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So it's better for the OP to continue losing out of 3 hours a day she could spend with her son in order to remain in a location that allows the dog? A dog who is left alone for long periods of time anyway? Who has a chance to go to a family with the time and desire to properly bond with it?
Getting the dog was a mistake, no matter how well-intended. There's no reason to compound that mistake by guilting the OP into keeping it.
A good portion of places allow pets these days. If he was concerned with the pet he would make the effort finding one. He like a lot of parents got the pet and assumed his child would be the one taking the lions share care of it. If you looked at this guys posts you would see that he said that the move is more about him moving into a more vibrant area and not one with less of a commute. His sole desire seems to be about building a social network for himself. I would say that this is more about him not desiring to take care of the dog than worrying about spending extra quality time with his kid.
A good portion of places allow pets these days. If he was concerned with the pet he would make the effort finding one. He like a lot of parents got the pet and assumed his child would be the one taking the lions share care of it. If you looked at this guys posts you would see that he said that the move is more about him moving into a more vibrant area and not one with less of a commute. His sole desire seems to be about building a social network for himself. I would say that this is more about him not desiring to take care of the dog than worrying about spending extra quality time with his kid.
In fact he says "The move wouldn't be about the commute but rather the hope of getting into a more vibrant area to build a decent social life. I expect the commute to be just as bad either way." in his other post. In fact he doesn't even care going from a nice apartment to a smaller "fixer upper" to have a better social life.
Look, he came with his best case and wanted people to agree, pat him on the back and make him feel all better. But the facts are he is setting a poor example for his kid, he may be emotionally damaging his child with all the extra changes...esp getting rid of the kids dog. ANd he is contributing to the animal over population problem in the country, "good friend" taking it or not.
Good point but I'm wondering why the OP moved so far from work to begin with? The child is old enough to not have to be supervised 24/7 either. The child has been through a divorce, lost his other dog, his home and is about to move again and lose another pet. That's a lot of change for an adult, even more so for a child. Kids are notoriously bad about taking care of pets. Their kids, that's what they do. It doesn't mean he's not emotionally connected to the dog. He probably loves it in his own way. I feel sorry for the child. Honestly, I would keep the dog and work on finding a place to rent with a yard for the dog. Getting rid of it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Did you read this part of the OP?:
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigpapp
Like most kids he doesn't really have much to do with the dog. He loves the dog but not interested in playing with him or taking care of him.
The kid has little interest in the dog other than seeing an occasional wag of the tail.
All the emotional hyperbole in this thread is nothing more than that: emotional hyperbole. Let's look at the facts:
Fact:
He has a 1.5-hour commute in each direction
Fact:
In addition to those 3 hours of travel time, he's away from home for 7-8 hours per weekday.
Fact:
He has a young school-age son who isn't old enough to take care of himself.
Fact:
His son isn't the one who cares for the dog's needs, other than the love and affection part.
Conclusion:
OP is not home enough to care for the animal's needs as they should be cared for, AND he is unable to be with his son as often as he should, as a single parent.
Therefore:
OP is doing the right thing by moving closer to work regardless of his motives and giving over responsibility of the dog to another family that he's already lined up.
Prognosis:
Once the OP's son is a year or two older, he should revisit the concept of pet ownership, but do a lot more legwork and careful consideration before diving in. If his situation is stable and he's able to be home more often, and his son is doing well, and his son has shown more of a personal sense of responsibility, then pet ownership might become an option.
Right now, it doesn't seem that either of them are ready or able to own a pet, so it's good that he's letting that one be taken care of by people who are better equipped to do so.
By the way I have a very close friend with kids and a house that would love to take the dog so it would have a great home.
Thoughts?
OP, you solved you own problem in your first post. A close friend with kids and a house. You and your child can visit the dog now and then. Happy dog, happy you and your son.
Therefore:
OP is doing the right thing by moving closer to work regardless of his motives and giving over responsibility of the dog to another family that he's already lined up.
This. The OP shouldn't be scared off a responsible parenting decision by the kind of people that always descend on these threads.
Dogs aren't people, or a good substitute for people. If you have a relationship with a pet, you should treat it like the type of animal it is. Arbitrarily assigning human traits and expectations to a pet is the same kind of cruelty as treating a human like an animal.
Of course, owning pets has an inherent level of cruelty involved. Animals don't belong with humans, they belong with other animals. But there's a lot of cruelty in the world, and it doesn't stop me from eating meat, and I would own a pet if it were advantageous for my family.
So don't worry about the dog's feelings. You can never know them. Do what is best for your family. Manage your son's human feelings, because you can understand him, since he's the same species as you. Sounds like you are already doing the best you can for the dog--at least as far as an ignorant non-dog can...
Last edited by wac_432; 08-23-2015 at 05:45 PM..
Reason: More info.
This. The OP shouldn't be scared off a responsible parenting decision by the kind of people that always descend on these threads.
Dogs aren't people, or a good substitute for people. If you have a relationship with a pet, you should treat it like the type of animal it is. Arbitrarily assigning human traits and expectations to a pet is the same kind of cruelty as treating a human like an animal.
So don't worry about the dog's feelings. You can never know them. Do what is best for your family. Manage your son's human feelings, because you can understand him, since he's the same species as you.
I didn't even read anyone talking about the dogs feelings. Points were bad example for child, bad for the dog over population problem, irresponsible pet ownership, maybe damaging to a child who has lost so much, suspect motives, easy way out...etc. Maybe I missed it but I didn't see anyone claiming the dog had human emotions
Tell your son to start taking care of the dog, or else. I don't know, I just hope the dog is not sacrificed. Dogs are part of family, why give away a family member?
Tell your son to start taking care of the dog, or else. I don't know, I just hope the dog is not sacrificed. Dogs are part of family, why give away a family member?
The dog is not the kid's dog. It's the parent's dog. The parent bought it because the parent felt guilty about giving the previously-family-owned dog to his ex-spouse. Not because the kid asked for a dog.
The kid isn't even a teenager, he's a little kid who didn't ask for a replacement dog but got one anyway. Forcing him to take care of a dog that he never asked for is a pretty lousy thing to do to a kid.
The dog is not being sacrificed. The dog is being rehomed.
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