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Where I work we are pet friendly, and actually prefer dogs coming into the store more than kids........in fact, we hate it when families bring kids in there. 99% of the time the Parents go off shopping and leave the kids on their own, and that is when the mayhem begins. They mess up all the inventory , run up and down the aisles like wild animals, and are very disruptive. All the while the Parents are oblivious to all this going on.
I was helping a Father one day and during this his little girl was destroying everything on the shelves. He didn't even care, and I finally couldn't take it any more, and said to him, "I feel sorry for you when she turns 16." When he asked why, I said, "Because if you have no control over her now you are in for real trouble when she gets that age !" He got PO'd and left............GOOD !
My own Sons are grown, but when they were young they were always watched when we went places. They knew how to behave, and I was quick to remind them when they forgot. Even when they were 6 months old I could take them into a restaurant, sit them in their little chairs, and they would sit there and eat without fussing. Waitresses would come up and say "What have you done to these kids ? They are actually behaving !"
It starts when they are young, and it is an every day, 24 hour a day responsibility as a good Parent to teach your kids right from wrong, respect, and how to act in public. If you don't do that you are setting them up for a terrible life. I was a strict Father, and my two Sons thank me for it quite often because they know I did it because I love them and I wanted them to be good men when they grew up............and they are exactly that.
Originally Posted by Murk There is no time off for parenting. You're simply not allowed to be too tired or too stressed or too anything to keep parenting.
I have to very emphatically disagree with that. I don't know that it applies here, and it certainly doesn't mean it's okay to let your child be a brat and a nuisance to others, but I don't like the idea--and I very emphatically disagree with it--that you are never allowed any reprieve from parenting ever when you NEED it. To me, at a certain point, you NEED a short break as much as you need oxygen, especially if you are stressed and cranky. You have to take care of yourself too, in fact, some argue you have to take care of yourself FIRST before you can take care of your child, and frankly I tend to agree with that.
This is absolutely NOT what I said. Knowing when you can have someone else watch your kid when or if you need a break IS good parenting. Bad parenting or no parenting is taking a break from parenting when you have not provided a reasonable and effective alternative to you. You aren't allowed to do that, in my opinion. Ever.
Our kids had a hard time sitting for long in a restaurant or other places. If we took them places, it was either geared for kids (McD's) or we hired a sitter and went out for a quiet meal.
I've always felt that other people shouldn't have to listen to someone else's kids acting up.
If ours acted up while waiting for appointments, at least I tried to keep them busy. Seeing parents ignore poor behaviour makes me think that their kids are even more ignored at home. Poor kids.
I generally don't mind other people's out of control kids (unless they're screaming, which hurts my ears), often they amuse me, and the rest of the time I just feel sorry for the parents. I hate it when my kid is playing up though. She's generally pretty good and usually when she plays up the threat of a time out or taking away of a treat will get her under control but at the moment we're going through a tough phase (bossy and violent tantrums) and its pretty horrid to take her out anywhere in public so I'm avoiding it as much as I can until we're past this phase but sometimes I have to take her out (had to take her to a house viewing on Saturday, desperation led to bribery ) and I really hope people aren't judging too much, I'm embarrassed enough as it is.
I am; Thanks. But I am a stay at home mom! So, I "can" teach my kids "public place manners" along with all sorts of other things daycares don't teach.
I would say this: PARENTS: STOP PAYING DAYCARES, and DEMAND BETTER WAGES so at least 1 of you stays home and brings up responsible, well mannered adults into this world.
"Multiplying" is easy, multiplying smart is rare & it takes work!
Photo, I applaud you for believing that teaching your children manners and responsibility is a priority.
But, honestly, I think it has little to do with being a stay-at-home parent. My own mom usually worked when I was growing up, and she DEMANDED her children be well-mannered and respectful. I never would have even thought about behaving the way so many kids behave now (and I'm talking about kids who are old enough to know better, not toddlers or preschoolers).
Where we used to live, the vast majority of the moms were SAHMs, and the vast majority of their kids were poorly-mannered, entitled little princes and princesses. Teaching kids manners has little to do with anything but what parents consider to be important.
Photo, I applaud you for believing that teaching your children manners and responsibility is a priority.
But, honestly, I think it has little to do with being a stay-at-home parent. My own mom usually worked when I was growing up, and she DEMANDED her children be well-mannered and respectful. I never would have even thought about behaving the way so many kids behave now (and I'm talking about kids who are old enough to know better, not toddlers or preschoolers).
Where we used to live, the vast majority of the moms were SAHMs, and the vast majority of their kids were poorly-mannered, entitled little princes and princesses. Teaching kids manners has little to do with anything but what parents consider to be important.
I would do the same if I was working.
However, I noticed that other working parents fall into a deep guilt and don't discipline at all. That's a problem.
It starts when they are young, and it is an every day, 24 hour a day responsibility as a good Parent to teach your kids right from wrong, respect, and how to act in public. If you don't do that you are setting them up for a terrible life. I was a strict Father, and my two Sons thank me for it quite often because they know I did it because I love them and I wanted them to be good men when they grew up............and they are exactly that.
Don
You have my highest respect for stating this. Parenting is a labor of love and sons like yours are the reward.
peep
How do you think they learn to become unruly teenagers? By being allowed to run amok and being excused for being "just kids".
Ye s, I was once a kid, and during that time my parents were training me to become a responsible adult.
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) and I really hope people aren't judging too much, I'm embarrassed enough as it is.
