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I wouldn't punish him, but I would also not allow phone usage at all in the school day. When playing games, they aren't having the social interaction they need. And clearly there is an addictive issue to phones, they are also almost as private as a diary these days.
I wouldn't read him the riot act, I would just talk to him.
Based on your discussion and his reaction, I would not punish him at home also. If he is a smart kid, he understands why this was unacceptable.
I do have a concern about him "impulsively" biting, especially at this age.
If you wrote "impulsively" in order to portray the behavior here as a one-time thing, I kind of understand that. But if biting was his impulse, as in his uncontrollable reaction, that is troublesome. It is assault, and the fact that it could draw blood would get him into very serious trouble in other circumstances.
Has he EVER done anything like that before? Did he talk to you about the biting?
Not when it comes to video games and phones. Seriously, there is something about those things. I took my foster daughters phone away, she slapped me across the face and took off power walking for 5 hours until her feet bled. Now THAT is overboard.
An impulsive bite over a phone...being it is such a personal item...biting is a very primitive response to being trapped...and the boy is only in 6th grade, clearly feels ashamed and bad...its in the norm of human experience.
I've seen grown men fight over video games.
Still, knowing how he is triggered by his phone, I'd put controls on it so he can't do anything with it until school is out (besides call mom). I'm disgusted by school districts who decided they would let the kids be babysat at lunch by phones.
I would say everything is fine and you don't need to do anything else...if the story went that they got into a scuffle and he pushed or even punched the other kid. Biting, however, is an odd reaction and is completely unacceptable on multiple levels outside of a "life or death" kind of struggle. I would have a long conversation about why he bit and make sure he understands never to do that again.
I have a 6th grade boy. Honestly I can't even imagine him biting another child. That seems to show very poor impulse control. Second, why give a 6th grader a smart phone? If he truly needs a phone, get one that can only make calls. I agree w/ another poster who said this can hinder healthy social interaction and lead to unhealthy dependence and addictions.
Not when it comes to video games and phones. Seriously, there is something about those things. I took my foster daughters phone away, she slapped me across the face and took off power walking for 5 hours until her feet bled. Now THAT is overboard.
An impulsive bite over a phone...being it is such a personal item...biting is a very primitive response to being trapped...and the boy is only in 6th grade, clearly feels ashamed and bad...its in the norm of human experience.
I've seen grown men fight over video games.
That doesn't make it right.
I understand the reaction. The phone is like the command center for every tween's public image. It contains EVERYTHING that matters to most of them these days: photos, social media gateways, contacts, etc. I understand why he would panic.
But the biting is over the top. He cannot do that, regardless of what primal feelings come over him. That's what the mom needs to discuss.
The school can do what ours does and block internet access for all unapproved websites.
If the school has approved the use of cell phones during lunch, then the OP's son having one isn't the problem. It might be a problem if he was the only one without a phone while the others were glued to their screens. I personally think it's a stupid policy. Kids should be encouraged to use the time to interact with each other. However, that's something that needs to be changed at the administrative level.
I think the biting was no more than a reaction to a hand that wouldn't give up the phone. Unless it's a regular thing, no reason to assume this boy acted out of anything but frustration to loosen a hand. I know the school won't tell a parent if the other child was disciplined, but if the rule is games only, and he was taking pictures, he should have been.
I don't think a blanket policy of parents not punishing for bad behavior that is handled by the school is a good one either. If a kid mouths off to a teacher, or skips classes, there would be repercussions at my home. In this case though, it sounds as though the ISS is enough.
While I agree biting is unusual, what I hear is he had a major primal fight or flight reaction. Play keep away with a 6th grade girls diary and see how she reacts. Its the same thing. The only physical fight I was ever in was something similarly personal, we pulled hair. LOL
But...I think the key points are
He was punished in school
He feels great remorse
But as an aside, my kids know my rules are sometimes different then others. While we follow the schools rules, if they go against a core belief, I expect them to follow mine. That is where no smart phone of video games in school comes in.
The school can do what ours does and block internet access for all unapproved websites.
Every parent has different "unapproved" websites. Also, with a smart phone you usually don't need to log into the school's Internet to access whatever you want. (i.e., the school blocking sites cannot be relied upon. )
Every parent has different "unapproved" websites. Also, with a smart phone you usually don't need to log into the school's Internet to access whatever you want. (i.e., the school blocking sites cannot be relied upon. )
Our district uses network filters, and all internet must be accessed through the filter. Middle-schoolers are not supposed to have their phones out during class.
Students sign an acceptable use agreement at the beginning of the year and know that their device can be taken up at any time.
If it were my son (and I have 3), I would have punished him. All official punishments come from parents. If one of mine had to suffer from an unofficial one too, well... that's too damn bad. Don't act like an idiot at school and you don't have to worry about it.
However, I hope both sets of parents realize that their children don't need cell phones since they don't know what to do with them.
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