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This goes beyond bullying - it's physical assault. Whatever happened to hall monitors??
Seventh grade is a classic time for such brutality, unfortunately, and if your daughter has been scapegoated or targeted, simply asking these boys to stop is unlikely to be effective - instead, I'd predict they're going to just become more subtle and harder to catch in the act.
Personally, I think your daughter was quite justified in slapping the boy, if he was the one who hit and shoved her - the school may not see it that way, however.
Can you ask (or the school require) the teacher whose class your daughter has just left to watch the hallway as the kids are leaving his or her classroom? Perhaps all the teachers should be required to stand by their classroom doors and keep an eye on things when classes change, as well as after school (though this would be tough, as some students do need to see teachers after school).
Many middle schools have a zero tolerance policy on bullying. Of course, that means that proof has to be absolute. It sounds as if your daughter's school needs to step it up considerably and make the student body very aware that this behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. Having a popular teacher, backed by popular, older kids (eighth graders) declare their disdain for bullying may help.
Meanwhile, though this sounds frivolous and superficial, make sure your daughter's physical appearance doesn't subject her to teasing or bullying. If she wears glasses, make sure they are becoming. Ditto her hairstyle and clothing - doesn't have to be expensive; does have to be reasonably trendy at this age. Kids can be extremely cruel to anyone they perceive as "different", babyish, or otherwise not conforming to whatever the norm is at a given time. So do what you can to eliminate these obvious triggers, should the exist.
Good luck to your daughter - don't let the school brush this under the rug.
mini camera get one at the spy shop. I have grand daughters, one 13... afraid if you push her, she will push back n knock your kid out. my other grand daughter now 25,,, I had to show her to fight and think she did Ok till graduated, my 9 yr old grand daughter,,, aiy yaya- that's one I'm worried bout, she's a tiny pip-sweak- but she will defend her self and can be very mean...all 45 lbs of her. My oldest was severy bullied by one mean kid,,, told him to tell the kid to stop playing and BRING it ON!... and he never borthered him after that- that kid went to juvi.., I think you just have to stand up for self and show no fear, I don't know how you instill that in your kids?
My daughter is currently 12 turning 13 late Febuary. She is in the 7th grade and this group of boys is in the same grade. It mostly happens when the classes switch. The worst they have ever done was they pushed my daughter against a locker and punched her in the face. I checked my emails and at 2:46PM the school board sent me an email saying that they didn't have any proof of the bullying because they abuse her in the hall that dosent have a camera. They are having students go into the principals office and explain what is happening. So they are doing something. I requested that hallway get a camera. However, my daughter might get in trouble also because when they pushed my daughter against the locker, she slapped one of the boys in the face. Should I fight self-defense, or be passive?
Yes, this is serious. Very serious.
Unfortunately, they may not be able to do anything about this incident, as it sounds like the boys will/did claim it is a "he said - she said" situation. The boys may have even claimed that they were "flirting" with your daughter and like her & she over reacted and slapped one of them.
I have observed a somewhat similar situation (in a HS) where it really was flirting and not bullying, but the boy was just really immature and awkward around girls. He playfully pushed a girl and she slapped him back hard and it nearly became a huge fight. I'm not saying that this happened to your daughter but the school may have seen physical "flirting" and wrongly assumed that it was more of the same.
Since this has happened more than once the school should be stationing more staff in the hallway, and maybe get a camera. I would suggest that those boys need more supervision in the hallways, the school could assign a staff member to escort them leave to the next class early or late to keep them out of the hallways where they cause problems. Or an adult should just walk with them to the next class. If absolutely necessary have your daughter walk to class earlier or later to avoid these boys.
I just subbed in a middle school today. Every single teacher was in the hallways during the times that the classes passed. I do not think that something like that could happen in that school, without it being observed by a teacher. I sub teach in three different middle schools none of them have cameras anywhere in the school, however, they do have a lot of adult supervision at all times. All of the principals are in various hallways during passing times and supervise the lunch room.
