Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Then it sounds like you're doing what you need to in order to get along with them, and that you're not a financial burden on them.
You might tell them thanks now and then, for not expecting you to move out when you grew up...tell them how much you enjoy being with them. Everybody likes to know they're appreciated.
Yes.
Still, though whenever I do converse with others, all I hear about is how they wanted to move out when they became adults. They go from living in a nice large house to a crappy apartment with multiple roommates. Very rarely do I run across another adult who lives like I do.
One of my uncles lived with my grandma until he died. He took care of the house for her, made sure she ate (she was an anorexic), took care of man chores like putting gas in her car and taking it for oil changes, took care of the pool, pretty much did whatever she needed done. She felt safer having a man living in her house, because she was very old-fashioned like that. He worked a bunch of odd jobs and everybody thought he was living with his mom because he had to, but when he died, his estate was worth more than half a million dollars, because he saved almost everything he made. He died in a car accident and my grandma died a couple years later. I think she just couldn't stand being alone.
So that's why I asked. There are some adult children whose parents depend on them and who are a comfort to have around. OP might be one of them...I play video games, watch cartoons and ride bikes, and it doesn't mean I'm a useless person, so I don't assume that OP is automatically useless either.
Refused? Refusal would not be an option. Threaten with suicide? I'd call that bluff and see how you like the mental health system.
Pretty low to pull that on your parents....
Still, though whenever I do converse with others, all I hear about is how they wanted to move out when they became adults. They go from living in a nice large house to a crappy apartment with multiple roommates. Very rarely do I run across another adult who lives like I do.
Most of us decide to move out when our parents make more rules than we're comfortable living with. When you live on your own, you can stay out as late as you want to and have a girlfriend or boyfriend spend the night, and a lot of parents won't let their adult children do that. So that's usually why they want to move out, even if they end up in a little apartment with a couple of roommates.
If I had a mildly mentally challenged child I would encourage him or her to gain skills so that they could work in a sheltered workshop or an appropriate low level job. I would also make sure that they gained enough skills that they would be able to live independently in an apartment, possibly with help from a social worker or case worker, or in a group home. After all, my husband and I will not live forever and I would want to make sure that my adult child would be able to survive after we were dead. I would follow a similar strategy if my adult child had mental health issues.
If my adult child was a selfish, lazy, inconsiderate bum I would give him a deadline to move out and be independent, and if they did not I would change the locks and never allow them to set foot in my home again. If I needed to call the police to have them legally evicted I would do that, too.
Such harsh words. Glad my parents aren't like you.
Still, though whenever I do converse with others, all I hear about is how they wanted to move out when they became adults. They go from living in a nice large house to a crappy apartment with multiple roommates. Very rarely do I run across another adult who lives like I do.
There is a sense of satisfaction gained by earning your own way. Living in a small apartment can be the greatest feeling if you know you worked hard to earn the money to rent it yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom
One of my uncles lived with my grandma until he died. He took care of the house for her, made sure she ate (she was an anorexic), took care of man chores like putting gas in her car and taking it for oil changes, took care of the pool, pretty much did whatever she needed done. She felt safer having a man living in her house, because she was very old-fashioned like that. He worked a bunch of odd jobs and everybody thought he was living with his mom because he had to, but when he died, his estate was worth more than half a million dollars, because he saved almost everything he made. He died in a car accident and my grandma died a couple years later. I think she just couldn't stand being alone.
So that's why I asked. There are some adult children whose parents depend on them and who are a comfort to have around. OP might be one of them...I play video games, watch cartoons and ride bikes, and it doesn't mean I'm a useless person, so I don't assume that OP is automatically useless either.
Yes, true. It was the "refused to move out" that got me. That implies that the parents have asked him to move out.
The "adult child" thing, though... OP, do you have aspergers, or something. That would change my answer.
Most of us decide to move out when our parents make more rules than we're comfortable living with. When you live on your own, you can stay out as late as you want to and have a girlfriend or boyfriend spend the night, and a lot of parents won't let their adult children do that. So that's usually why they want to move out, even if they end up in a little apartment with a couple of roommates.
Except socially challenged ones like myself. I can converse pretty well on the internet. Real life is a different story.
Well, I'd give a little more leeway, then. Your post implied that you could move out and choose not to. If you really weren't able, I wouldn't make you. I'd do everything I could to help you live up to your potential, whatever that is.
Yes, I help with housework. Yes they are still working. Father has a very good high paying job. Yes it's a very nice house with a very large yard (which is one reason I want to stay). My easy minimum wage job allows me to spend on simple things like the games I buy, my cell phone, and my used car.
This adds more to your story.
What happens if your parents lose their jobs, and are forced to sell the house and move into a tiny apartment? What happens if one or both develop early onset Alzheimer's and need to move into a nursing home? Or, are killed in a car accident?
What happens when they get older and want to move into a senior living community?
Are you able to step-up and get a good enough job that you can support yourself and pay all of your bills? Would you be able to handle all of your own cooking, housekeeping, laundry, bill paying, doing income taxes and other responsibilities that adults have? Just a few things to think about.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
