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its def harder when ur the main breadwinner. its like i gotta pay bills, keep buying food, providing entertainment. i cant do everything. so of course its gonna weigh on you when bills are the most important yet kids keep eating all the food. you guys keep saying thats how boys are. well i dont have 1000 dollars to spend on food every month. eating a loaf of bread in one day, eating crackers and cookies in 5 minutes. that must stop. i look at it from a diff perspective. if some guy was posting on fb saying this is my daughter when its mines. i would feel offended. i want them to have a relationship with their dad. go see him for the summer. i think thats important.
Then why in the world are the two of you producing more children you cannot afford? This woman obviously needs to stop bearing children and get a job.
see i disagree. just because you marry someone doesn't mean he takes on the financial responsibility of your kids. now if he adopts them thats a diff story. if the bio dad signs over his rights thats a diff story.
It depends on the agreement between the husband and wife before they marry. Many people chose to take on these responsibilities with the legalities of adoption. You should have worked this out with your girlfriend before you lived with her and had a child with her. You both clearly have different financial expectations. You should have never gotten together to begin with.
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Originally Posted by daboywonder2002
hopes i still have a problem with u not going after child support from the bio father. i know some guys want the bio father totally out of the picture. so they dont want anything from them.
It wasn't a guy wanting the bio father out of the picture. I didn't want the bio father involved. I supported my child myself as a single parent. He didn't deserve to be a father in any sense of the word. I wasn't going to put my child through the torture of being exposed to that despicable man for one moment of my child's life. That's why I broke up with him as soon as I found out I was pregnant. It was one thing to allow myself to be with an abuser, but I wasn't going to raise a child with an abuser and there was no way in hell I was going to allow an abuser to have visitation for one second. His part in this was nothing more than a sperm donor.
If you're their full time father you should be their father in every sense.
If you're not full time then he should be helping with some of their finances.
I once had a step something figure. Him and my mom were going to get married, I usually hated him, he tried to step in and parent and it didn't bode well with me at 14/15, especially after he took my door off once.
I responded by wedging a twin mattress in my door frame.
So that's why I think if you've been in their lives from early on be a full parent, if you haven't then don't be or try.
Good question. It seems to be a made up issue. His complaints about these kids are bizarre.
Maybe he thinks she should be spending the money buying more food for his daughter and less for her sons... this guy really isn't cut out to be a father.
Maybe he thinks she should be spending the money buying more food for his daughter and less for her sons... this guy really isn't cut out to be a father.
It takes a special kind of person to make a blended family work.
It takes a special kind of person to make a blended family work.
It really does. Two of my brothers have done amazingly well in that respect. Raising their step-children as their own and not treating them differently from their bio children. Those kids are all really close and I reckon that not treating them differently has played a huge part in that.
It really does. Two of my brothers have done amazingly well in that respect. Raising their step-children as their own and not treating them differently from their bio children. Those kids are all really close and I reckon that not treating them differently has played a huge part in that.
Agreed and this all plays out for many years to come, along with subsequent generations (his potential future grandchildren, cousin relationships, etc). A petty step-parent who is not 110% invested in his/her blended family shouldn't have signed up in the first place. It's too bad so many only realize this years into it.
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