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My 9 y.o. daughter is being bullied by a boy (N) at school. She's autistic and even though we tell her to stand up for herself, she doesn't. She tells me what he does, I tell the school and all they do is tell him not to do it again. I saw the kid yesterday when I went to pick up my daughter and I told him "Leave my daughter alone". His mom found out and she said she's going to call the police on me. What would you do? I never laid a hand on her son, nor did I use curse words or threaten him.
I wouldn't worry about the police part. You didn't threaten or touch the boy, thankfully.
What I would probably do is make a royal pest of myself in the administration offices. Is the bullying happening in the classroom? The playground? Does your child have an aide assigned to her? I'm not sure who you've actually complained to.
I wouldn't worry about the police part. You didn't threaten or touch the boy, thankfully.
What I would probably do is make a royal pest of myself in the administration offices. Is the bullying happening in the classroom? The playground? Does your child have an aide assigned to her? I'm not sure who you've actually complained to.
N is the first letter of his name. I am in the principal's office and they never do anything to the bully kids, just lose a recess or something small like that. I've talked to the superintendent and they basically tell me it's just kids being kids. It's always on the playground. There's no aide assigned to her (she's high functioning so she's in a regular class.)
My 9 y.o. daughter is being bullied by a boy (N) at school. She's autistic and even though we tell her to stand up for herself, she doesn't. She tells me what he does, I tell the school and all they do is tell him not to do it again. I saw the kid yesterday when I went to pick up my daughter and I told him "Leave my daughter alone". His mom found out and she said she's going to call the police on me. What would you do? I never laid a hand on her son, nor did I use curse words or threaten him.
There is always homeschool or changing to another school.
Or you could call the police yourself and tell them you want this boy to stay clear of her. If adults can get protective orders to keep other adults away, maybe the same could be done with children.
My 9 y.o. daughter is being bullied by a boy (N) at school. She's autistic and even though we tell her to stand up for herself, she doesn't. She tells me what he does, I tell the school and all they do is tell him not to do it again. I saw the kid yesterday when I went to pick up my daughter and I told him "Leave my daughter alone". His mom found out and she said she's going to call the police on me. What would you do? I never laid a hand on her son, nor did I use curse words or threaten him.
What exactly is he doing?
It was absolutely inappropriate of you to have any contact with the other child at all. How would you feel if a strange, crazy adult came up and got in your child's face and frightened her? The mom may very well call the police or have a report on file with the school. Sometimes parents who have had an issue are not allowed to come on campus without being escorted around by an administrator every time. You don't want to get yourself into that position.
You as the parent need to document each and every incident of (whatever we're talking about) in writing with the school. That means you send an email to her teacher every time, copied to the principal with date, incident and exactly what happened. I would put, "I expect this to be addressed immediately and want this child ordered to stay away from my child at all times." Most schools can do a "stay away order" or something like that where the other child is told officially they must stay away or there will be consequences. However, this only usually occurs after something serious, and you haven't spelled out what is happening with your daughter, so there's really no way to judge what we're talking about.
It was absolutely inappropriate of you to have any contact with the other child at all. How would you feel if a strange, crazy adult came up and got in your child's face and frightened her? The mom may very well call the police or have a report on file with the school. Sometimes parents who have had an issue are not allowed to come on campus without being escorted around by an administrator every time. You don't want to get yourself into that position.
You as the parent need to document each and every incident of (whatever we're talking about) in writing with the school. That means you send an email to her teacher every time, copied to the principal with date, incident and exactly what happened. I would put, "I expect this to be addressed immediately and want this child ordered to stay away from my child at all times." Most schools can do a "stay away order" or something like that where the other child is told officially they must stay away or there will be consequences. However, this only usually occurs after something serious, and you haven't spelled out what is happening with your daughter, so there's really no way to judge what we're talking about.
Good points. It's never good for a parent to directly intervene and take on a child, even if the parent feels his/her child is being picked on.
It was absolutely inappropriate of you to have any contact with the other child at all. How would you feel if a strange, crazy adult came up and got in your child's face and frightened her? The mom may very well call the police or have a report on file with the school. Sometimes parents who have had an issue are not allowed to come on campus without being escorted around by an administrator every time. You don't want to get yourself into that position.
