Need perspective on sports in Elementary School (girl, classes, 14 yr old)
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I think 3x a week is a perfect way to keep kids busy and engaged.
What the heck do your (general you) kids do if this is too much? That leaves plenty of time for kids to have unstructured play outside with friends (or are they not allowed that either?) and read and do chores etc etc....have a day for a service group (scouts, explorers, even a church youth group if you are into that or dance lessons).
It's been years since mine was that age....but certainly her and all her friends had more going on than this.
Most of the kids featured in those articles started out like the OP's kid is starting out: very young with three days a week, then five in 1st or 2nd grade. That's how it starts.
It sounds like you have never been around any kind of sports. Your description sounds like someone describing addiction issues. Millions of kids are participating in sports every year. The overwhelming majority do just fine. Most play until they reach a point where they are no longer competitive or find a different sport.
I think 3x a week is a perfect way to keep kids busy and engaged.
What the heck do your (general you) kids do if this is too much? That leaves plenty of time for kids to have unstructured play outside with friends (or are they not allowed that either?) and read and do chores etc etc....have a day for a service group (scouts, explorers, even a church youth group if you are into that or dance lessons).
It's been years since mine was that age....but certainly her and all her friends had more going on than this.
Kids need downtime. So do adults. With what you've described, there is no downtime, especially if both parents work, or if there is more than one kid in the family.
We've done just what the OP described x 2 kids and it was a little bit of a nightmare, and there was not scouts or dance or anything else involved.
5:00 dad picked up kids (how many dad have that luxury?), drives home (down the street), throws school stuff in the house, grabs snacks, waters, gets kids changed into soccer gear
5:20 dad and kids leave for practice, kid 1 practices 5:45-7:00
6:00 mom arrives at practice, takes kid 2 home, starts homework and making dinner, and barking orders at kid 2 "pack snacks! pack your homework! fill a water bottle". Kid 2 may get a little downtime between homework and dinner, but not much, and no other kids are outside playing because it is dinner time or they are at practice.
7:25 Dad and Kid 1 arrive home, we finally sit down to eat dinner.
7:45 dinner is over, kid 1 starts homework with dad while mom does dishes. Kid 2 finishes chores
8:15 kid 2 goes to bed, kid 1 finishes homework (maybe) and starts to pack snacks, water, papers for tomorrow.
8:30 - it is bed time and kid 1 hasn't showered. We're lucky if homework is done and bag is packed, and all he really wants to do is watch TV for a few minutes.
Repeat tomorrow except kid 2 has practice and dad is coach, so he spends an extra 15 minutes on either side pf practice setting up, taking down, making sure kids all have rides, etc. That was four days per week that season. Only on Friday did the kids play outside with neighbors, and did we eat before 7:30pm. Bed time was almost out the window for those weeks. At the very least, it was pushed 15-30 minutes later nightly.
Forget about a date night or any other family fun like a museum or day trip during the season. There was simply no time. Weekends were spent driving to and watching games, grocery shopping, and doing laundry.
Remember that the OP is talking about a 5 year old who is just out of the nap stage and still adjusting to all day school.
Kids need downtime. So do adults. With what you've described, there is no downtime, especially if both parents work, or if there is more than one kid in the family.
We've done just what the OP described x 2 kids and it was a little bit of a nightmare, and there was not scouts or dance or anything else involved.
5:00 dad picked up kids (how many dad have that luxury?), drives home (down the street), throws school stuff in the house, grabs snacks, waters, gets kids changed into soccer gear
5:20 dad and kids leave for practice, kid 1 practices 5:45-7:00
6:00 mom arrives at practice, takes kid 2 home, starts homework and making dinner, and barking orders at kid 2 "pack snacks! pack your homework! fill a water bottle". Kid 2 may get a little downtime between homework and dinner, but not much, and no other kids are outside playing because it is dinner time or they are at practice.
7:25 Dad and Kid 1 arrive home, we finally sit down to eat dinner.
7:45 dinner is over, kid 1 starts homework with dad while mom does dishes. Kid 2 finishes chores
8:15 kid 2 goes to bed, kid 1 finishes homework (maybe) and starts to pack snacks, water, papers for tomorrow.
8:30 - it is bed time and kid 1 hasn't showered. We're lucky if homework is done and bag is packed, and all he really wants to do is watch TV for a few minutes.
