Mom. So girlfriend is giving your son grief. Too bad so sad.

Your choice if you want to make it your drama. Id stick my fingers in my ears and go....la la la la I can't hear you!
Yea but it has a way of going from our Son and Granddaughter to us.

brushrunner
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