You as the parent need to document each and every incident of (whatever we're talking about) in writing with the school. That means you send an email to her teacher every time, copied to the principal with date, incident and exactly what happened. I would put, "I expect this to be addressed immediately and want this child ordered to stay away from my child at all times." Most schools can do a "stay away order" or something like that where the other child is told officially they must stay away or there will be consequences. However, this only usually occurs after something serious, and you haven't spelled out what is happening with your daughter, so there's really no way to judge what we're talking about.
I know, it was very inappropriate and I regret doing it. I can see why the mom would be upset but I think a police report is a little silly. I don't mind being escorted by an admin, that's okay by me. This kid has been following around bullying my kid, spitting, kicking, pushing, etc. And nothing is done about it.
It was absolutely inappropriate of you to have any contact with the other child at all. How would you feel if a strange, crazy adult came up and got in your child's face and frightened her? The mom may very well call the police or have a report on file with the school. Sometimes parents who have had an issue are not allowed to come on campus without being escorted around by an administrator every time. You don't want to get yourself into that position.
You as the parent need to document each and every incident of (whatever we're talking about) in writing with the school. That means you send an email to her teacher every time, copied to the principal with date, incident and exactly what happened. I would put, "I expect this to be addressed immediately and want this child ordered to stay away from my child at all times." Most schools can do a "stay away order" or something like that where the other child is told officially they must stay away or there will be consequences. However, this only usually occurs after something serious, and you haven't spelled out what is happening with your daughter, so there's really no way to judge what we're talking about.
I don't see anything inappropriate about telling the child to leave her child alone. That's crazy. When did we become a society that cannot talk to children when their parent is not around? The police will not do anything unless she had her hands on the boy or cursed at him and got in his face in a bad way.
Frankly when you have an autistic child who is unaware of social things, you may have to think about explaining autism to the children in her class though. See this mom's post about inclusion and how she explained it to her son's class.
I don't see anything inappropriate about telling the child to leave her child alone. That's crazy. When did we become a society that cannot talk to children when their parent is not around? The police will not do anything unless she had her hands on the boy or cursed at him and got in his face in a bad way.
She can certainly file a police report, and even if the police don't come out and arrest the OP, the school may very well be willing to put restrictions in place for the OP. I also find it somewhat ironic that the OP is so upset about a 9 year old misbehaving (which is inappropriate) but would as a grown adult go up to someone else's child on school property and intimidate them. Adults are expected to have better judgment and self control than children. One does not have to curse or put their hands on a child to scare them horribly and the school is not a place for any random parent to go up to anyone else's child and do anything. Period.
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This kid has been following around bullying my kid, spitting, kicking, pushing, etc
All of that is completely inappropriate. You should instruct your daughter not to "stand up for herself" which is kind of a fuzzy target anyway, but to immediately go up to a teacher every time it happens and tell the teacher. Then she should immediately come home and tell you, and you should send an email that evening copied to the teacher, principal, and special ed coordinator for the school district. Schools pay attention when something is put in writing and it's clear you are documenting every incident as if for (hopefully it won't come to that) legal action.
Not that this makes the behavior okay, but is there any chance the other child is also in a special ed situation? (You may not know this, unless your daughter happened to know if they both were pulled out for similar interventions, etc.)
I think what you did is fine. I think it's up to the school to handle it, and if they don't, what choice do you have?
If the mom calls the cops on you, I bet they'll just laugh. I agree with the person upthread who said, "When did we become a society in which parents can't talk to other people's children?" It's one thing if you said, "If you touch my kid again I'll slap the crap out of you" (and I have a kid with autism, so I'd be tempted to say it lol). But to tell the kid to knock it off? Whatever. Hopefully the little turd got scared enough that he won't bother her again.
Kids with autism cannot defend themselves against bullies. They NEED intervention, and if it happens again, I would raise all holy hell at school. If they're going to turn a blind eye, they can deal with crazy parents lol. I am fiercely protective of my kid with autism, I have no tolerance for bullying.
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