Child Literally Scaring School Officials (boy, clever, children, insurance)

[Spazkat9696]

I am literally annoyed by the use of apparently.

[Harpaint]

You could start with your county mental health department. They almost all have outstanding Doctors. Services should be free of charge and include social work to help you get him on medicaid if necessary. This is likely a neurological problem rather than behavioral. Best luck to you.

[HighFlyingBird]

It really sounds like he needs a full psych evaluation. Tourette's and bi polar come to mind. Best of luck.

[veuvegirl]

OP you can see why people are not believing your post. Did you speak to your son? Have you gone to the school to talk to them with your son?

If this is all going on, you need an evaluation ASAP.

[brokensky]

I am with others who want to know what this child has said when asked by parents WHY he was doing and saying these things.

He surely must have some explanation? If I read correctly, he has changed schools and has only been in his new school a matter of weeks. Why did he change schools, first of all. It is very stressful to start a new school and doubly so to come in at the end of the school year. I know - my parents moved twice when I was under 12 and both times it was mid-year. Very difficult as friendships have already been formed . . . everyone was into their own circles of friends and activities, etc.

So it is possible the move itself is at the root of all this and your son is acting out as a way of deflecting what he could feel is bullying by others . . . or as a way of gaining some attention (if he has felt ignored) - who knows? But it could be indicative of more serious issues.

In any case, I would first have an in depth discussion with him and then with school administrators and counselors - and find out exactly what has occurred. Take notes. Then get an appointment with a child psychologist. As others have mentioned, if you cannot afford to do so, there are typically other avenues for help, starting with your county mental health center.

[CountryDad1962]

I do apologize for the slowness of my replies. I'm behind a moderator wall. That is, I must wait for a moderator to approve my posts.

I have talked to my son about why he's doing such things. He refuses to tell me why. "Well, maybe I don't want people to like me!" he exclaims.

I never spend too much time with my son admittedly. I work from 7 in the morning until 4 each day. When he gets home from school each day, either from walking home if I can't pick him up or when I do pick him up, he spends most of his time in the dark in his room. He does have a little laptop but it has tons of confusing menus and passwords on it and I wouldn't even know how to get into it.

His mother works from 11 to 8 at night so she doesn't see much of him either.

When we say he's a quiet child, it's because we hear very little from his room and when he comes out, it's never for long. Not much is said.

He also never brings friends home from school, from this school or last or even from elementary school. I'm just dumbfounded since my daughter was very outgoing and this just never happened, maybe because she grew up before laptops were a hit with kids today.

Yes, in fact he told the counselor to stop calling him into his office. The counselor made him sign a letter saying he wanted to stop coming in and that was the end of that. My son told me that the counselor was annoying him, making him feel uncomfortable with the questions he was asking and that he was failing math class because the counselor kept calling him out during these times.

As I write this, I remember that my son has a huge fascination with making crank calls and listens to crank call recordings over and over from the internet. I know Judge Judy is one of his favorites or Mrs. Cleo or something. Maybe that's where these things come from? Do children typically have such a huge obsession with these things?

And in regards to therapy, how do I know my son isn't going to not cooperate with the psychiatrist or psychologist? How can I ensure that we get the information we need out of him?

Thanks

Jack

[Woof]

Originally Posted by CountryDad1962

Hi Marlow and Rowan123

This is a serious post. I understand I'm a first time poster. I typed in "Parenting Forum" into Google and this is the first place to come up.

In regards to seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist, what exactly do I need to know or do?

We never went through this type of behavior with our daughter. I don't think we can afford therapy such as $200 an hour like I've heard. That's just too much money for the money my wife and I make.

- Jack

The "I don't think we can afford" part is what concerns me. You shouldn't have to worry about that. I know that most white Texans are vehemently opposed to Obamacare to put it mildly, and maybe you've joined in on some of that griping, but now is the time to lay aside ideology and do what's best for your son. Get coverage any way you can.

