Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
50 is 50 no matter how much anyone can try to sugar coat it into the new 40. Most people in their 50s do not have the energy and patience it takes to take care of an infant and then run after a toddler a couple of years later and then a teenager when they are in their 60s. There's a huge difference between being an active grandparent and babysitting, and having to raise a little one 24/7.
There's a good reason why nature prevents women from bearing children after a certain age and it's not about discrimination.
I agree with you about energy, but I think people in their 50s are more likely to be patient than people in their 20s. My own parents mellowed a heck of a lot. So did my grandparents. I am only in my 40s, but I am more patient now than I was when my kids were little.
I agree with you about energy, but I think people in their 50s are more likely to be patient than people in their 20s. My own parents mellowed a heck of a lot. So did my grandparents. I am only in my 40s, but I am more patient now than I was when my kids were little.
While I agree that in my mid 50s I am much more patient than I was in my twenties and thirties, I do wonder how much of it is age and how much is the direct result of raising children. Would I be as patient now if I hadn't been through 25+ years of parenthood?
20-30 year old: "Pregnancy at 40?? When the kid is in high school, she'll die!"
40 year-old: " Pregnancy at 50?? When the kid is in high school, she'll die!"
50 year old: "Pregnancy at 57-65? When the kid is in high school, she'll die!"
70 year old: "What?! I am not old!!! I'm Helen Mirren, Judy Dench, Jane Fonda"
While I agree that in my mid 50s I am much more patient than I was in my twenties and thirties, I do wonder how much of it is age and how much is the direct result of raising children. Would I be as patient now if I hadn't been through 25+ years of parenthood?
I was a nanny when I was a student and that experience was enough to clue me in on what's it's really like to have children. Had I ever had a mate I could actually TRUST to do his fair share of the work, I might have reconsidered (my mom certainly pressured me enough!). But I was not at all in the dark about how physically and emotionally hard it is to raise children properly and no way was I doing that without a seriously committed partner — even in my 20s or 30s.
I find it hard to believe women of average economic status would be delaying childbirth until 50 unless she's seriously naive or an incredible physical specimen.
Janet Jackson is a multimillionaire. She can have professional help to do all the actual WORK raising her children. That's not the same as a 50+ year-old woman caring for a baby 24/7. Women enjoy being grandmothers because when they get worn out they can hand the kids back. If a 50-year-old woman gives birth she will be eligible for Social Security before her child has a driver's license. Wouldn't that be fun? Being 65 when you're a working class person is not the same as being 65 when you're a rich celebrity.
I truly believe the majority of people who have children are already parents before they fully comprehend what all is involved in caring for young humans. They are oblivious to the time commitment, the emotional effort, and the true financial cost until the child is already in their house and there's no turning back. It's not like owning an animated doll or a dog who talks. People will say they understand that, but they don't on a deep level. I can't tell you how many times I've heard 20-somethings say pre-parenthood, "My life isn't going to revolve around the baby. I'm going to fit it into my life." Good luck with that and you might succeed ... but your parenthood will probably be a failure.
All these people saying how exhausted you were raising kids in your 40's and dealing with teenager in 60's... is it really much easier for 20 year old mothers/fathers dealing with kids. Most of my mid 20's early 30 year old new mothers all complain about exhaustion & with my coworker almost every parents complain about dealing with teenager. Is it extra hard for older parents or is it just case of "grass is greener on other side" syndrome.
My parents had me & my brother in their late 20's early 30's. We were teenager in their late 40's and early 50's.
A decade later by some miracle they had my little sister and little brother in their 40's. I don't think they were worst parents or exhausted parents for my younger siblings. My brother is in college and my parents are in their 60's. I don't think they treat him any differently then they did for us but the entire college, raising adult is not new & so they learned a lot and learned to relax while my younger siblings vs. with the older 2 they were always on edge. Some people even they might put this relax parenting style to age but i will say its because they learned their lesson with the older that kids will do what they want, no point trying to control them
While I agree that in my mid 50s I am much more patient than I was in my twenties and thirties, I do wonder how much of it is age and how much is the direct result of raising children. Would I be as patient now if I hadn't been through 25+ years of parenthood?
That's a very good point. I spent a major part of my career working at the headquarters of a Fortune 100 company and I always noticed that the best secretaries were women who had multiple children. You'd think they'd be distracted, but no, they could multitask, handle a crisis, deal with needy people, get talky customers off the phones, and zip through assignments like nobody's business.
I always told the executives I worked for, "Oh, no, you do NOT want that hot 20-something for your secretary. Not if you actually want your department to function well. You want a middle-aged mom."
I don't know about that.. my mom in her 50s is running around renovating houses by herself, doing the floors, landscaping, plumbing and even electrical wiring - all through do it yourself can-do and the internet. My grandma raised her grand daughter and babysat us kids all with a spring her step. Heck, even my great grandma has been taking care of a massive garden, canning all sorts of food for the winter, well into her 90s. Some people have all the energy.. meanwhile, I barely have the energy to do house chores. I just didn't get them genes..
Exactly! I know young mothers who are not active at all and cannot run after a toddler. With the obesity epidemic, this is actually quite common.
So many American children are raised by their grandmothers and the older women do an excellent job When I first learned of this statistic, I thought that there was no way the grandmother could be a good parent when they were the one who did such a poor job of raising their own child (the young person's parent). I eventually learned that I was completely wrong. Wisdom comes with age....
While I agree that in my mid 50s I am much more patient than I was in my twenties and thirties, I do wonder how much of it is age and how much is the direct result of raising children. Would I be as patient now if I hadn't been through 25+ years of parenthood?
It may just be living life. I am more patient now than when I was in my 20s and I don't have any kids to blame this improvement on. It is just maturity.
50 is 50 no matter how much anyone can try to sugar coat it into the new 40. Most people in their 50s do not have the energy and patience it takes to take care of an infant and then run after a toddler a couple of years later and then a teenager when they are in their 60s. There's a huge difference between being an active grandparent and babysitting, and having to raise a little one 24/7.
There's a good reason why nature prevents women from bearing children after a certain age and it's not about discrimination.
Nature does not prevent women from bearing children after a certain age. The uterus does not age. It is conception and hormonal support that becomes more difficult with aging.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
