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Before WWII, only the rich went to college. We weren't rich. My dad died at age 34 and left my mom to raise 2 sons. She became the first in the family to go to college. It took her 11 years to get her degree, but she got a great job with the state afterwards, and our lives improved when we were older.
I have family who went to community college only, then went to work for the post office and made a very good wage. I have family who left high school and made a good lving mowing lawns all summer and plowing driveways all winter. I got a scholarship for undergrad, and paid for my own master's. I ran a business of my own for many years, and supported a family of two daughters.
None of these people ever felt they'd be better off if they hadn't been born. We all took what life handed us, worked with it, did well, and thanked our lucky stars that we HAD been born!
I can't believe people have children without having saved up enough money to buy their kids a house each. I mean talk about complete abrogation of your parental duties. The kid needs a house to live right? Before anything else, expect clothes, food and water, they need their own house. I cannot connect with such "parents" on any level, just unfathomable.
I can't believe people have children without having saved up enough money to buy their kids a house each. I mean talk about complete abrogation of your parental duties. The kid needs a house to live right? Before anything else, expect clothes, food and water, they need their own house. I cannot connect with such "parents" on any level, just unfathomable.
Man, that's some overt sarcasm! Well played, sir!
I mean, while we are at it, shouldn't be just go ahead and sterilize anyone that earns less than 250,000 per year? Hahaha...
I pay my way through college, parents never helped. My job experience is by far that of any of my peers. I worked the whole time through college. I laugh at kids who have the easy life, they will make good bean counters for my businesses.
Last time I checked, parents are not required by law to provide a college education for their children.
Some can do it, some cannot or choose not to.
My parents charged me rent, and I paid for everything. However, they also assisted with my college tuition (I worked to pay part, and got scholarships as well). But yes, absolutely they charged me rent. My parents didn't raise me to be a freeloader.
If my kids opt to live at home and attend community college, I will expect them to work in addition to taking classes and yes, I'll expect them to pay rent. Not a lot - maybe $100 a month - but enough for them to begin learning about personal responsibility and taking care of themselves.
You say people have kids without expecting to provide for them or their future. Um. I happily provide for my children while they are minors, but once my kids reach ADULTHOOD, why should I provide for them and their future? They are adults. Time to leave the nest and make their own way.
And with any luck I'll have raised them to be independent thinkers and doers who WANT to leave the nest and begin creating a future for themselves.
If they don't, THEN I have failed as a parent.
I couldn't have said better. Both of my parents were middle classed and while they did pay for some of my college tuition, there is no way that they could afford to pay all or mostly all. NYU was over $20k per year in 1993, probably double that now. Even with their contribution, I had to work two meager work study jobs and I had a scholarship and I would NEVER think to complain about the job that they did or whether they were qualified to bring me into the world.
We will save something but the amount of that something is up to us and I think it is rather arrogant of the OP to dictate how much someone should contribute. After 18, I don't owe my kids anything. Whatever I do, it is out of the love of my heart. At 18, I was very independent and I bought my own condo at 21. My mother taught me well, thank you very much.
I think the entire concept, or at least the expectation, of the parent(s) paying for college is ridiculous.
The current system of dependent and independent student is idiotic. One student is declared dependent, while another just because of some issue like being married, is now independent and can gain access to student loans.
It is idiotic because the system puts the burden on a student who has absolutely zero control over what their parent(s) do. Yet if that same student is married, has a kid, etc, they are magically declared "independent".
You are directly putting your kid at a distinct disadvantage. Why do you feel that passing along your genes is so important that you are willing to hurt your child's chances at a good life?
Bwahhhhhhaaaaa...."I am putting my kids at a distinct advantage!" Really.
I recall the conversation I had with my parents about college. It was quite in depth, and yet I still remember it, word for word, to this very day: "If you think we are going to pay for you to go to college, you've got another thing coming."
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Originally Posted by stellastar2345
If I have a child, I don't want to limit them because I can't afford the basic necessities (college is a necessity of the modern world, in my opinion).
