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I need peoples input. Okay so I have a 6 yr old boy an 8 yr old girl. They do share a room(wish they didn't have to though) Well my 6 yr old came to me to tattle on his sister earlier b/c she wouldn't play with him. They were watching cartoons in room. When 6 yr old decided he wanted to play, but wanted his sister to play with him. When she said no b/c she was watching tv he came to tattle. Well my bf got upset b/c he wanted them to decide if they would either play together or watch tv together w/o it being a problem. Neither child would compromise. So he decided to turn tv off and said no playing either. For them to just lay down. Well then he decided he would put tv on. But on a discovery channel instead of cartoons. My daughter asked if she could just turn tv off. But bf said no that it was staying on and on that channel. He said since they couldn't give us what we wanted which was them getting along that he wasn't going to give them their way. Well I don't agree that they should have to do everything together. I do think they should be nice to each other but not be forced to do same activity together. I secretly put tv back on cartoon. I don't want to start a fight w/ bf
My kids are pretty much the same age. Mine get along for the most part but sometimes one doesn't want to play when the other one does. It's usually my daughter that wants my son to go on the trampoline and he is busy playing a game or watching a show. I leave them to figure it out.
You need to shut the tattling down. Your son won't stop until you make it clear there is no more tattling. He does it because it gets his desired result. They don't need to always be doing the same thing. Your son should have been the one to get in trouble if anyone not your daughter. She didn't do anything wrong.
We do have the rule that if they fight over the TV then it gets shut off.
You(and your bf) would really benefit from some parenting classes OP. You need to get on the same page as far as the kids are concerned, and you aren't doing your relationship any favors by going behind his back to overrule his attempt at discipline.
I find it ironic that you complain about your kids tattling, and then come here to basically do the same thing about your partner.
You(and your bf) would really benefit from some parenting classes OP. You need to get on the same page as far as the kids are concerned, and you aren't doing your relationship any favors by going behind his back to overrule his attempt at discipline.
I find it ironic that you complain about your kids tattling, and then come here to basically do the same thing about your partner.
I agree with everything Mattie posted. I'd like to add that you should consider individual counseling for yourself. It's pretty clear that you are grieving the loss of your father and you seem easily overwhelmed by day to day parenting issues. Good luck!
1) Your son was wrong for tattling that his sister wouldn't play with him. There was nothing to tattle about.
2) Your BF was wrong to punish your daughter. She didn't do anything wrong.
3) You were wrong to secretly turn the TV back on. Parenting must be a united front; if you don't agree, you discuss doing it differently the next time.
It sounds like you have three children in the house. Your BF is acting more like a big brother than a parent. And the fact that you have to deal secretly with your kids to not upset the BF is alarming. I agree that parenting classes or some counseling is in order.
I agree with the suggestion to take parenting classes.
Also, get the TV out of the room. They don't need a TV in their room...its lazy parenting. Start limiting screen time to 1 hour a day, 2 hours a weekend day. And time it. Watch TV with them. I know they are with you a lot and you want a break. But you aren't the only parent who has a kid with them all the time. You will really kick yourself if you let them go on with this type of access to screens.
You have mentioned before that you wish that your son & daughter did not have to share a bedroom.
It appears to me that a lot of their difficulties are because they are forced to spend far too much time together.
Maybe they could have the bigger bedroom/master bedroom and divide it into two smaller areas and you and your BF can share the smaller bedroom, after all I bet that you & he sleep in the same bed and your children (I hope) have their own beds.Is there some way that you can divide the room with book cases or a hanging sheet or something so that they can each have their own private area to have more private time away from each other?
How long are they going to be sharing a bedroom? Puberty is starting at younger and younger ages and soon your daughter will not want to be changing clothes in front of her brother. And when they start bringing more friends over to play it will be harder for your daughter to be playing with dolls or dress-up or talking with her girlfriends with her brother always in the bedroom.
Maybe even part of the living room could be divided off to make a private area for one of your children or at least a separate play area so you children are not always forced to be together.
OP, perhaps you need to start thinking about how you can start to work, or get a better job or your BF or you can get a second job so that you can get a place big enough for each of your children to have a separate bedroom. Perhaps you can find a three bedroom place, even if the bedrooms are small.
I agree that you and your BF would benefit from parenting classes.
Yea we are going to sleep in living rm for summer i think and give my daughter my room. I hate that I went behind his back but I didn't think it was fair for her.
I am not saying bf handled it like Dr. Spock (no pointy ears) but it was not severe or psychologically damaging. It's about a TV being turned on or off or channels being changed. Please resist undermining your partner. Kids know the dynamics.
I suggest, remove TV and let siblings work it out between themselves. If they start yelling or hit each other send them to separate rooms for time out and/or a nap.
All the best
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