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A token economy actually makes some behaviors worse, and the fact that she talked back to you by asking what about YOUR homework shows that your methods may not be getting the desired outcomes.
We live in a token economy. I go to work to get electronic tokens in my bank. Without those, I'm outta here.
I'm getting the desired outcome. She's not a gullible follower who jumps off a bridge just because mom tells her to. Asking about my homework was a completely legitimate question. If I preach "work before play", you better believe I better follow "work before play" in my own life.
For goodness sakes. Personal property within a household is not the only boundary that exists! You are a smart guy who usually has some pretty good posts that I agree with, please stop playing dumb like "oh my gosh you have one different rule than we do you must not have any rules omg omg!" Some households do personal property boundaries, and some households do communal property. BOTH ARE OKAY. Just like some spouses have separate bank accounts and some have joint. Get over it.
OK. You are probably right here and I was probably wrong about your approach. Nevermind what I said.
I was allowed in any part of the house and allowed to touch anything I wanted. As are my children. Anything dangerous is in a safe or locked up.
Don't care.
Btw, my son is kind and respectful and asks permission for everything.
Seriously, me too. My kids can go into my closet, my room, my purse, etc. Anything I don't want my kids to have access to is in the safe. Anyone who thinks a kid can't discern the difference between their home and school is being obtuse. Being comfortable in their own home does not mean they won't learn boundaries.
There is one place in the home they can't go into without permission and that is the pantry. And guess what? They have no problems abiding by this rule. Imagine.
Oh that's easy. I tell them that their Christmas presents are in the attic, and that if they peek, I'll just return them to the store. If they insist on peeking, Christmas is now a gift card affair. Done.
What kind of punishment is that? As a kid I would much prefer it because I could get exactly what I wanted. Maybe if you cut it by 75%. You certainly are anything but a warden...no fears there.
We live in a token economy. I go to work to get electronic tokens in my bank. Without those, I'm outta here.
I'm getting the desired outcome. She's not a gullible follower who jumps off a bridge just because mom tells her to. Asking about my homework was a completely legitimate question. If I preach "work before play", you better believe I better follow "work before play" in my own life.
It's amusing that you're SO CERTAIN you're getting the desired outcome now, even though there are many options between what you're doing and "jumping off a bridge."
And when your daughter figures out that she just doesn't care about stickers and doesn't want to go through the effort required?
Which surefire technique will you whip out next?
The OP's problem really isn't privacy anyway. Her child was so in "need" of candy that he was searching in the wayback of her closet, and he saw NO REASON to consider that what he was doing might not be right.
Which column do you file THAT under on your sticker chart?
What kind of punishment is that? As a kid I would much prefer it because I could get exactly what I wanted. Maybe if you cut it by 75%. You certainly are anything but a warden...no fears there.
It's not a punishment, it's a consequence. Punishment is when you bring home a note from school that you disrespected school property and you get grounded. You do something bad, and you get punished. But peeking at Christmas presents? You punish your kids for that? Why? I mean really, why? I mean, you want your presents to be a surprise, sure, but so? That's your problem. Not theirs. If they don't want their presents to be a surprise, then I get them a gift card, and it isn't anymore. Christmas presents are about giving something that the other person would like, right?
I don't like surprise presents either. Every birthday, Christmas, and anniversary, I pick out my (reasonably priced) present, buy it, and tell my husband what he got me. It makes me happy. Should he punish me for it? No, of course not.
I was allowed in any part of the house and allowed to touch anything I wanted. As are my children. Anything dangerous is in a safe or locked up.
Don't care.
Btw, my son is kind and respectful and asks permission for everything.
This is us too.
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