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Old 05-20-2015, 12:55 PM
 
10,196 posts, read 9,888,603 times
Reputation: 24135

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
Quoting OP....,"however there is still definitely dangerous stuff he could get into if he put his mind to it - climb up to top cabinets, turn on the oven or the microwave, try to plug in some appliance. I've warned him repeatedly not to go into the kitchen until we're up, though he still did a few times."

The OP admits she is aware there are things in her home that this 5 year old could get into.

Sure, a 5 year old is capable of many things.....But, when you are a parent.... your responsibilities include parenting your child. What's going to happen when she is up repeatedly with an infant all night long....

And, of course, a person should be taking care of themselves, pregnant or not. But, not to the detriment of her 5 year old child.

Seriously.... The OP's Mom knows her. So, if GrandMa is worried about her grandson, I bet there is more to this than sleeping in for an extra hour in the am. Just sayin....
Well my mom was afraid I let my children run around...so grandmas are sometimes just paranoid.

I don't see the detriment. If the mom was worried, should wouldn't be able to sleep. If it was the kind of kid that keeps her on her toes, I bet she would be up bright and early. When my kids were 5, they could go into the kitchen and be trusted not to do something dangerous. I was using the stove top and a knife and the disposal not much older then 5. I didn't let my kids, but...ha know, people are getting overly paranoid.
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Old 05-20-2015, 01:00 PM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,221,586 times
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It is not paranoid to be an attentive parent. That, along with a few others are the buzzwords used by folks rationalizing their neglectful parenting.

I still think there is more to this story.
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Old 05-20-2015, 03:00 PM
 
2,547 posts, read 4,229,741 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Well my mom was afraid I let my children run around...so grandmas are sometimes just paranoid.

I don't see the detriment. If the mom was worried, should wouldn't be able to sleep. If it was the kind of kid that keeps her on her toes, I bet she would be up bright and early. When my kids were 5, they could go into the kitchen and be trusted not to do something dangerous. I was using the stove top and a knife and the disposal not much older then 5. I didn't let my kids, but...ha know, people are getting overly paranoid.
My mom wasn't too worried about it until this incident happened...then she called me freaking out because obviously everyone who knew the family were really traumatized. It's one thing to be hearing these types of stories in the news but completely another to know someone it happened to personally.

And that makes it so hard to be 100% objective about kids and risk - I mean it's easy to be pragmatic with other people's stories, saying 'accidents happen'. However imagining yourself in their shoes, g-d forbid, is different - and I totally understand how a parent could never live down knowing that they could've prevented the tragedy but didn't for some reason, I mean how do you live with yourself after that.

My kid is not hyper or a climber or anything like that and so far he hasn't done anything of particular concern, BUT - he is a very curious kid who likes to explore and doesn't always listen, so I don't know how much of it was just luck of the draw, because I still don't feel like I can trust him 100% or know what could pop into his head at any given moment. He knows he's not supposed to touch the stove or microwave or whatever...but I'll be honest, I can't be sure 100% that he won't decide to try and cook us a surprise breakfast or heat something up in the microwave with metal in it (though we've told him metal can't go in the microwave), or or or...so there is that tiny chance, where I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by trusting him, but at the same time don't really want to give up my last little bit of rest before the baby comes.
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Old 05-20-2015, 04:52 PM
 
10,196 posts, read 9,888,603 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilCookie View Post
My mom wasn't too worried about it until this incident happened...then she called me freaking out because obviously everyone who knew the family were really traumatized. It's one thing to be hearing these types of stories in the news but completely another to know someone it happened to personally.

And that makes it so hard to be 100% objective about kids and risk - I mean it's easy to be pragmatic with other people's stories, saying 'accidents happen'. However imagining yourself in their shoes, g-d forbid, is different - and I totally understand how a parent could never live down knowing that they could've prevented the tragedy but didn't for some reason, I mean how do you live with yourself after that.

My kid is not hyper or a climber or anything like that and so far he hasn't done anything of particular concern, BUT - he is a very curious kid who likes to explore and doesn't always listen, so I don't know how much of it was just luck of the draw, because I still don't feel like I can trust him 100% or know what could pop into his head at any given moment. He knows he's not supposed to touch the stove or microwave or whatever...but I'll be honest, I can't be sure 100% that he won't decide to try and cook us a surprise breakfast or heat something up in the microwave with metal in it (though we've told him metal can't go in the microwave), or or or...so there is that tiny chance, where I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by trusting him, but at the same time don't really want to give up my last little bit of rest before the baby comes.
I think if you are worried enough, maybe go to bed earlier?
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Old 05-20-2015, 05:53 PM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,221,586 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilCookie View Post
My mom wasn't too worried about it until this incident happened...then she called me freaking out because obviously everyone who knew the family were really traumatized. It's one thing to be hearing these types of stories in the news but completely another to know someone it happened to personally.

