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For homework, you need to establish a routine. I find that it helps to allow a snack and short break before the kids start.
Have a specific time and specific place for homework. When the kids are doing homework, sit at the table with them and do something that looks like work (sort the mail, pay bills, etc.). Connect with the teacher - make sure the homework is actually doable in a reasonable amount of time. Don't nag, remind once and then butt out. Let them experience the consequence if they don't do it (provided the school actually has a consequence). Homework is the child's responsibility, not the parent's responsibility.
Also, it helps to have a set time for them to study even when they don't have any written homework. If they don't have written homework on a given day have them read and/or study their textbook and notes.
For homework, you need to establish a routine. I find that it helps to allow a snack and short break before the kids start.
Have a specific time and specific place for homework. When the kids are doing homework, sit at the table with them and do something that looks like work (sort the mail, pay bills, etc.). Connect with the teacher - make sure the homework is actually doable in a reasonable amount of time. Don't nag, remind once and then butt out. Let them experience the consequence if they don't do it (provided the school actually has a consequence). Homework is the child's responsibility, not the parent's responsibility.
Also, it helps to have a set time for them to study even when they don't have any written homework. If they don't have written homework on a given day have them read and/or study their textbook and notes.
Excellent suggestions.
Our children never (well, hardly ever) complained about doing homework.
During their homework time I usually was correcting papers or paying bills or doing some other type of chore, myself, at the same table or nearby.
I had an acquaintance who used to complaint that her children fussed and complained all the time about doing homework. But when I asked what the parents were doing at the same time they said that they were "relaxing after work" by playing video games or watching TV. Duh! The parents were playing video games while they were insisting that their children buckle down to study & do homework right after school.
Chores and schoolwork?..absolutely, those are two things most kids hate.
I didn't push for the school work much though, I figured the schools got them for 6 hrs a day, they should have the time to do it there.
The consequences?...nothing much, they still passed.
Chores?..not too many at 8 yrs old...sometimes it was easier to just do them myself and avoid the confrontation. Sometimes when they're not pressured to do chores they actually want to help out, and ask what they can do.
My 6 year old is in Kindergarten but is in advanced pull out classes and has homework (read 1 book, do 1 math worksheet, do 1 handwriting worksheet, and study 5 spelling words - takes about 30 minutes). After dinner I sit down next to her at the kitchen table and help her get started on her homework. I make a checklist of what she has to do with little boxes for her to check off as she finishes things. Then as she does her homework I either sit next to her and help, or I do chores in the kitchen with her like clear the table, wash dishes, or make lunches. I don't leave her alone and am always in ear shot, talking her through whatever she is doing. When she finishes her checklist I put a smiley face or sticker or something like that on the page, which she loves, and she usually gets a small piece of candy from the candy bin. At the end of the week, I look at her folder, and as long as she has a smiley face from the teacher on most things (in other words she's making an effort), I give her $2, which she usually saves up to buy a toy at the store. (Last time she got a jump rope and a bubble wand.) With this routine, I never have a problem getting her to do homework.
I also start the habit early. Her brother is 3, and he is already doing "homework" with mommy. 3 or 4 times I week, I will sit down with him and we will do a few preschool worksheets like coloring, tracing, counting, etc, fun stuff (takes about 5 minutes). I have 3 animal tokens and for each worksheet he does I give him a token, and when he gets 3 tokens he earns a chocolate Hershey's kiss. It takes 5 minutes and he loves doing "homework". I started my daughter this way too.
The most important thing to remember is that you need to be involved with your kid's homework. Do not go in the other room and watch TV. If you do not show that you feel it is important, your kid will also not feel it is important. But if you put in the effort, your kid will too.
Don't nag, remind once and then butt out. Let them experience the consequence if they don't do it (provided the school actually has a consequence). Homework is the child's responsibility, not the parent's responsibility.
I strongly disagree with this for an 8 year old. At that age, it is absolutely the parent's responsibility to make sure the child does their homework, and understands it, and gets it turned in, etc. It is wrong for a parent to think that a young kid just all of a sudden knows how to be responsible about doing their homework from the get-go without the parent first doing it with them to practice. That's nuts.
Think about how you taught your kid to brush their teeth or take a shower. You do it for them for a few years, then gradually you start letting them do parts of it on their own but you check to see if they did a good job, and then after several years of your help they can do it all by themselves. Homework is the same way. In grade school, you as the parent should be actively involved. You should not do the homework FOR them, but rather WITH them, as if you were their teacher helping them learn and practice. In middle school, they should start to do everything by themselves, but you check with them when they are done and make sure they finished everything and understood everything. By high school, the kid can do it alone (unless they ask you for help of course). This way, by the time they are doing it by themselves, they have years and years of practice doing it "right" with you and it just comes naturally to them.