Basic shelter and food...baked potatoes/pasta/lettuce are necessitates. A pair of jeans and a shirt are necessities. I assure you, college is a privilege ; not a necessity. Try explaining that to the 50 Million people receivning some form of public assistance and see if they don't laugh in your face.
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Originally Posted by NEOhioBound
No one paid for my college. I am not going to pay for my child's. Wanting your kid to succeed doesn't mean that you pay their way for it.
I paid for my education.....through college and a very fine graduate school. I also worked at least 40 hours per week. And I graduated with honors. I helped my children, but I didn't pay anywhere near the whole nut. They had scholarships, and grants. There are literally thousands of grants out there from every imaginable organization. Literally, to get many of them all you have to do is write a letter, fill out an application, or express some genuine interest in their cause. Of course, this does put quite a burden on many high school students...having to write a letter and all.
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Originally Posted by wac_432
Agree that parents should pay for college, thats why 90% of our household goods/clothes are from the thrift store. Any degree you can earn with a high GPA while "working your way through" isn't worth a hill of beans.
The op is going to be one sad puppy when he realizes that HIS kid's tuition (20 some years from now) is going to be in the ballpark of 350,000, not 50k.
My Masters degree came form a top ten school.....and the Big Four Accounting firm that hired me out of school didn't think my education was worth less than a "hill of beans".
BTW, people have been saying for generations, "wait till your kids go to school; tuition is going to be 10 times more than it is now". It still hasn't happened, and most schools offer substantial financial assistance before you even talk about loans. One of my children had $16,000 knocked off the annual tuition right off the bat....."scholarship".
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Originally Posted by MordinSolus
Parents who don't start a college fund for their children early are irresponsible. You can say "what if you don't make enough money?" but that's the entire point of saving. A little bit at a time, over a long period adds up to more than a little bit. $50 a month for 18 years adds up to almost $11,000. That would be a huge boon for a college student.
And isn't the whole point of raising kids making their lives better than yours? If you can't afford to help your children then why did you have them in the first place?
We'll see if/when you become a parent. My guess is that with every yougin in the world today "wanting" the latest I-phone, fashion, car, fancy apartment, etc, saving regularly for their child's college education is going to take a very low priority.
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Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
There is no way I will help an adult child with any college expenses if they're not working part time. They need to have some skin in the game.
You nailed it. It is simply amazing how focused a child can become when their pay check is going to pay for their education. Suddenly a four year degree can be completed in four years; that "must have" class on "therapeutic ceiling painting for ADHD challenged children" is no longer a necessity. Skin in the game gets people's attention real quickly. Their attention is improved; their grades are better; and their ability to procure a job because they have some inkling of the real world are just wonderful additional benefits of having the child pay some of their own freight.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RosemaryT
When my eldest hit her late 20s, she saw the writing on the wall and left a $50,000 a year job (retail/sales) to finish her college degree. She worked several part-time jobs and put herself through college.
Eight years later, she's now moving up the corporate ladder at an international company and I am so very proud of her. Seems like she gets raises every 90 days, and she says, "Mom, they keep telling me that I'm the best worker in the whole place. I'm not. I just do my job, show up every day, and I strive to avoid foolish mistakes."
IMHO, that's the reason kids should put themselves through college. It teaches hard lessons about the work ethic that will carry them far in this world.
It's called the real world. Kids can do very well in it....but when mom and dad give their 'exceptional' child a free ride through it, they are sending a very inappropriate message.
So far I've learned that students that don't work while in school have 2.0 GPAs, they are lazy and don't study and their degrees are in something like English or Communications. Once they graduate they will work at Starbucks for at least 5 years, live in their parents basement and have half a million in student loan debt. Meanwhile, all students who work will graduate in 3.5 years with a 3.95 GPA in Engineering of some sort, no debt and guaranteed a job.
No one paid for my college. I am not going to pay for my child's. Wanting your kid to succeed doesn't mean that you pay their way for it.
Don't you want better for your child than what you had?
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