I agree with some that the best first step is to see your family doctor, who can then refer him to any kind of specialist he might need.

I suppose he might have any of a number of problems, including Tourette's, or childhood schizophrenia in the beginning stages, a brain tumor, or obsessive-compulsive disorder. No way to tell. Maybe while waiting for his doctor appointment, you could try sitting down with him and working on telling him to stop such behavior as soon as it starts, just as with any bad habit he has overcome in the past. Maybe get him started on one of the words or phrases like fishsticks or "I love you" and cut him off after a coupla times, then make him try again and cut it out himself.

[Woof]

Originally Posted by CountryDad1962

I do apologize for the slowness of my replies. I'm behind a moderator wall. That is, I must wait for a moderator to approve my posts.

I have talked to my son about why he's doing such things. He refuses to tell me why. "Well, maybe I don't want people to like me!" he exclaims.

I never spend too much time with my son admittedly. I work from 7 in the morning until 4 each day. When he gets home from school each day, either from walking home if I can't pick him up or when I do pick him up, he spends most of his time in the dark in his room. He does have a little laptop but it has tons of confusing menus and passwords on it and I wouldn't even know how to get into it.

His mother works from 11 to 8 at night so she doesn't see much of him either.

When we say he's a quiet child, it's because we hear very little from his room and when he comes out, it's never for long. Not much is said.

He also never brings friends home from school, from this school or last or even from elementary school. I'm just dumbfounded since my daughter was very outgoing and this just never happened, maybe because she grew up before laptops were a hit with kids today.

Yes, in fact he told the counselor to stop calling him into his office. The counselor made him sign a letter saying he wanted to stop coming in and that was the end of that. My son told me that the counselor was annoying him, making him feel uncomfortable with the questions he was asking and that he was failing math class because the counselor kept calling him out during these times.

As I write this, I remember that my son has a huge fascination with making crank calls and listens to crank call recordings over and over from the internet. I know Judge Judy is one of his favorites or Mrs. Cleo or something. Maybe that's where these things come from? Do children typically have such a huge obsession with these things?

And in regards to therapy, how do I know my son isn't going to not cooperate with the psychiatrist or psychologist? How can I ensure that we get the information we need out of him?

Thanks

Jack

This sounds a bit more like the early stages of childhood schizophrenia or autism than I had thought at first. Keep an eye out for hallucinations or hearing voices telling him to do things.

At any rate, the first step is still taking him to the family doctor, and telling the doctor everything in detail.

[wac_432]

Originally Posted by AnonChick

May I please speak to your fishsticks - maybe it's the 12-year-old in me, but I think that's hillarious. I mean - just off-the-wall absurdist giggle-worthy funny. I love it. I might use that at work next week. I work retail. Next customer who comes into my line while talking on his cell phone and treating me like "machine I have to give money to" instead of "Fellow Human Being" I'm going to ask them that question instead of the obligatory "How are you today?" and see if they notice.

If they don't, I'll giggle at them after they leave.

Because under my 54-year-old adult wrinkles, I'm still a 12-year-old with a dorky sense of humor

I felt the same way. He's 12. 12-year-old's have a developing sense of humor. Then again, school administrators have probably seen it all, so if they're flagging him, there might be a serious problem.

You might want to start by dragging him--by his ankles if need be--out of his dark room and spending some time together between 4PM and 10PM. That might give you a better idea of what's going on than asking a bunch of strangers on the internet.

[Linerin]

Originally Posted by wac_432

You might want to start by dragging him--by his ankles if need be--out of his dark room and spending some time together between 4PM and 10PM. That might give you a better idea of what's going on than asking a bunch of strangers on the internet.

Agreed. This and take away his computer (I assume you are the one who bought it?)
Time to be a parent and get to know your son. You seem to not have a clue as to who he is and what he's up to. I used to work with teens and what you describe is far from normal. Your kid is sick and needs help-NOW.