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Okay this will be long sorry in advance. I am 18 and a new mother to a beautiful baby boy. Unfortunately I don't have much of a support system and have been struggling to survive. When I got pregnant at 17 my mother viewed it as a source of shame. She is one of those that likes to show the appearance of everything being okay. When I told her I was pregnant she yelled at me saying "do you know how this makes me look?" and told me never to tell friends or family.
When I started to show she made me wear baggy clothes and other things to cover it up. I should probably also mention she is an alcoholic. I had to find out everything about pregnancy and having a baby online she never wanted to talk about it. While this was going on my child's father committed suicide leaving me with no chance at getting child support. I do have my drivers license and a beat up car fortunately, but she told me after I graduate HS and had my son she wanted me out.
True to her word after graduation and a little over a month of having my son she kicked me out with just what I could put in a suitcase. I had to live out of my car for 3 days and during this whole time I was applying for jobs. I finally found a friend that let me stay in exchange for helping which I don't mind but I still haven't found a job even at McDonald's. My friend has helped with my cell phone bill so that I can still call and apply for jobs I also recently applied for assistance with the government but you know how long that can take.
Fortunately I can breast feed and love doing it and knowing I can take care of my son. I go without a lot and that is fine. But I often feel very depressed and I have called my mother several times but she won't help but I also don't want my son being around her being drunk so often she can get abusive and has hit me on occasion. I know it's not a good environment for me or my son.
Has anyone here experienced being a very young single mom? What did you do to make ends meet?
I would tell you to apply for a college with family housing.
But to be honest I haven't really seen these situations turn out well without family help.
Even though you're breastfeeding, you should apply for WIC for yourself. It will give you some foods like milk and cheese, which will help to supplement what you get will from government assistance. Also, find out if there's a diaper bank in your area.
You might be able to find a job babysitting that would allow you to bring your baby with you. You can also look into getting childcare assistance so that you can work.
If you're comfortable sharing what city you're in, people here might know of resources for you or be able to look things up that could help you.
It doesn't sound like your mother is a positive influence in your life or someone you really need to have a relationship with. You might contact your son's father's family and see if they want to see your son. It would be good to have some grandparents for him who aren't mean alcoholics like your mother, and getting to know your son might be some comfort for them, since he's all that's left of their son.
I am really sorry for your situation, and at the same time, I cannot tell you how fortunate you are to have that little baby boy. Your sole purpose in life should be to better your lot and take real good care of your boy so that he doesn't end up thinking the same of you as you do of your mother.
So, given your situation, first and foremost you should ask yourself - can you commit to all that it takes to raise him? If you cannot, my sincere advise to you is to give him up for adoption. His adoptive parents will end up blessing you for the rest of their lives for giving them a chance to experience parental joy. Your child will find two fully committed adults who WANT your child, and are fully equipped to give him a stable and loving family.
Now if the answer to the above question is yes, then please find out where you can get government help to put a roof on your head and also get a job. Sharing the name of the city would certainly help get pointers on this thread. I myself will look up the net to find some resources. Also, is your son on CHIP?
All my very best to you and your precious son! God bless you both.
Apply for WIC, it will help you get the nutrients you need in order to breastfeed. I can only imagine how discouraged and alone you must feel but help is out there for you. No shame in you asking for a helping hand. Lots of churches have emergency baby supplies that they give out to low income people. If you can post your location maybe someone can give some specific information. Keep applying for jobs, some shelters offer job training and childcare until you get on your feet. Good Luck.
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