Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The new kid celebrity status is more likely to happen in elementary school, where most classes are at least somewhat contained (not switching for every subject). I experienced this twice in elementary. While scary, it was also kind of fun, being the center of attention.
I think it's less likely to happen in middle school and beyond, though. At that point, many schools are larger, often a mix-up of several feeder elementary/middle schools, and a lot of kids feel "new" in that their friends from previous schools are either going to different schools, or have different schedules. I think it'd be harder to come in the middle of middle or high school, when new friendships have already been made, versus starting at the beginning, when everybody is searching for his or her place within the social structure.
It looks like we will be moving from one major metro area to another. My husband will likely be starting a job October 1. Originally we were thinking he'd do the long distance commute home on weekends kind of thing and we'd put our house on the market in the spring and look to make the move in June or so. 11 year old son starting middle school is adamantly against this move at all.
My husband has now suggested that maybe this is prolonging the agony and will increase stress if we move in the summer, as the big adjustment in terms of school would not really begin until the school year began, leaving the summer to stress over it.
I don't know what to think. I think he has a valid point, but I just don't know. I'm totally stressed about the idea of moving, but this is an area I am kind of familiar with and do know some people in, so there are some good aspects to the move. It's more that there is a lot I will miss in the area where we live now.
Any thoughts on what might be better for my middle schooler? I also have a child who is starting K this year, but I am not as worried. I think the adjustment will be okay at either time.
Should we do it and just get it over with?
Yes. You should move when you need and want to move. We moved twice while my children were in middle and HS.
They have both graduated now, made friends in each school and are, I think, more resilient, open minded and flexible young adults.
Both graduated from HS with honors and attend prestigious colleges.
I have to side with your husband here - you are prolonging the agony and the inevitable. I actually think a couple of major moves are positive for children. It prevents provincialism and promotes adaptability.
PS - BOTH of my kids enjoyed "new kid celeb status" and they were NOT in elementary school.
I would move over the Christmas break, He would start school at the beginning of the semester, (in many schools), There will be other who are moving then to, so he won't be the only new kid in school.
Does he do any sports? Drama? Band? etc. If you can time it with start of those season also help him make friends with like interests ,
Also Changing to middle school is a big change for kids, Scary and exciting at same time.
We moved around early in July before our three kids were starting kindergarten, third and fifth grades. It was a mistake. Our kids arrived in a new neighborhood where there weren't many kids their age and it was difficult for them to meet anyone. They sat around the house for almost two months waiting for school to start. We planned the move and thought this was the best time to do it. We thought we were doing the right thing by not disrupting the older two kids' school year and our son's Little League baseball season.
It wouldn't have been as bad if we moved right before school started. We decided, however, that if we moved again, it would be better to move during the school year. Kids become celebrities when they move to a new school. Everyone wants to be friends with the new student. Kids actually miss out on some of that celebrity status if they start the year at a new school.
Many excellent points
When DD was in 7th grade, we moved 2000 miles for my job. We made the move at the end of March. I think the summer moves are not all they are cracked up to be, the new kids get lost in the masses.
When we moved, I was in communication with her new school, the counselor etc. Since the counselor only had one new student to deal with she was able to hand pick DD's class assignments as well as when we arrived on day 1, she had a few students picked out to hang out with DD, show her around etc. It was a very personalized introduction and I was very thankful we didn't wait for summer as was originally planned. 6 weeks later, when we got to summer, DD had met a few kids and started to form relationships so she had things to do and people to hang out with that summer.
Moving is tough, there is no way around it but the one thing we really tried to do was we put as much effort as possible into making it as easy on DD as possible.
We loosened up on the social rules. We had to, we didn't know all the kids and parents like we had in our prior hometown/school so DD spent the night with friends whose parents we had never met, she went to the movies or an amusement park or the mall with a group of kids we did not know etc.
DD is now a Jr in high school, she has a great group of friends and the move was one of the best things we ever did for our family.
Yes moving sucks but with a bit of planning and thought, parents can ease the trauma for their children. Good luck!
We moved at the beginning of summer with our kids (8 and 9) and really it wasn't a big deal. They made friends with some neighbors. I reached out to the PTA at my kids school via FB and we have had some play dates and we filled up time with summer camps and exploring our new area. Its been really nice.
It's better to move at the end of the school year. Summer vacation gives them some time to get used to their new environment before school starts. They may be able to meet kids in the new neighborhood and do things at home for a few weeks before school starts. It's not that long.
It's easier to fit in starting the school year at the at the same time as all their classmates, rather than coming in halfway through.
It's better to move at the end of the school year. Summer vacation gives them some time to get used to their new environment before school starts. They may be able to meet kids in the new neighborhood and do things at home for a few weeks before school starts. It's not that long.
It's easier to fit in starting the school year at the at the same time as all their classmates, rather than coming in halfway through.
This is especially true when the kids are all going to be moving into a new school like the first year of middle school, first year of high school or kindergarten. Since all the kids will be new, it is easier on a child who just moved, imo.
People move in mid year all the time in the Houston area. I usually had five or six new students a year and some leave when I taught in Katyisd. Move with your husband. :-)
Since you cannot move this summer, I would wait and do the move towards the end of next summer. That way, your son can enjoy one last summer vacation with his local friends, and then start in his new school the same as everyone else.
This talk about new kids being "celebrities" was certainly not my experience. When I was in elementary school, we lived in Virginia, but my family had to spend the entire month of September in Florida because of my father's allergies. (It eventually got so bad that we moved down there permanently.) The problem was that I never got to attend the first day of school, or the first week, or the first month. When I came back at the end of September, I was academically OK, because my parents homeschooled me during that month. But socially I was all out of whack. And this was with kids that I already knew! I can't imagine how it would have been if I was totally new to the school.
(When I started 5th grade, my mom took me on a plane back to Virginia so I could experience the first week of school. It was wonderful! I wish I could have done that every year.)
People move in mid year all the time in the Houston area. I usually had five or six new students a year and some leave when I taught in Katyisd. Move with your husband. :-)
Even though I think summer moves are ideal, I'm really for the family moving together.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Many excellent points
