Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I dropped my daughter off at daycare this morning, and because her classroom was closed, I dropped her off in the older kids classroom next door. This is correct, that is where you drop the kids off until they open her regular classroom.
She promptly went over to some stuff and started playing, enjoying herself.
At the same time, the teacher realized that they now had enough kids to open the second classroom, and asked everyone to walk over to the second classroom. My daughter had played with the toys for about 20 seconds, and then was told she had to stop playing and walk next door.
She didn't like that - she enjoys playing in the bigger kids classroom (of course) and didn't have much time to play and wasn't ready to move over yet. She started sobbing really hard - her whole body shook, and I picked her up to hold her for a while until she calmed down. Eventually the teacher came over and invited her to play with the rest of the kids.
I'm a little bothered by this - as adults I wouldn't like this situation either. Get put into a place and told to go play, find something to play with, then seconds later get told to move over. I don't normally want to intervene with how the school runs their program, but am concerned that her feelings got hurt by the staffs actions.
Do you think this is something I should step in to try to help resolve, or is this just a good learning experience for my child? It happens on a pretty regular basis.
Its a good learning experience for your child. Transitions are hard for the daycare age group but learning how to make transitions is a necessary skill she'll need to develop. How old is she? Under 3, I'd expect this behavior. Over 3, talk to her about how that's likely to happen again and she needs to roll with it and do what the teacher says to do just like all the other kids. (Hug, kiss, sorry you feel sad but you need to go to your class now).
I think it's a learning experience for the child.... If her feelings are hurt by having to put down toys in one room and move to a different set of toys in the next room, I think that's a little too sensitive. Honestly, you knew that being in the "big kids" classroom was temporary until they opened her classroom next door. It could be "20 seconds" as you put it, or it could be a half hour, etc.
It's not like toys were stolen from her or rules changed.
The next time the classroom isn't open and she has to temporarily be in the big kids room, I would communicate to her (depends on the age of course) that "we can play here for a few minutes while they get your room ready, but when Mrs. XYZ says we need to move next door, we will need to go, okay?" so that she understands that the playtime in that room will get cut-off.
She started sobbing really hard - her whole body shook, and I picked her up to hold her for a while until she calmed down. Eventually the teacher came over and invited her to play with the rest of the kids.
I'm a little bothered by this - as adults I wouldn't like this situation either. Get put into a place and told to go play, find something to play with, then seconds later get told to move over. I don't normally want to intervene with how the school runs their program, but am concerned that her feelings got hurt by the staffs actions.
Do you think this is something I should step in to try to help resolve, or is this just a good learning experience for my child? It happens on a pretty regular basis.
Since this happens regularly, she should have adjusted by now. You're holding her back developmentally by picking her up and holding her when she's overly upset by having to stop playing with a toy. The teacher inviting her to play with the other children was the appropriate way to redirect her attention and help her make the transition.
You're holding her back developmentally by picking her up and holding her when she's overly upset by having to stop playing with a toy.
It's not my typical style. I typically let things be. And I don't typically drop her off.
In this case, I didn't know what was going on. I watched her through the window, and didn't know if she was upset that I was watching through the window. That's what I thought it was. Or something didn't go well with another kid. It was only a couple hours later that I figured out that she didn't like the classroom change.
I can remind her that she might not get much time to play in the classroom next time I drop her off.
It's not my typical style. I typically let things be. And I don't typically drop her off.
In this case, I didn't know what was going on. I watched her through the window, and didn't know if she was upset that I was watching through the window. That's what I thought it was. Or something didn't go well with another kid. It was only a couple hours later that I figured out that she didn't like the classroom change.
I can remind her that she might not get much time to play in the classroom next time I drop her off.
Just an FYI: When you drop kids off at daycare, the faster you get out of there, the better. Parents staying causes the kids to cry longer. As soon as the parents are gone, the kids get over it quickly. If they're upset about something else, the daycare providers will handle it---as your daycare provider proved by handling it. She immediately knew why your daughter was upset and you didn't until a couple of hours later. Just leave daycare to daycare and go to work. LOL
She's 3, her feelings weren't hurt...she didn't get her way. The great thing about toddlers are that they are pretty uncomplicated. Get something I want=good; don't get something I want=bad.
It's the adults that complicate the hell out of things.
A couple of hours later you realized it was about the room change?!??!! Were you just thinking about this for hours or watching her through the window for hours?
It's not my typical style. I typically let things be. And I don't typically drop her off.
In this case, I didn't know what was going on. I watched her through the window, and didn't know if she was upset that I was watching through the window. That's what I thought it was. Or something didn't go well with another kid. It was only a couple hours later that I figured out that she didn't like the classroom change.
I can remind her that she might not get much time to play in the classroom next time I drop her off.
So you watched through the window and then returned when you saw her crying?
As another poster said, drop her off and GO. Don't watch through a window.
The teacher did the correct thing by inviting her to play and redirecting her attention to the other children and toys rather than encouraging the crying through hugs and picking her up.
She's 3, her feelings weren't hurt...she didn't get her way. The great thing about toddlers are that they are pretty uncomplicated. Get something I want=good; don't get something I want=bad.
This ^^^.
He feelings weren't hurt. She was pissed.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
