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I would go with her.... while the kids are having their party.... you can chat with the parent(s) and is a great way to meet the new folks. Often too parents hosting a party may appreciate the extra help. Our 10 yr old son has food allergies and I go to his birthday parties he is invited too, not to spy or hover over him, but just for caution and also to help out the host(s). Get's me out of the house too. I want to add I would of course let the host know I was coming....in almost all cases I have seen there is an RSVP with the birthday invitation so the host can know how many kids to plan for.
Does anyone here have an Aussie neighbor who just barged up with a smile?
Because if they do they know what I mean.
Its not part of our National Psyche to tip toe about especially where kids are concerned. Such a parent inviting children would actually expect impromptu visits up to the big day and not be bothered at all by them.
For example, the day I moved in to my new house 2 neighbours knocked on my door and introduced themselves.
I would've preferred they waited a week but there you go...
I took it as the compliment meant.
Again, if you have nothing to hide, you will be a bit surprised - but its the most sensible way to tackle OPs problem.
Go and meet them.
Call first if you can get their number, but an Aussie wont let this stop them just rolling on up!
Its cultural. We have a far higher privacy standard in other respects I've noticed, strangely.
Does anyone here have an Aussie neighbor who just barged up with a smile?
Because if they do they know what I mean.
Its not part of our National Psyche to tip toe about especially where kids are concerned. Such a parent inviting children would actually expect impromptu visits up to the big day and not be bothered at all by them.
For example, the day I moved in to my new house 2 neighbours knocked on my door and introduced themselves.
I would've preferred they waited a week but there you go...
I took it as the compliment meant.
Again, if you have nothing to hide, you will be a bit surprised - but its the most sensible way to tackle OPs problem.
Go and meet them.
Call first if you can get their number, but an Aussie wont let this stop them just rolling on up!
Its cultural. We have a far higher privacy standard in other respects I've noticed, strangely.
Yes, meet them. That's no big deal. You just call first to set something up.
To expect impromptu visits because it's part of the culture is absolutely fine. Maybe it's even a better way of doing things.
But that's just not how it works here. Impromptu visits are considered very rude. I have never had a friend randomly stop by, with the exception of when we moved and someone brought over a casserole. That type of impromptu visit is expected.
Cultural differences are fascinating to me. The best thing to do is act like a Roman while in Rome. If I ever make it to Australia, I will try to get over my unwillingness to stop in at someone's house unexpectedly. But since that is mostly taboo here, I'll continue to call first in almost all circumstances, as that is the cultural norm.
It's happened for my daughter, who is the same age. When we do this, one parent brings her to the party and sticks around to meet the family, talks for a bit, sees who is there. The other parent picks up and again talks to the family. We've met several of her friends' families that way.
Do not show up at their house unannounced! That is totally rude. Call them on the phone.
That's a great idea! These parents are busy making sure everything is ready for their child's birthday party and the one thing they really need is a phone call.
That's a great idea! These parents are busy making sure everything is ready for their child's birthday party and the one thing they really need is a phone call.
Presumably the phone call is made enough in advance of the event so a timely RSVP can be made. Not 20 minutes before the party begins.
My oldest just turned 13 and I trust her judgement-- she tends to befriend kids who are nice, good students and respectful-- if she gravitated towards jerky kids, I might feel differently.
For a sleepover, I'd make a point of communicating with the parents ahead of time-- but for a daytime party? I think meeting the parents when I drop my daughter off is more than adequate; my daughter is responsible and has a cell phone should she need to reach me. I'd feel even more comfortable if this was a new friend of my daughter's but if they were friends with some of my daughter's friends.
And, at least in the areas that I've lived in, you don't pop over unannounced nor do you stay at a party once the kids are in elementary school (unless parents are invited, of course).
If you want to meet the parents, then by all means call and invite them out to coffee-- or call to find out what the birthday kid would like as far as a present goes, but at some point it's time to trust, just a little, and stop helicoptering over kiddos, especially those in middle school. I know it's scary, but a lot of it is perceived risk, not actual risk.
If you are that much of a helicopter mom that you feel uncomfortable, ...
OUCH.
If the child was 16--maybe the helicopter mom might fit.
12--no.
OP, drop her off, introduce yourself to the parents.
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