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Birthday parties have gotten ridiculous. When I throw a party for my kids it is a few close friends. I would not invite the whole class bcs I do not want my kids to have this expectation of a huge, expensive blowout. We always have a fun time and this way we don't get 30 gifts, either. Last year my daughter wanted a sleepover and I definitely was not having a dozen screaming girls in my house!
Honestly i would not want to be friends with either set of parents.
I think it's a feature of modern life that somehow $25x20 kids = $500 bday parties is considered normal and expected DEFAULT behavior.
If you can't afford a couple no-shows, don't put on such a expensive event. fresh cut fruit tray, hot dogs, cake, paper hats & bubble wands at the local park... kids should love it. You spending $50/head is a Conspicuous Consumption event meant to impress the other Social Climber parents, not the kids.
But sending an invoice is what blows everyone away as crass, and dont expect anyone to RSVP YES again. I hope you're happy with the outcome.
I think it's a feature of modern life that somehow $25x20 kids = $500 bday parties is considered normal and expected DEFAULT behavior.
If you can't afford a couple no-shows, don't put on such a expensive event. fresh cut fruit tray, hot dogs, cake, paper hats & bubble wands at the local park... kids should love it. You spending $50/head is a Conspicuous Consumption event meant to impress the other Social Climber parents, not the kids.
But sending an invoice is what blows everyone away as crass, and dont expect anyone to RSVP YES again. I hope you're happy with the outcome.
I'm trying to figure out why some posters are blaming this on inviting the whole class, or having an expensive party. Nowhere does it indicate that the whole class was invited, and, assuming the invoice was for the cost of one person to attend this party, it was $22. That's not a lot. Even a party at home with cake, ice cream, paper plates, games, and a few favors and decorations will add up to $20 or so per kid.
I think the parents of the birthday boy are making a point, not trying to recoup costs they couldn't afford.
I'm trying to figure out why some posters are blaming this on inviting the whole class, or having an expensive party. Nowhere does it indicate that the whole class was invited, and, assuming the invoice was for the cost of one person to attend this party, it was $22. That's not a lot. Even a party at home with cake, ice cream, paper plates, games, and a few favors and decorations will add up to $20 or so per kid.
I think the parents of the birthday boy are making a point, not trying to recoup costs they couldn't afford.
Except they're threatening to take them to Small Claims Court if they don't pay.
It doesn't make sense though because the contract was between the ski place and the birthday party parents. So the ski place can't go after Alex's parents. And the birthday parents can't sue Alex's parents for anything since the invoice is claiming to be from the ski place to Alex's parents. The whole thing doesn't make sense and could have been resolved a lot more amicably by telling the parents the no-show put them out 15£. Yet I'm still not sure they were out-of-pocket. Such a clusterf*ck over a 5 year old's birthday.
I think the parents on both sides are jerks. Alex's parents were rude for not notifying the boy's mother to let her know he wouldn't be able to attend, especially if the contact info was listed on the invitation.
The birthday boy's mother is in the wrong to send a bill for the no-show. If money was that tight she should have held the party at her house or not invited as many children to the ski venue in order to keep costs down.
This is precisely why I'm against huge, elaborate parties where everyone from the class is invited.
They are both wrong. The no show parents are twits. They had the invite and the phone number. Also they probably had the phone number on their phone as they had RSVPd the previous Thursday.
They just blew off the party and were jerks. They should pay the fee. ( who goes to someone's house and confronts them like the dad did? It just escalated things.)
The parent who threw the party is blowing this out of proportion. I would never send a bill.
Natural consequences are better. The kid won't be invited to other parties. That's what happened to a classmate of my child. They kept being no shows and people stopped inviting them to parties. Little kids don't care as much, but older school age kids do. The mom actually called me and asked why her child wasn't invited. Umm ...because you were a no show for two years?
Last edited by Meyerland; 01-21-2015 at 06:58 AM..
My god, people. GTFO yourselves already. Sometimes people just don't show up. That's life. Move along. If people would spend their energy on actual productive things instead of this garbage, imagine how much better we would all be.
Love this post. This attitude of entitlement is ridiculous. I am not a parent myself, but I am a devoted long distance auntie, so I faithfully attend my nephews' birthday parties' 150 miles from my home. My older nephew is 8 years old and the younger one is about to turn 2, and my sister is on a limited budget, so she makes sure her parties don't involve a financial penalty WHEN (not if, when) guests fail to show up. She has always done simple but fun parties for her sons: picnics in the park, water slides, pizza parties with the cake and ice cream messes, etc. . . The focus should be on the kid and the fun and not the $$$ amount spent.
I'm a big fan of simple parties in the park or at home and that is what we have always done. That said, kids see what types of parties their friends have and sometimes there is pressure to go bigger then you want to as a parent. The more elaborate, expensive parties have become so common that they are almost more the norm then the pizza party at home type of party. So far we've managed to avoid having one but I can see how parents might get to a point where they feel pressured to have a more elaborate and expensive party.
I don't know how old your children are, but let me tell you as a parent that many children can be disappointed and upset when their friends say that they will attend a party and then not attend.
Perhaps not a situation where they were expecting 25 children and only had 12 attend, but if you invite your five very best friends and two or three do not show up it can be very upsetting to a child, no matter what their age.
Heck, even as an adult, if you purchase theater tickets or something for three other couples and that night one or two couples just don't show up (after saying Yes), it would be upsetting ---- not just because of the lost money but because of their disregard for your feelings.
How about we teach our kids the worlds dont revolve around them, and stuff happens. My kids range from 8-21 and we have had hurt feelings along the way. But when I throw a party, I make it easy for people to come, I invite siblings, and I dont put expectations in my kids heads that 25 kids is better then 2 or 12 or what ever. Having fun is important. And I throw awesome parties.
If you do a small party, you need to discuss that with the parents of the other kids so they understand. And also let your kid know there is no promise all will be able to make it. Kids get sick. People have emergencies.
A party is a time to have fun, not a popularity contest.
Money isn't lost if you are already spending it. Why live life getting your panties in a bunch over the little things? I don't understand people who get all worked up about this stuff.
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