Repeat tomorrow except kid 2 has practice and dad is coach, so he spends an extra 15 minutes on either side pf practice setting up, taking down, making sure kids all have rides, etc. That was four days per week that season. Only on Friday did the kids play outside with neighbors, and did we eat before 7:30pm. Bed time was almost out the window for those weeks. At the very least, it was pushed 15-30 minutes later nightly.
Forget about a date night or any other family fun like a museum or day trip during the season. There was simply no time. Weekends were spent driving to and watching games, grocery shopping, and doing laundry.
Remember that the OP is talking about a 5 year old who is just out of the nap stage and still adjusting to all day school.
I think it depends on the kid....I know of no 5 year old just out of the nap stage. Most give it up YEARS before that. I am really shocked that a parent thinks a young elementary student is so fragile they can't handle this.
I think it depends on the kid....I know of no 5 year old just out of the nap stage. Most give it up YEARS before that. I am really shocked that a parent thinks a young elementary student is so fragile they can't handle this.
I had to work to cut my son's naps after he turned 4, but given half a chance he will still pass out during the day.
And as for young elementary students not being able to handle several days a week of organized sports, of course they can, but is it best for them?
Kids "these days," get far too little unstructured, free play time, and you hear all these arguments that it's dangerous to leave kids to themselves, they could be abducted, or hurt on the jungle gym, or get into conflict with one of their playmates, or don't know how to get involved in free play with other children. You'll hear people say that structured activities are good to get kids to interact "safely," and maybe so, but adults dealing with major conflict and bullying aside, free play is often the best way for kids to learn these valuable life lessons.
I've watched my son, from the age of just over 3, play freely with kids in our neigborhood, some of them 5+ years older than he is, and he's learned how to socially integrate himself into play, he's gotten into, and out of conflicts, negotiated, compromised and cooperated, shared, explored, evaluated risks, problem solved, learned and strengthened gross and fine motor skills, engaged in imaginative play and physical games as well, learned fair play and teamwork and has grown in leaps and bounds because of that free play. I occasionally have to bite my tongue and sit on my hands when I see him struggling at times, especially socially, but you know what, he figures it out. They all do.
Sure, he could play an organized sport, and would probably enjoy it, but I still think he's not losing out on much, and is gaining a lot, by just being allowed to play and do his own thing. That won't change until he's older and wants to pursue a sport of his own volition.
I think it depends on the kid....I know of no 5 year old just out of the nap stage. Most give it up YEARS before that. I am really shocked that a parent thinks a young elementary student is so fragile they can't handle this.
They CAN handle it. Do they WANT to? do the parents? There comes a point when it isn't fun, it is just too much. A lot of kids give up naps at 4. Maybe this kid just turned 5.
This whole thread is a fascinating cultural window for me. I'm English; my kids were born there and we also lived in Switzerland whilst they were elementary age. In Europe, it is simply unheard of for kids so young to be participating in something 3+ times a week, at a 'competitive' level. Sports clubs and extracurricular activities for kids start at 1st grade age, around 6, and even then would just be a once a week thing, rising to perhaps twice a week as the child gets to around age 8 or so if they're really keen, and just do this one thing.
Kids in the UK are in full-time, fully academic school, with homework/ spellings/ math facts/ etc from age 4; that's honestly all they can cope with at that age, and many even then are sobbing and exhausted by Thursday as there's just been Too Much Week. (Off-topic mini-rant: my personal opinion is that 'sit still at a desk and write' school from age 4 is a ridiculous idea that all child development studies refute as sensible, but because it's convenient daycare for working parents, everyone goes 'la la la' and sticks their fingers in their ears, even when 5 and 6 yr old boys are branded 'reading failures' at an age where most of the world hasn't even started teaching them yet.) Clubs start from around age 7, except for swimming and dance classes, which usually take them from age 3 or 4, but only once a week, for about 45 mins, for what are clearly play activities. Most are 'after-school clubs' on school premises, that run from, say, 3.15-4pm, once a week, for a nominal charge.
Switzerland (and the rest of mainland Europe) takes a different tack - non-academic, part-time school from 4-6, to develop motor skills and socialisation, then full-time from 1st grade. All schools close at noon on Wednesdays, and THAT's when the majority of sports take place, in the Wed afternoon slot. The norm there is to do a Wed afternoon sport such as soccer or a gym class, but for the younger kids it's still only for fun. Such classes are held at the school, or in a nearby community facility where the kids get themselves there and back; team sports might have the occasional Saturday morning match as a sort of 'show and tell' for parents.
