Should I take my kids away from their dad? (custody, legal, toddler)
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The father of my children is not a good father. He very easily upset, he cusses like a sailor (even at the kids). He calls them "mother ****ers". He doesn't understand patients. He can not stand the sound of them crying; mind you, them kids are all under 4 years of age and there is three if them. We do not have the same goals in raising children hes a "Do what I say, not what I do" type of dad without any question, which to me is tough for a toddler! He is disrespect to me he calls me all kind of "*******" in front of them and is just totally inappropriate! When he wants he can be a normal dad when I say normal minus the cussing and yelling for him that is his norm. I want to know what what am I suppose to do!! Coming from no father myself I dont now know if I am suppose to say "HEY STAY AWAY FROM OUR KIDS" OR if there is some kind of visiting situation or rules I can work out with him or something. I can not get comfortable with taking my kids away from their dad but at the same time I am trying to raise well-rounded human beings...Any advice or there for me?
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The father of my children is not a good father. He very easily upset, he cusses like a sailor (even at the kids). He calls them "mother ****ers". He doesn't understand patients. He can not stand the sound of them crying; mind you, them kids are all under 4 years of age and there is three if them. We do not have the same goals in raising children hes a "Do what I say, not what I do" type of dad without any question, which to me is tough for a toddler! He is disrespect to me he calls me all kind of "*******" in front of them and is just totally inappropriate! When he wants he can be a normal dad when I say normal minus the cussing and yelling for him that is his norm. I want to know what what am I suppose to do!! Coming from no father myself I dont now know if I am suppose to say "HEY STAY AWAY FROM OUR KIDS" OR if there is some kind of visiting situation or rules I can work out with him or something. I can not get comfortable with taking my kids away from their dad but at the same time I am trying to raise well-rounded human beings...Any advice or there for me?
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If the kids live with you, and he treats them that way, talk to your attorney, or Child Protection Services, and they can help you get supervised visitation through the court system. if you live with him and your children, you may need to go to an abused wife agency to gt help to get the kids and you somewhere to live that is safe.
Either way, it sounds like this man is at the very least verbally abusive to you and your children. This is a terrible situation and you are not doing right by your children allowing this to continue....Talk to your family doctor, or call your local abuse cnter and talk to a professional there. Good luck to you.
Consult a lawyer. Consultations are often free. Or you can try legal aid organizations. CPS could possibly provide you with some help there. A guardian ad litem is another possibility. They are not YOUR lawyer - they advocate for the child.
And talk to a domestic violence shelter/organization. Even if he hasn't physically assaulted you, his behavior is not acceptable, and they can help you go over your options.
No, this guy is no kind of father. If he fights you in court, insist on supervised visitation.
You aren't going to be able to deny him the ability to see his kids based on what you are saying, that I can tell you. If you two have an informal agreement then then take him to court for actual custody proceedings. You are going to need witnesses that can confirm he acts like that as well. Otherwise it's a he said she said situation and won't affect the judges final ruling.
You had 3 kids with him. Now you need to do right by them and raise them, and he is not a good influence. It sounds as if these three are going to require all your time and energy for the next 20 years, so maybe your first step should be making sure that all your attention is available for these 3, and that no more kids come along to distract you from that goal. So perhaps an appointment with your obgyn is in order.
As for him seeing them, unless he is abusive to you or them, you really have no right to deny him visitation. If he is abusive toward them, call child protection, and let the law stop the visitation.
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