Keep on top of this situation. Good luck.
Last edited by germaine2626; 02-04-2014 at 10:13 PM..
Unfortunately, they may not be able to do anything about this incident, as it sounds like the boys will/did claim it is a "he said - she said" situation. The boys may have even claimed that they were "flirting" with your daughter and like her & she over reacted and slapped one of them.
I have observed a somewhat similar situation (in a HS) where it really was flirting and not bullying, but the boy was just really immature and awkward around girls. He playfully pushed a girl and she slapped him back hard and it nearly became a huge fight. I'm not saying that this happened to your daughter but the school may have seen physical "flirting" and wrongly assumed that it was more of the same.
Since this has happened more than once the school should be stationing more staff in the hallway, and maybe get a camera. I would suggest that those boys need more supervision in the hallways, the school could assign a staff member to escort them leave to the next class early or late to keep them out of the hallways where they cause problems. Or an adult to just walk with them to the next. If absolutely necessary, have your daughter walk to class earlier or later to avoid these boys.
I just subbed in a middle school today. Every single teacher was in the hallways during the times that the classes passed. I do not think that something like that could happen, in that school, without it being observed by a teacher. In the three middle schools where I sub teach, none of them have cameras anywhere in the school, however, they do have a lot of adult supervision at all times..
Keep on top of this situation. Good luck.
Out of the 55 hallways in her school, that one has no camera yet. There was no adults because of the cafeteria and gym apparently. Fortunately, that part is a heavily traveled hallway. I am looking at a school map on the school website...I am trying to figure out other ways she can get to her class without taking that hallway.
The experience of my family (particularly, my daughter) is that the school will do very little, and the "better" the school, the less they will do...because their children don't do such things.
If she got punched in the face, there should be physical evidence. That evidence needs to be documented...call the police and report the assault, or take her to the doctor. You need proof of her injury. You need to do this every time she is hurt.
The other thing she needs to do is to yell for help if she's being attacked. Call attention to herself, get the teachers out in the hallway to witness what's going on.
Tell her to keep a log of everything these boys do to her, the date, the time, and maybe even write down the names of a few students who were there and saw what was going on.
You also need to figure out a backup plan if you decide the school can't keep your child safe. A different school, online school, etc.
If the kid hits the girl again she should yell out loud.......RAPE.
That will stop the boys in their tracks. They will never go near her again.
Teach her to kick the boy in the groin when assaulted.
Or "you puncha my face I puncha outa you front teeth".
I raised 4 boys and 3 girls.
I instilled into their minds that they do not have to take any crap from any boy or girl that menaced them.
I also told them that they were NOT to hit anyone first or they would have to deal with me at home.....if punched to hit back hard as possible and I would be at the Deans office lickety split. Never had to go.
When approached at school by a bully of sorts they stood their ground and the potential bully person backed off.
Does your district have a program where your daughter can be home schooled on a computer? If not, you should look into other home schooling options immediately. Plenty of good advice from the above posters, but I would not depend on the school administrators doing anything about the bullying. There are too many incentives for them to do nothing at all.
Report it to the police. Tell the school that you're reporting it to the police, they can warn the boys' parents. Maybe a cop coming in to talk to them and the threat of getting a record will get them to keep their hands to themselves. Keep a very close eye on it though, because if these boys are really some bad seeds and it starts escalating, you should take her out of the school right away. A 7th grade boy punching a girl in the face is completely unacceptable, it's assault
If your daughter has physical evidence of being assaulted, you need to take her to the police and get it documented. Also mention how you've been asking the school to intervene and they haven't done much. I would hope a visit from the cops would be enough, but if it gets worse pull her from school.
I would normally agree with the self-defense argument, but knowing what I have experienced from defending myself as a child-- she will just get into trouble, too. They'll make up some bogus crap about how she should have "known better than to do that" or shouldn't have "provoked them." Public schools are such a joke nowadays. I say pull her, have her finish school through online learning and have her join a local homeschooling or co-op group with other kids.
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