Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Would you want to sleep in a separate room from your husband while visiting somewhere? If you wouldn't then why should you expect your son to sleep separate from his partner.
They're not married.
Obviously, things like being married mean something to the op and her husband.
Op, it's his loss. What kind of an immature ninny can't keep it in his pants long enough to visit his parents a couple of times a year?
Stick to your guns.
Don't fall for all the malarkey here from posters who would have you disrespected in your own home.
"Obviously many here disagree." I would figure that should tell you something. I stand by my original position that the mother is only hurting her own self.
Her son is also hurting himself by not getting time with his family and siblings.
Wow, I guess I'm getting old because I am surprised by the responses here. Although I am not religous and wouldn't have a problem with the son and girlfriend sleeping together in my home, I absolutely support the parents who do not want to comprimize thier values in their own home. The son and girlfriend are, in my opinion being both selfish and immature. The parents should not be expected to bend the rule in their own home or be punished for it. They believe what they believe. There is nothing wrong witht that. Is it that big a deal to sleep in separate rooms for a few nights? Or are they standing on principle that the parents should respect their relationship? The parents can respect the relationship by treating the girlfriend with respect in their home. The son and daughter can respect the parents by accepting the parents moral values. If I were the parents I would say "fine, see have a great life".
They're not married.
Obviously, things like being married mean something to the op and her husband.
Op, it's his loss. What kind of an immature ninny can't keep it in his pants long enough to visit his parents a couple of times a year?
Stick to your guns.
Don't fall for all the malarkey here from posters who would have you disrespected in your own home.
Oh for crying out loud. The OP says she misses her son. She can stand by her convictions or stand by her son, that's the choice she's making.
As for calling the son an immature ninny, get a grip. He is a grown man who has made a decision. You may not approve of it but calling him names doesn't help matters any.
As for being disrespected in her own home, she has drawn this silly line in the sand and is not respecting the choices her son has made. She may want him to snap to and follow her rules and regulations for life, but that train has left the station.
Wow, I guess I'm getting old because I am surprised by the responses here. Although I am not religous and wouldn't have a problem with the son and girlfriend sleeping together in my home, I absolutely support the parents who do not want to comprimize thier values in their own home. The son and girlfriend are, in my opinion being both selfish and immature. The parents should not be expected to bend the rule in their own home or be punished for it. They believe what they believe. There is nothing wrong witht that. Is it that big a deal to sleep in separate rooms for a few nights? Or are they standing on principle that the parents should respect their relationship? The parents can respect the relationship by treating the girlfriend with respect in their home. The son and daughter can respect the parents by accepting the parents moral values. If I were the parents I would say "fine, see have a great life".
The mother is not saying, "Fine. Have a great life." She wants the son to visit more.
Telling the son he is immature and selfish and to zip it up and follow the rules is not going to get him to spend the night there. He's made that clear.
My son is 26 years old. We don't want him to share room because it is a bad example to other kids here and it is against our morals.
If he live with his girlfriend, then why can't they just spend a few nights sleeping in separate bed?
Sorry, but you're wrong in this one. He's a full grown adult in a monogamous, committed relationship. For all intents and purposes, they are married. They simply haven't gone through the formalities. This is very common today. I lived with my husband for well over 10 years before getting married, and we only did it then for the health insurance. There is nothing immoral about their relationship or their sleeping arrangements. You live in this country and chose to raise your child in this country. You have taken advantage of all this country has to offer, that your previous home did not. Now you must accept American culture if you want to spend time with your child. In the USA today, it is common and acceptable for adults to live together, even have children together, without actually getting married. By that same token, make sure you treat his girlfriend with the same respect you would treat a wife. She may very well become the mother of your grandchildren, and your son has already made it clear that he will not tolerate nothing less.
You might be disappointed in his behavior, but I think he's pretty awesome to stand up to you and stand by his girlfriend no matter what. You must have raised him right no matter what you think.
Her son is also hurting himself by not getting time with his family and siblings.
Maybe. But maybe he's doing just fine. Maybe he is developing family bonds with his girlfriend's family. Maybe he's had his fill of self-righteous, judgmental attitudes and is enjoying a different take on family relationships.
Sorry, but you're wrong in this one. He's a full grown adult in a monogamous, committed relationship. For all intents and purposes, they are married. They simply haven't gone through the formalities. This is very common today. I lived with my husband for well over 10 years before getting married, and we only did it then for the health insurance. There is nothing immoral about their relationship or their sleeping arrangements. You live in this country and chose to raise your child in this country. You have taken advantage of all this country has to offer, that your previous home did not. Now you must accept American culture if you want to spend time with your child. In the USA today, it is common and acceptable for adults to live together, even have children together, without actually getting married. By that same token, make sure you treat his girlfriend with the same respect you would treat a wife. She may very well become the mother of your grandchildren, and your son has already made it clear that he will not tolerate nothing less.
You might be disappointed in his behavior, but I think he's pretty awesome to stand up to you and stand by his girlfriend no matter what. You must have raised him right no matter what you think.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,775,771 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4
Her son is also hurting himself by not getting time with his family and siblings.
Did you not read the part where the son was willing to do a visit, just sleep elsewhere?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
