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^^I believe the research says that working more than 20 hrs a week can be deleterious to one's grades in high school and college. I don't know too many people who turn their noses down at people working hard.
How many physicians and CEOs do you personally know? I'm dying to hear that!
Quite a few actually but I haven't counted them. Do you not know any physicians or CEO's that you actually think it's incredible if someone has known any? There are a number of physicians within my family. I never thought it was a big deal to be related to or know one even as friends.
Also since I've worked all my life - including the years I was in college, I've actually met some CEOs!! I also don't consider them all that big a deal that no one could ever actually know any.
And there are tons of kids who balance school and work. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, and aren't we talking about chores at home not part time jobs? Are you saying kids who are paid for doing chores will learn how to work but will suffer in school?
You asked what an allowance teaches. I answered. I never said my kids don't do chores, but they can learn to budget with or without the chores.
Yes this.
Gosh, the allowance our children got was very small. It was mainly to allow them the opportunity to manage their own money (and so that I didn't have to listen to 'mo-om! Can I PLEEEEEASE have that" every time we went out. Because they knew the answer was - sure! Got any money?). Both my kids got part time jobs and worked pretty much as soon as they were able (at which point, allowance stopped) to fund things like gas and entertainment. They worked through high school and through college (well, one worked through college and graduated with a job in hand, and the other is still in college and still working). They've managed just fine.
Last edited by maciesmom; 03-16-2014 at 06:10 PM..
Quite a few actually but I haven't counted them. Do you not know any physicians or CEO's that you actually think it's incredible if someone has known any? There are a number of physicians within my family. I never thought it was a big deal to be related to or know one even as friends.
Also since I've worked all my life - including the years I was in college, I've actually met some CEOs!! I also don't consider them all that big a deal that no one could ever actually know any.
I know a number of doctors as I work with a group of them now and I've worked in health care my entire career. I do not, however, know many details of what they did in college.
Succeeding academically requires a good work ethic. Therefore if your children are taught that academics matter, the work ethic naturally follows. But if you emphasize the job, frequently academics suffer.
I have children who were not allowed to work during the school year because academics come first in our family. They had excellent grades, worked in their fields in college, and now they have careers which utilize the work ethic they learned through academics. None of them regret that they never had the opportunity to flip burgers.
Additionally, I have seen many of my students have their grades suffer for their part time jobs. These are not families where the children must work in order for the families to survive but rather families who are just unaware how much more competitive and stressful school is for many students, particularly high achieving ones. One of my students right now is in danger of losing his appointment to the USNA if he cannot get one of his grades back into the B range. He just pushed academics to the back burner when he started a job he does no even need but his parents felt would make him more "well-rounded". I am sure there exists a subset of students who can manage academics, family, sports, extracurriculars and a job. But in my experience as a teacher for over a decade, they are the minority.
Well, I guess somehow my kids were able to handle both. Actually, three things. They were honor roll students, played varsity sports, and held part time jobs. Grades were highest on the hierarchy, but geez, it didn't seem to be too difficult to accomplish what they set their minds to.
I don't think it does kids any good to head out for college expecting not to contribute the standard of living they have become accustomed to at home.
Well, I guess somehow my kids were able to handle both. Actually, three things. They were honor roll students, played varsity sports, and held part time jobs. Grades were highest on the hierarchy, but geez, it didn't seem to be too difficult to accomplish what they set their minds to.
I don't think it does kids any good to head out for college expecting not to contribute the standard of living they have become accustomed to at home.
I worked and so do my kids -- I remember talking to someone else while I was in college who also worked. We were discussing how working didn't seem to hurt our grades, if anything maybe help our grades because we had to skip most of the parties. Only some of the kids who didn't work actually studied more, some just partied a whole lot more.
There is no one right way however -- some kids need more time to study than others.
Okay, 5 pages, not reading everyone's ideas. I say they should be responsible for their own areas the best they can. That's a given. Maybe do a fun family activity on Saturday if they do well-ish. Or a small allowance?
If you want to pay them I say make those things above and beyond their regular responsibilities.
I made the mistake of not teaching my kids financial responsibility. Of course there was no money to give them when they were growing up so...
My wife and I often talked about this, and we cannot completely come up with an agreement on this topic. Right now our kids are 3 and 5 years old.
I want our kids to have to do a bunch of chores at a very young age to teach them work ethics and responsibility. After all....it worked for me. I don't want them to grow up lazy like their older cousins who are over 21 years old, not going to school, and still living at home with their parents. I was instructed to clean the house as early as 5 years old, which is our daughter age. I was forced to do yard work for my parent's friends. As I got older my mom found me a job at her work and I started working there at a very young age.
Here is an article I found on the New York Times: Kid To Work
The article has good ideas for putting teens to work to teach them the same lessons. But my kids are younger. What do you guys think? How old should they start? How much responsibility should we be giving them?
At our house the kids were expected to help in the general running of the house. They were expected to help from the time they were very younge (toddlers). We didn't turn "chores" into chores if you know what I mean. The things that need to be done are just done and we all do them because we live here. I think you can really set up hard feelings from your kids if you set up battles over "chores." Even the word chores is negative. I think it is better for kids to just participate in running the house (age appropriate) without making a big deal over it.
BTW-we are of the mindset that our kids don't get paid to participate in running the house. They just do it. We do pay them for extra things outside of the normal things they do. We don't give them an allowance until they start driving. They get money for gifts.
And there are tons of kids who balance school and work. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, and aren't we talking about chores at home not part time jobs? Are you saying kids who are paid for doing chores will learn how to work but will suffer in school?
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No, and I even gave examples of age appropriate chores. What I was referring to was the OP, and other posters, stating the importance of putting even young teens to work outside the home.
Well, I guess somehow my kids were able to handle both. Actually, three things. They were honor roll students, played varsity sports, and held part time jobs. Grades were highest on the hierarchy, but geez, it didn't seem to be too difficult to accomplish what they set their minds to.
I don't think it does kids any good to head out for college expecting not to contribute the standard of living they have become accustomed to at home.
Thats great.
As I stated, my experience as a teacher has not been that all or even most kids can work, excel academically, and participate in extra-curriculars. I know my current USNA appointee, his parents think he can manage it all by just "working a little harder", meanwhile I have seen this big, tough, popular kid crying from being overwhelmed. If I were his parents I would not only remove the job but also one of his extra-curriculars. The good it would do (besides easing his stress) is that he would be able to get 4 years of a world class education for free, and get his ultimate dream career.
For mine, not working allowed my sister to take additional art classes outside of school, practice her art, and eventually get a free ride to a top art school. To be fair, isn't winning scholarship contributing?
As I stated, my experience as a teacher has not been that all or even most kids can work, excel academically, and participate in extra-curriculars. I know my current USNA appointee, his parents think he can manage it all by just "working a little harder", meanwhile I have seen this big, tough, popular kid crying from being overwhelmed. If I were his parents I would not only remove the job but also one of his extra-curriculars. The good it would do (besides easing his stress) is that he would be able to get 4 years of a world class education for free, and get his ultimate dream career.
For mine, not working allowed my sister to take additional art classes outside of school, practice her art, and eventually get a free ride to a top art school. To be fair, isn't winning scholarship contributing?
How many kids get scholarships out of their extracurriculars?
Your anecdotes doesn't count for any more than Mattie's do.
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