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Hi there. I am new here and worried about my daughter. Found out about this place from my sister and figured I give it shot and get some advice...
My daughter is 19 and whenever she isn't at work she is home all the time. She has no friends, never had a boyfriend, her social life is nonexistent. The only things she does is watch TV, read, write and wastes time on the computer. Nothing wrong with these things but they shouldn't be the ONLY things she does.
I tried to tell her to make friends with her co-workers and she just tells me no. When I ask why she says they aren't the kind of people she wants to be around. She says this about everyone! All throughout middle school, high school, whenever I'd suggest to invite a friend over she always has the same excuse. She says stuff like oh they're all the same, not her kind of people, etc.
I don't know what to do!! She wants to be alone all the time. At her age I was going out with my group of friends every night. I was never home. I started dating in 10th grade and here she is, graduated from high school and doesn't even have a guys number in her phone!
Has anyone else had this problem? How do I get her to be more social?
You cannot force anyone to be social and when she decides she needs or wants to be social she will.
She is legally an adult, leave her alone and let her figure out what she wants to do with her own life.
I would suggest you sit down with her and tell her she needs to start paying rent (if she doesn't now).
That way she has some financial responsibility.
I agree she sounds like an introvert. It's who she is. If you keep getting on her case to be more social, you're more or less saying "Something is wrong with you. You need to change." If she's not depressed, drop it. Encourage her to write more, and maybe help her find a good college program majoring in writing.
Trust me, as an introvert myself, telling her to be more social makes things worse. Accept her for who she is and she'll have an easier time accepting who she is and improving self esteem. She'll get the amount of socialization she needs on her own.
I think we can rule out Aspergers. It's not that she has trouble making friends, it's that she doesn't even want any.
But then again, The most unusual thing is that she seems to have no interest in guys at all. It's weird. Even the quiet kids I know have at least went on a few dates or shown interests, crushes, etc. Worries me.
And yes I am going to suggest to her about going to community college soon. Though it doesn't seem like you'd be able to do much with writing classes. What are the odds of becoming an author? Not looking too good.
The most unusual thing is that she seems to have no interest in guys at all. It's weird. Even the quiet kids I know have at least went on a few dates or shown interests, crushes, etc. Worries me.
And yes I am going to suggest to her about going to community college soon. Though it doesn't seem like you'd be able to do much with writing classes. What are the odds of becoming an author? Not looking too good.
Lots of people don't start dating young. Maybe she's gay or asexual too. Wouldn't you love her just the same?
Writing classes can lead to jobs in copywriting, journalism, advertising, editing... all things that are done every day as jobs. Becoming a novelist is not really a career choice that will lead to automatic self-sufficiency... at all. It's more something you do on the side while copywriting or whatever else you do.
I think we can rule out Aspergers. It's not that she has trouble making friends, it's that she doesn't even want any.
But then again, The most unusual thing is that she seems to have no interest in guys at all. It's weird. Even the quiet kids I know have at least went on a few dates or shown interests, crushes, etc. Worries me.
And yes I am going to suggest to her about going to community college soon. Though it doesn't seem like you'd be able to do much with writing classes. What are the odds of becoming an author? Not looking too good.
Your daughter may be extremely picky about who she'll date and that's okay. Some kids never are truly teenagers. They go from childhood to adulthood and the whole teenager stuff mystifies them but they don't want in on it.
Kids like that are kind of interesting. They are children and at the same time they're adults. They just aren't teenagers. If you're an adult in a teen's body then you won't find the company of teenagers with all their silly drama and stuff much to your liking, and you won't want to date them.
As they get into their 20's and their peers become adults, they get caught up and relate better to them. College and the workplace can be more socially interesting for them.
I was, and still am, straight, but for a variety of reasons (none of which are likely applicable to your daughter, so I won't mention them) I didn't date at that age, either. I evidenced no crushes, and nobody evidenced one for me. (There was one guy in college I had an awful crush on, but it was his senior year, so nothing came of it.)
A potential problem I do foresee, however, is the networking often necessary for employment. If she isolates herself too much, she may find herself unable to advance into more interesting work that she might later desire.
Does she have any interests beyond writing? Photography, antiques, birdwatching, sports, history, science, cooking--anything at all?
Hi there. I am new here and worried about my daughter. Found out about this place from my sister and figured I give it shot and get some advice...
My daughter is 19 and whenever she isn't at work she is home all the time. She has no friends, never had a boyfriend, her social life is nonexistent. The only things she does is watch TV, read, write and wastes time on the computer. Nothing wrong with these things but they shouldn't be the ONLY things she does.
I tried to tell her to make friends with her co-workers and she just tells me no. When I ask why she says they aren't the kind of people she wants to be around. She says this about everyone! All throughout middle school, high school, whenever I'd suggest to invite a friend over she always has the same excuse. She says stuff like oh they're all the same, not her kind of people, etc.
I don't know what to do!! She wants to be alone all the time. At her age I was going out with my group of friends every night. I was never home. I started dating in 10th grade and here she is, graduated from high school and doesn't even have a guys number in her phone!
Has anyone else had this problem? How do I get her to be more social?
Don't worry I was like this too. I had gone from about 2000 people to choose to associate with in high scho and only had one or two, then when everyone else went off to college and I stayed in town I did the same exact things your daughter did.
Don't worry she'll get new opportunities or a new job and she'll meet someone to be friends with and then that person will introduce her to people.
I've generally hated all my coworkers till my current job. They weren't usually my age and the people that were my age weren't like me enough it would work out as their friend.
My main issue was I couldn't find the type of people I wanted to associate with so I didn't try at all, I didn't want to. I didn't know where to go to find them so I didn't try.
Hi there. I am new here and worried about my daughter. Found out about this place from my sister and figured I give it shot and get some advice...
My daughter is 19 and whenever she isn't at work she is home all the time. She has no friends, never had a boyfriend, her social life is nonexistent. The only things she does is watch TV, read, write and wastes time on the computer. Nothing wrong with these things but they shouldn't be the ONLY things she does.
I tried to tell her to make friends with her co-workers and she just tells me no. When I ask why she says they aren't the kind of people she wants to be around. She says this about everyone! All throughout middle school, high school, whenever I'd suggest to invite a friend over she always has the same excuse. She says stuff like oh they're all the same, not her kind of people, etc.
I don't know what to do!! She wants to be alone all the time. At her age I was going out with my group of friends every night. I was never home. I started dating in 10th grade and here she is, graduated from high school and doesn't even have a guys number in her phone!
Has anyone else had this problem? How do I get her to be more social?
She may be antisocial which is fine and nothing abnormal... try taking her to social outings where she can meet people her age... weddings, friends house with single children, etc... hopefully she can click with someone she meets... otherwise, get outgoing cousins or other relatives around her age to take her out to clubs, friends, lunches, etc... she may just be extremely shy about developing relationships... and there is nothing wrong with her, people are all different and develop differently...
I would just be playful about her her activities, like a roughhousing soughta childish way, and then even mock yourself, while doing so.
Otherwise I would go outside to places, you feel your daughter "should" be going to, even if she does not. I mean any soughta place you have been, even if you had bad experiences.
Like school is alright, but you want to maybe see her going outside and dealing with life, with men.....is that is what you are saying, or go outside and deal with her business outside???
Also you say she is writing things? like what, but otherwise I would just ask her about her, and what and who she is, and just be playful about it, but never judgmental, unless you want to stress your opinion. Not to be judgmental and all.
Community college? If she is a real go-getter, she could do the running-man and go to a big four year college. Community college is for people who are unable to get into the regular four year schools, and their credits do not count to some degree requirements.
THat is my opinion on this
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