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Being too feelings-oriented isn't good either. Sometimes, you just need to suck it up in life. Kids don't learn that lesson anymore, which is why they can't handle even the smallest stressors and turn to drugs so readily (I know....a good portion of my friends from high school became drugs addicts).
Also, sometimes a kid needs their ass beat. Not always, but sometimes.
It's all about balance. Unfortunately, society seems to go from one extreme to the other on most things.
I can attest to that. And as I said, hitting someone because you think they're stubborn or willful will only make the situation worse, much worse.
There are people who get down in the dumps and then there's clinical depression. You'd be a fool to confuse the two, so why would people think ODD is the same as being stubborn or willful?
Exactly. Its like saying someone who needs reading glasses is legally blind.
I know a few kids that take the meds...and not one of them are 'zombies'. In one case..the school doesn't even know he takes the medication.
In another the parents were only going to give the meds during the week....until their daughter asked to take it all the times because she felt so much better and able to actually enjoy fun weekend things rather than just bouncing off the walls, unfocused and getting yelled at.
I'd like to take some drugs all the time, too. Does that make it OK?
I do think that personality disorders (and disorders like this) exist. However, I believe they exist primarily due to poor parenting and upbringing.
From my observation, the vast majority of people these days are very poor parents.
Well I think you're wrong also! My husband and I have two children, (now adults) one with ODD, one without. We were GOOD, caring, loving parents. We raised them both equally with discipline and fairness.
I firmly believe that children are born with their personallity traits through their genes. Children are a combination of nature and nuture, but IMO, they are made up of more nature than nuture.
Our child with ODD was born with anger inside him. Before he could even talk, he gave himself bruises across his forehead from banging it on things during temper tantrums. Time outs were about the only thing that settled him down. No amount of talking or reasoning (when he was a toddler or adolescent) helped. He is now 30 and still has anger issues, but is now much calmer and happy.
Our other child was mild mannered from birth and remains so to this day.
I was a teacher in a private school that specialized in learning disorder/behavioral problem for a while, and the principal had what I thought was a good clue for telling if a kid had and actual attention/hyperactivity disorder or was just having a self-discipline problem. FWIW this principal was a minimalist type - on the side of be very very sure before prescribing drugs for what may simply be a behavior problem.
The difference is this.
Watch the kid do something he wants to do, such as playing a difficult computer game or practicing a sport. A kid with ADHD has difficulty doing things he wants to do. For example, he can't stay focused on the computer game long enough to complete the levels, gets frustrated and throws the thing on the floor.
Kids whose problem stems from not being raised right will get zoned out and keep playing for hours. They may get frustrated when it's difficult, but that doesn't stop from staying in focus.
The ADHD kids, if they get the proper dose of their medicine, can stay focused and enjoy doing the things they want to do. It's like night and day for some of them.
You can also see it in sports. A regular kid will stand and practice shooting hoops for as long as you'll let him if he wants to. The ADHD kid will shoot, shoot, look at the ceiling, shoot, shoot, run in a circle, shoot and run off. Maybe later he'll come back and play some and then run off, but he gets frustrated because he can't stay focused long enough to practice and acquire the skill
It's a simplification, I know, but after working with kids with a variety of problems it really stands out for a lot of them.
Now I'm going to suppose something about ODD kids.
Disclaimer: ODD kids are not in my personal experience.
I suppose the ones with the actual disorder can't do the things they want to do with other people because they blow up at the slightest opposition (decisions like what movie should we go see? want to get a hamburger or hot dog?), and most other people will not put up with that twice, so the ODD kid becomes an outcast.
Kids who are just brats can go along and compromise when they think it's to their advantage. e.g. "The gang wants to go see that movie, but I don't. However, Susan is going to be there so I'll go along".
I think that principal was extremely unprofessional and should be removed. I have never heard of a teacher or principal trying to diagnose a child.
If a medication is turning a child into a zombie then the medication should be stopped immediately. PROPER MEDICATION does not turn a child into a zombie. Quite the opposite actually.
I've never had a child that was a zombie in my classroom. A child that is in that state can not learn and it is not a good thing. Any teacher that prefers that state is not a good teacher and does not have the students welfare in mind.
We strived very hard to get the medication right for students, through countless hours of observation and note taking. Less was better than too much.
You don't think teachers shoukd recognize the signs and pass that information on to patents and doctors?
They can suggest seeing a doctor, but they can't diagnose. A teacher or principal should not be diagnosing students.
"I have some concerns about "student x". He/she is having difficulty paying attention during lessons and focusing on his/her class work. Are you seeing signs of this at home? If so, have you discussed this with your child's doctor?"
Vs.
Your child can concentrate while playing basketball or video games, so I don't think this is ADHD. He/she just needs more discipline.(or whatever)
Or...
Your child can't focus while playing games, so they probably have ADHD.
Every child is unique and I have no way to diagnose them. I can guess because I have been around many students with issues, but that's all it is. A guess. I could be 100%wrong. Some children don't get diagnosed until they are in middle school or high school, because the teachers may think they will grow out of it.
I can observe the child and take notes for the parent to take to their doctor.
Last edited by Meyerland; 06-30-2015 at 08:18 AM..
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