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Desensitize him. Have him play a video game with his nerdy older brother or cousin in which he loses badly. Then invite him to play board games and sports with the adults. Don't go easy on him. Buy him a Buffalo Bills jersey and a Phillies hat! Losing sucks, but when you do it enough times you get used to it. You keep trying because winning is great, but you get a few losses under your belt and realize it's okay.
I think he is too old for this method I am about to suggest but you could try. Give him a sticker of a star for every win and give him a moon for every game lost. Emphasize that while winning is great, its the participation and what lessons learned through the game are also equally important.
I honestly dont think you need to push him hard and make him lose intentionally for him to learn to lose gracefully.
If people hate you when you win, you're being a poor sport. If people hate you when you lose, you're being a poor sport.
Do NOT, EVER use professional athletes as role models--ever.
Take him to some high-school ballgames--people a bit closer to his age and sit there until the game is over and point out how even the losers hold their heads up and congratulate the other teams. May be best to avoid any sort of regional or state championship games where poor sportsmanship may rear its ugly head. . .
Take him to some high-school ballgames--people a bit closer to his age and sit there until the game is over and point out how even the losers hold their heads up and congratulate the other teams. May be best to avoid any sort of regional or state championship games where poor sportsmanship may rear its ugly head. . .
My son was the same though, a total drama queen, had tantrums right up to 6 or 7. We tried to get him playing football but the kid would freak when the ball came his way. A real disappointment to his father haha.
Then he grew up.
Now he's a virtually silent 18 year old who is extremely mature for his age and reminds me A LOT of my yuppie brother. These things can be genetic, my brother was a whiny kid too. They seem to channel that energy into being high achievers when they grow up, in my family at least.
Take him to some high-school ballgames--people a bit closer to his age and sit there until the game is over and point out how even the losers hold their heads up and congratulate the other teams. May be best to avoid any sort of regional or state championship games where poor sportsmanship may rear its ugly head. . .
I think that is a good idea, as well.
My son was on his HS football team and he often mentioned how people on the other team would give specific compliments to the players on his team and vice versa. It wasn't just the obligatory "shake hands at the end of the game" but honest congratulations for a job well done or skill shown on a specific play.
I say don't kill the pass on just figure out how to channel it. Let him know losing is ok just don't get beat. By that I mean as long as he gives his best it's ok. It just means he may have to work a bit harder. You can go to a library and get a book about someone like Micheal Jordan or whomever who got beat but became a star from hard work and talent or find someone like Larry Bird who also became a star from hard work and talent but the stars work real hard and . Lose sometimes but they don't get beat.
When he quits without finishing the race he lets the other runners beat him. He can lose to come back and compete again but don't get beat by giving up. Once that fire goes out its hard to delight it. Maybe play him in monopoly to get the financial juices flowing or sign him up for football. He's special but he just needs some guidance. You may have a future CEO or President in the making.
Acknowledge his feelings about losing, because it does suck to lose, and then teach him appropriate ways to deal with those feelings and how to 'lose gracefully.'
The suggestion to watch sports, or even athletics together, is a good one, but you can also model how to be both a good loser, and winner yourself. Just don't intentionally lose. Kids aren't dumb.
Use a social story. He's at a good age for it and they are helpful.
Do NOT remove him from playing sports. I like the idea of firmly telling him he has 60 seconds to get it together or your leaving but dont just start finding ways for him to avoid the situation- then it might grow.
If you overly comfort him (or mom does) your not allowing him to learn to control his emotions.
Take him to some high-school ballgames--people a bit closer to his age and sit there until the game is over and point out how even the losers hold their heads up and congratulate the other teams. May be best to avoid any sort of regional or state championship games where poor sportsmanship may rear its ugly head. . .
That's a great idea. Avoid the games with season ending consequences though, as some of the high school athletes WILL cry losing in the state semi finals, etc...
Its also worth noting that as he gets older, less talented kids will drop out, the pitchers will get better, and change speeds, and throw curves, and he will strike out a lot more, no matter how good he is.
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A real disappointment to his father haha.