Overall, then, kids' participation in sports under the age of about 10 is low-key and once a week, isn't really something that affects the adults in their life, and certainly doesn't require timetabling family around it.
I have kids 10 and 14, and here we do karate as a family. The 10 yr old does a 6.30-7.30pm class twice a week; the 14 yr old and I do the class straight afterwards, from 7.30-8.30pm; the younger one is either collected by dad, or brings a book/ homework and waits for us to finish. The karate studio is less than 10 mins drive from my house. (Incidentally, I really rate martial arts as a family activity - even though the classes are split by age, we're all the same belt, learning the same material, and my teen son and I have the advantage of it being very bonding at an age when moms and sons are typically losing common ground).
I see this as as much extracurricular we can fit in without everyone getting stressed and cross, and putting burdensome demands on our evenings as regards meals/ homework/ bedtimes/ relaxing.
People with more than one kid - how are you managing these sort of commitments?! Do you ever resent the pressures it puts on your family; do your kids? I have a friend with kids of 8 and 10; the older one can be left for an hour or two whilst his sister gets taken to her swimming and so on, but the younger sister is constantly dragged to her older brother's classes so is effectively doing a double-shift in terms of missing out on hanging with neighbourhood friends or getting in some down time for herself. She is NOT happy with this arrangement!
I was lucky; we had two girls and they both did gymnastics. When they were little, they did go at different times but the gym was close by (~2 mi.); we carpooled some and in summer they could ride their bikes once they got old enough.
I think it depends on the kid....I know of no 5 year old just out of the nap stage. Most give it up YEARS before that. I am really shocked that a parent thinks a young elementary student is so fragile they can't handle this.
I guess you said what I said. Some parents can't handle it and that is another issue. IMO it is important for kids to try different things when they are young. What they try should be their decision. It is up to the parents to make sure that the child's schedule suits the child. I think that parents need to make the sacrifice IF IT IS WHAT THE CHILD ENJOYS.
Kids who really love sports will thrive on 2-3X a week practice. If they hate it then the parents should move them to a different activity. Sports is not a requirement of childhood. However, it can really be a pleasure for those who love it.
Kids in the UK are in full-time, fully academic school, with homework/ spellings/ math facts/ etc from age 4; that's honestly all they can cope with at that age, and many even then are sobbing and exhausted by Thursday as there's just been Too Much Week. (Off-topic mini-rant: my personal opinion is that 'sit still at a desk and write' school from age 4 is a ridiculous idea that all child development studies refute as sensible, but because it's convenient daycare for working parents, everyone goes 'la la la' and sticks their fingers in their ears, even when 5 and 6 yr old boys are branded 'reading failures' at an age where most of the world hasn't even started teaching them yet.) Clubs start from around age 7, except for swimming and dance classes, which usually take them from age 3 or 4, but only once a week, for about 45 mins, for what are clearly play activities. Most are 'after-school clubs' on school premises, that run from, say, 3.15-4pm, once a week, for a nominal charge.
This is precisely why my kids really thrived in sports. They needed a time when they were not asked to 'sit still at a desk and write.' Around here most of the sports that take the younger kids aren't really competitive in the adult sense of the word. They do play organized games but there usually are no playoffs or anything for the younger ones. The emphasis is on playing at that age.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kodokan
People with more than one kid - how are you managing these sort of commitments?! Do you ever resent the pressures it puts on your family; do your kids? I have a friend with kids of 8 and 10; the older one can be left for an hour or two whilst his sister gets taken to her swimming and so on, but the younger sister is constantly dragged to her older brother's classes so is effectively doing a double-shift in terms of missing out on hanging with neighbourhood friends or getting in some down time for herself. She is NOT happy with this arrangement!
I never really had a problem with it. When one had a practice the others would go to the park where the practice was being held and play with the players' siblings at the park. If they wanted to have a friend I would simply take the friend with us to the park (with the parent's permission). I guess swimming and other indoor sports are more difficult to manage but when practice is outdoors at a park the other kids play outdoors at the park instead of in our yard. I didn't see it as a big problem and the kids never complained about it. They grew up at our local park and had plenty of time playing outdoors.
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