Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Being a freshman sucks. It gets easier after that, thank god.
Let's hope when your son is a senior, he will remember this experience and tell those other seniors to shut their mouths when they find a freshman to pick on.
Rose, HIF and Greenie- Thank you all. Thank you for getting it, thank you for seeing what I see in him and thank you for pointing out that being a freshmen sucks.
When I was his age I promised myself that I would never forget how hard it was to be there. My mother and I had a lot of friction and I felt like she didn't get it. I felt like I couldn't confide in her about important things. She was kind of uptight (when I asked where babies came from she gave me a book about chickens?!?!?)
I've fostered this open relationship and I've truly made efforts to remember how I felt when I was that age. But one thing that I either forgot or didn't suffer was being abused as a freshman. I'm wondering if it's harder for boys than girls though- I know when I was in 9th grade it wasn't too bad. Girls are definitely more mature and they get more positive attention from the older kids (BOYS!) whereas the 9th grade boys are like nobodies since the older girls aren't interested and most of the girls their age are interested in the older boys. And again, that testosterone thing- he's a 6'2" big he man trapped in a 5'1" scrawny body- it must be frustrating. No hair on the legs, no hair on the upper lip or chest. And he and his friends to act kind of dorky sometimes-
So anyway, when does all this insanity stop?
Last edited by pirate girl; 12-13-2007 at 12:57 PM..
Reason: add
We're not there yet, but we have friends who have 3 kids who have gone through high school. The father always told the kids that all the krap that goes on in high school-- the cliques, the posturing, the race to be popular--all stops the minute you walk across the stage at graduation. And he's right. It instantly ceases to be important at that point.
You're doing a great job with your son and you've given him wonderful problem-solving skills. He'll be ok and you will too.
I know everyone has said not to talk to the coach but I would be tempted to talk to him without telling your son and just ask him to walk through the locker room during the time your son is having problems. If your son is using the equipment wrong he could point it out to him, and if he's using it right he could drop a compliment. Also, just having him walk through might settle the older guys down. You say the coach is a good guy and he ought to be able to pull it off without it looking like your son told his mama on the big boys. Again, I know that I'm in the minority on this, but it's something I would think about doing.
just ask him to walk through the locker room during the time your son is having problems. If your son is using the equipment wrong he could point it out to him, and if he's using it right he could drop a compliment. Also, just having him walk through might settle the older guys down. You say the coach is a good guy and he ought to be able to pull it off without it looking like your son told his mama on the big boys. Again, I know that I'm in the minority on this, but it's something I would think about doing.
Great idea!
I hate to bad mouth teachers but for the most part, ones I've been running into could care less about the kids. This is why I wonder if the coach or someone is actually in the room.
I had a meeting the other day. One guy that sees my daughter told me that her mind is racing a mile a minute & I wonder if your son is the same way? He also said that my daughter probably has no clue she says some things; that they just come out.
Once my son had the reality of leaving home (to got to college) hit him, he became the most pleasant person. A little . He's actually very pleasant to be around and I hadn't been able to say that in a long time.
You said being a Freshman sucked, we'll I throw 7th/8th grade in that too, so had an extra 2 years of it.
Keep hope for the next 3-4 years.
Looking back, so many of the attitudes that were getting him in trouble are the exact attitudes that we look for in entrepenuers and leaders. I am so glad we didn't squelch them - but it is hell getting them to learn how to use them appropriately and where the boundaries are. Let him learn and grow up.
OH no, my son knows exactly what he does. He's far from impulsive- when he was younger he really challenged his first grade teacher and we had him tested for ADD and we learned that he's actually of above average intelligence and not ADD at all- he's just stubborn and challenging and demanding of answers.
When we're arguing, he chastises me for interrupting him- he feels that he should be heard, no matter how ridiculous his mission may be. Since he was about 4 I realized that he wasn't typical- didn't buy into fantasty stories- always, always questioned things. He busted me for being the tooth fairy when he was six and was probably on only his third tooth. He had his doubts and he pretended to be asleep so when I went in to exchange the tooth for money he jumped up when I had my hand under his pillow and said "Aha, I caught you!" It was dark enough that I dropped to all fours and crawled out of the room without answering him. The next morning he mentioned what happened and I acted like I had no idea what he was talking about.
Well a couple months later he lost another tooth and didn't tell me- the next morning he came out holding the tooth saying that I must be the tooth fairy because he didn't tell me about the tooth and the tooth fairy didn't come. I told him that the tooth fairy is busy and she needs parents to call her to let her know when she needs to come.
He didn't buy it and instead told me to just give him the money.
I would speak to the coach without your son knowing it....
.....You might want to sit in with him to see how he reacts.. if he tries to tell the trainer how to do it or if he will be able to sit there and take direction..
Be careful with this advice. Don't smother him or make him mommy's little boy. Have him join a gym and then take him there and watch over him???? I'm not sure a freshman would want that level of babysitting - may turn him off more than help. Just be careful and let him grow into being a man - this is part of that learning.
PG I disagree. I am a coach and it sounds like this situation is out of control and could build long term negative effects on your son,s confidence. I think if you aproach the coach from a fact finding perspective, you might get a better handle on what is going on. Although you have a barrier of ages I assume this is a team sport and they are teammates.
One sure way for him to get acceptance is better performance in his play.
Sorry for the confusion... I was commenting on the idea of taking him to another Gym and watching over him... was not commenting on the idea of talking to the coach on the side...
Rose, HIF and Greenie- Thank you all. Thank you for getting it, thank you for seeing what I see in him and thank you for pointing out that being a freshmen sucks.
When I was his age I promised myself that I would never forget how hard it was to be there. My mother and I had a lot of friction and I felt like she didn't get it. I felt like I couldn't confide in her about important things. She was kind of uptight (when I asked where babies came from she gave me a book about chickens?!?!?)
I've fostered this open relationship and I've truly made efforts to remember how I felt when I was that age. But one thing that I either forgot or didn't suffer was being abused as a freshman. I'm wondering if it's harder for boys than girls though- I know when I was in 9th grade it wasn't too bad. Girls are definitely more mature and they get more positive attention from the older kids (BOYS!) whereas the 9th grade boys are like nobodies since the older girls aren't interested and most of the girls their age are interested in the older boys. And again, that testosterone thing- he's a 6'2" big he man trapped in a 5'1" scrawny body- it must be frustrating. No hair on the legs, no hair on the upper lip or chest. And he and his friends to act kind of dorky sometimes-
So anyway, when does all this insanity stop?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
