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Certainly having students "harassing" or bullying special education students is the lowest form of cruelty. It should not be tolerated. If a child was kicking or spitting at a child with down syndrome, would that make it feel any worse? Because people with autism are disabled, even if they don't LOOK disabled, and are just as helpless as someone in a wheelchair or with mental retardation. They need our protection.
One other factor to consider is that sometimes in these situation it's not only the "victim" that is in special ed. I've had classroom situations with two kids on the spectrum where one of them seeks out the other to pick on and not other kids. Most people bully because they feel powerless in some other area of their life (they go home and a parent or older sibling does it, or they feel socially less powerful at school so they seek out someone even less powerful than themselves.) I'm not sure even the OP would know this since obviously the school can't reveal information about another student to the parent, but I wondered if that could be a factor here. In the case I mentioned earlier, the school was taking pretty huge steps to try to keep it from happening, but for example, couldn't completely keep the boys apart if both wanted to play on the football team, or both wanted to play in orchestra. Nor could the "bully" have the book thrown at him since like the "victim" his disability put him in a class that receives extra protection and accommodation for behaviors that haven't yet been extinguished on grade level. Spitting at, kicking, and continuing to harass a female student is not normal, if the behavior is in fact occurring as interpreted by the OP's child. I have to wonder if something else is going on that is to some extent preventing the school from being able to fully act.
I wouldn't worry about the police part. You didn't threaten or touch the boy, thankfully.
What I would probably do is make a royal pest of myself in the administration offices. Is the bullying happening in the classroom? The playground? Does your child have an aide assigned to her? I'm not sure who you've actually complained to.
she had me worried there for a minute with that N in parenthesis.
I don't see anything inappropriate about telling the child to leave her child alone. That's crazy. When did we become a society that cannot talk to children when their parent is not around? The police will not do anything unless she had her hands on the boy or cursed at him and got in his face in a bad way.
Frankly when you have an autistic child who is unaware of social things, you may have to think about explaining autism to the children in her class though. See this mom's post about inclusion and how she explained it to her son's class.
Maybe inappropriate at that age, the child is 9 so that's pretty young. If this child was older like in high school, I might not have a problem as much.
I don't think it's inappropriate at all for her to say something to the kid. If the incident happened in the neighborhood or on the playground, I would say something. Having it happen on school grounds does not mean her mother has to stand by and tolerate it. If a kid misbehaves or exhibits jerky behavior at my house and I hear it, I say something.
After all, apparently no one else is calling him on his behavior.
I also don't see anything about her that says she is some "crazy adult getting in the kid's face."
I would say it to his mom, too. The principal would get sick of seeing me in his office.
If her child cannot fend for herself, she HAS to step in.
It seems nothing has changed since when I was in school. I was constantly bullied, but no teachers or administrators would ever do anything about it. They would tell me to "ignore him" or "stay away from him" or "I didn't see anything, so I can't do anything". Yet when I'd be accused of the most minor infraction, I'd get the maximum punishment possible, even though nobody would see me do anything wrong. My parents were never any help, they'd just tell me that "life isn't fair" (I think that is a phrase parents need to remove from their vocabulary), or they'd go so far as to call me a liar. Unfortunately, it seems that teachers and administrators relate more to the bullies, since most of them were bullies themselves when they were in school.
I think it depends on your approach to the child. If you just said to the boy to leave your daughter alone, there is nothing wrong with that. However I would have also talked to the parents.
Sometimes you have to be very aggressive. Demand the school does something about it, your daughter should not have to suffer because the school's lack of action!
I have said this story several times on this board. My son was bullied at his school, and they never did anything about it. Finally my husband and I met with the counselors, teacher and principal. He was very firm and said to the principal my son will not be bullied again in school. Do you understand?
Finally something was done. The principal brought the kids and parents to the school and let them know they had to leave my son alone or the boys would be suspended. That finally ended it.
Maybe inappropriate at that age, the child is 9 so that's pretty young. If this child was older like in high school, I might not have a problem as much.
The child in the url was in 4th or 5th grade. The explanation can be tailored to the age of the child. The child with autism doesn't have to be in class for the discussion, but he might be if he has been informed about his own autism. He was 10. It seems to me that this discussion is appropriate for younger children than this in fact. Certainly it would have to be changed for high school students. Starting as young as possible, children should be educated about the disabillities their classmates have. They know these children are different, but need the information to understand and accept the differences.
The child in the url was in 4th or 5th grade. The explanation can be tailored to the age of the child. The child with autism doesn't have to be in class for the discussion, but he might be if he has been informed about his own autism. He was 10. It seems to me that this discussion is appropriate for younger children than this in fact. Certainly it would have to be changed for high school students. Starting as young as possible, children should be educated about the disabillities their classmates have. They know these children are different, but need the information to understand and accept the differences.
My 9 y.o. daughter is being bullied by a boy (N) at school. She's autistic and even though we tell her to stand up for herself, she doesn't. She tells me what he does, I tell the school and all they do is tell him not to do it again. I saw the kid yesterday when I went to pick up my daughter and I told him "Leave my daughter alone". His mom found out and she said she's going to call the police on me. What would you do? I never laid a hand on her son, nor did I use curse words or threaten him.
- yeah? well the next time your sun bullies my daughter, it skips the school and goes to the police
Bullying is not as acceptable these days as it once does
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