And that makes it so hard to be 100% objective about kids and risk - I mean it's easy to be pragmatic with other people's stories, saying 'accidents happen'. However imagining yourself in their shoes, g-d forbid, is different - and I totally understand how a parent could never live down knowing that they could've prevented the tragedy but didn't for some reason, I mean how do you live with yourself after that.

My kid is not hyper or a climber or anything like that and so far he hasn't done anything of particular concern, BUT - he is a very curious kid who likes to explore and doesn't always listen, so I don't know how much of it was just luck of the draw, because I still don't feel like I can trust him 100% or know what could pop into his head at any given moment. He knows he's not supposed to touch the stove or microwave or whatever...but I'll be honest, I can't be sure 100% that he won't decide to try and cook us a surprise breakfast or heat something up in the microwave with metal in it (though we've told him metal can't go in the microwave), or or or...so there is that tiny chance, where I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by trusting him, but at the same time don't really want to give up my last little bit of rest before the baby comes.
I have to say, you recognize the risks, your last couple of posts you express your own doubts. That may be your mother's instincts telling you that you are being a bit foolhardy knowing the potential is there.

No one is faulting you for needing rest...But, as a mother, I went through this myself...Adjust your bed time at night...go to bed earlier...Let the dinner dishes go til am...or have hubby help with them.

Is there an opportunity to take turns with your hubby....one gets up...and you alternate days.
Or find a sitter or daycare for a few hours a day so that you can nap. Your husband isn't pregnant....so there is no excuse for him not being up and available for his son...
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Old 05-20-2015, 06:33 PM
 
721 posts, read 1,567,163 times
Reputation: 490
My kids get up while I am sleeping-- they're in 2nd grade and K. Usually they will get up and play Legos or read or watch cartoons. I have raised them to be independent. I honestly think it is damaging for a child to always have a parent looking over their shoulder. I deal with interns at work and these kids are 18, 19 and have less sense than my kids.

My daughter was a climber as a toddler so at that time I had to keep a close eye on her but it was when she was like 2. A 5 yr old is a totally different thing.

Some people may not like the way I parent but it works for us. I honestly don't like little kids using cell phones/ iPads but that's not my choice so I don't tell everyone else what I think about it. It's not my business.
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Old 05-20-2015, 08:40 PM
 
756 posts, read 834,380 times
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Lightbulb Don't Overprotect Them Forever:

Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilCookie View Post
What do you think - at which point does a kid no longer need constant physical supervision at home? When do you accept that measure of risk? Was the mom at fault in the case of the TV? Am I putting my son in danger in the mornings?
I don't think kids should be unsupervised until they are taught how to stay out of danger.
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Old 05-20-2015, 11:11 PM
 
Location: Finland
6,418 posts, read 7,251,584 times
Reputation: 10440
Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilCookie View Post
My mom wasn't too worried about it until this incident happened...then she called me freaking out because obviously everyone who knew the family were really traumatized. It's one thing to be hearing these types of stories in the news but completely another to know someone it happened to personally.

And that makes it so hard to be 100% objective about kids and risk - I mean it's easy to be pragmatic with other people's stories, saying 'accidents happen'. However imagining yourself in their shoes, g-d forbid, is different - and I totally understand how a parent could never live down knowing that they could've prevented the tragedy but didn't for some reason, I mean how do you live with yourself after that.

My kid is not hyper or a climber or anything like that and so far he hasn't done anything of particular concern, BUT - he is a very curious kid who likes to explore and doesn't always listen, so I don't know how much of it was just luck of the draw, because I still don't feel like I can trust him 100% or know what could pop into his head at any given moment. He knows he's not supposed to touch the stove or microwave or whatever...but I'll be honest, I can't be sure 100% that he won't decide to try and cook us a surprise breakfast or heat something up in the microwave with metal in it (though we've told him metal can't go in the microwave), or or or...so there is that tiny chance, where I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by trusting him, but at the same time don't really want to give up my last little bit of rest before the baby comes.
Can you maybe get some rest on the sofa in the mornings so half supervising half dozing? Or take turns with your OH in getting up with him.

What does your son usually do when he's up before you? I know I can safely sleep in on weekend mornings because my kid will watch cartoons and not move from the sofa until I switch the telly off. What I do is get up, switch the telly on for her and give her some breakfast she can eat on the sofa, and then I go back to bed knowing that she doesn't need anything so no risk of her going to the kitchen looking for food etc. Could you do that and then go back to bed for a bit more rest?

Or unplug the microwave before you go to bed. Don't know about the stove top though, I don't worry about my kid switching mine on because it only works if the timer is on too, and I make sure nothing is on top of the oven. Worst case scenario a hob gets hot until the timer runs out, no big deal.
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