If you don't believe me, try handing a 3 year old a toothbrush, a tube of toothpaste, and leaving the room, night after night. And let me know how well that worked after you've been to the dentist.
Our 8 year old struggles with homework, and I can't say I really blame him! They get too much, a lot more than when I was the same age. Doesn't leave much time for life outside of school, time to just be a kid. I wouldn't mind so much if it were something interesting, a project applying what they are learning in class, but it's mostly boring soul-sapping sheet work.
The thing that I have found consistently works to get him into it is for me to sit with him for the first 5-10 minutes to help him look at what he has to do, come up with a strategy for knocking it out, and lots of praise when he starts and when he does something correctly. And then I can usually get up and do something else close by while he finishes. It seemed time-consuming at the beginning, but actually it was a lot faster and less painful than dealing with all the tension and aggravation of having to be on him for a couple of hours to do his homework.
I did also think about letting the consequences fall as they may if he didn't do it. But the consequence would be staying in at recess or after school to do it. He already does not enjoy school much, I don't want him to have another reason to dislike it. Plus he needs that play time to run around and let off energy to be able to self-manage in class. More constructive for him to feel a sense of calm and accomplishment from having it completed and on time.
I have an 8 year old, and I'm trying to understand if what we are going through is a common problem.
A question regarding 5-11 years olds:
Do you have difficulty getting your kid to do her chores and homework?
Homework takes ages, a lot of begging and nagging involved?
How do you manage this?
I told them to do their chores and their homework, no discussion, no begging, no nagging.
If it was not done there was no life for them for a while which they did not enjoy because they got to sit in a chair in whatever room I was in and do nothing.
You are the parent so be the parent and teach your children to behave when told to do something the first time or there are consequences. Then follow through..............every time not just part of the time.
I strongly disagree with this for an 8 year old. At that age, it is absolutely the parent's responsibility to make sure the child does their homework, and understands it, and gets it turned in, etc. It is wrong for a parent to think that a young kid just all of a sudden knows how to be responsible about doing their homework from the get-go without the parent first doing it with them to practice. That's nuts.
Think about how you taught your kid to brush their teeth or take a shower. You do it for them for a few years, then gradually you start letting them do parts of it on their own but you check to see if they did a good job, and then after several years of your help they can do it all by themselves. Homework is the same way. In grade school, you as the parent should be actively involved. You should not do the homework FOR them, but rather WITH them, as if you were their teacher helping them learn and practice. In middle school, they should start to do everything by themselves, but you check with them when they are done and make sure they finished everything and understood everything. By high school, the kid can do it alone (unless they ask you for help of course). This way, by the time they are doing it by themselves, they have years and years of practice doing it "right" with you and it just comes naturally to them.
If you don't believe me, try handing a 3 year old a toothbrush, a tube of toothpaste, and leaving the room, night after night. And let me know how well that worked after you've been to the dentist.
You should never do a child's homework with them, imo.
You should sit with them and do some form of work. You should help them read the directions and make sure they understand them, but you are NOT responsible for doing it with them or for turning it in. You are not going to go to school with them and see that they turn it in.
Also, while you can check to see if they did it, it is better to let them make mistakes and correct them themselves. The fact is that the habit of doing it is established by the child doing it, not by you trying to enforce it.
Now, sometimes teachers give kids homework that is not the best, but then the teacher should see the mistakes so they can work with the child on his or her understanding.
As a severely (and undiagnosed) ADD child who was academically "gifted" (hate that word), I usually had a ton of homework and it was pretty traumatic for me. Some of my in-class issues were totally unrealized by my teachers too - my brain would not settle down enough to let me work through some of the subjects that did not come naturally to me.
Now is a time to teach your kid about self-regulation and life balance, and breaking things down into steps. With chores, I would do them with the kid a few times - break them down into tiny steps. That's really all life is - a bunch of little steps that amount to bigger accomplishments. This is how I work through stuff as an adult. When you're young (and especially when you're ADD/ADHD), everything can seem monolithic and insurmountable, and I think that's what causes a lot of the frustration that we see sometimes in young people. I think when you teach a child to think in terms of little steps you also give them a good foundation for understanding delayed gratification (as opposed to instant gratification).
With homework, I think you tell them to tackle one subject at a time. Allow them to take small breaks.
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