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There are different familial and cultural views on this so that from this information alone it isn't clear that anything inappropriate is going on - some families kiss children on the lips - even into adulthood - just a quick peck and that is normal for them and that might extend to young kids in general for them without them seeing it as strange - but it is appropriate for you and your child to set boundaries and expect them to be respected. You should let this person know that your family is not comfortable with x where in x you spell it out - kissing on lips with non-family - whatever it is. And then if that is not respected, you definitely have grounds to go somewhere with that. In the mean time, just be alert for signs something 'wrong' is going on.
I cannot let something like this go. I don't know any parent who would be ok with this. I have asked my friends and all said that a line was crossed.
Probably because you and your friends all come from similar backgrounds.
There are many parents who wouldn't think twice about it. Does this woman kiss her own child on the lips, is it normal and acceptable in her family?
Not to mention a kiss on the lips from a child is usually close mouthed, dry and very brief, no more unsanitary or gross than a kiss on the cheek.
Kids generally think a kiss is simply something people do who like each other, it's the adults who put a sexual spin on it. I'm actually disturbed by how many people seem to eager to turn childish kisses into something dirty and shameful. Not saying that it should be done by virtual strangers, but omg at how many people apparently can see it only as something sexual, disgusting, pedophilia, abuse, etc!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick
I don't think kids should ever be forced into physical contact with adults against their will. But......for many cultures kissing on the lips is commonly accepted and not taboo or considered sexual in any way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by otowi
There are different familial and cultural views on this so that from this information alone it isn't clear that anything inappropriate is going on - some families kiss children on the lips - even into adulthood - just a quick peck and that is normal for them and that might extend to young kids in general for them without them seeing it as strange - but it is appropriate for you and your child to set boundaries and expect them to be respected. You should let this person know that your family is not comfortable with x where in x you spell it out - kissing on lips with non-family - whatever it is. And then if that is not respected, you definitely have grounds to go somewhere with that. In the mean time, just be alert for signs something 'wrong' is going on.
All my kid's schools (preschool and elementary) had a rule "no kissing at school". They weren't allowed to kiss their friends...let alone their teachers. My son, who is big on rules, wouldn't let me kiss him good bye at school. "There is no kissing at school mom!". I thought it was so funny.
Remembering that, it makes me think this is even more weird. I mean, if it happened. It sounds like she is a little odd in the first place. Trying too hard. She has low self esteem and is having the kids attention and love compensate. And she might be trying to seem great to get the job as well. I'd be bothered.
I did kiss my kids on the lips when they were little. It didn't seem weird to me or my husband. Maybe our cultural back grounds. It seemed natural. When they were 5 or 6 it faded out mostly. My 9 year old daughter try to kiss me on the lips sometimes and I tell her she is too old but she can kiss my cheek.
We are a pretty affectionate family. I'm Italian and understand some cultures are more expressive. But I think most adults would understand it is not acceptable in a school setting.
Her son is so cute and seems happy. One of the good ones. But I know nothing else about their family. Which makes it all the more strange that she felt comfortable enough to do that. I would never in a million years even kiss my nephews and nieces on the lips let alone a stranger's child.
I believe this is going to be addressed on Monday. I'm nervous about it. I asked if the school had a policy and the director didn't know and said this is the first time it needed to be addressed. She said this particular teacher is very "affectionate" which is why she is mostly with the younger students who need more comforting. I don't know. I think some comfort is good but whenever I come in to the classroom, she is holding a child, or one is sitting on her lap. Ironically, the main teacher in that classroom quit right around the time she was hired. Wish I could have talked to her before she left.
I asked if the school had a policy and the director didn't know ...
You have no reason to be nervous. You have not done anything wrong.
Sure. sometimes little kids need comforting, but there are very blurry boundaries at work here. Your son did not need comforting at the time this was happening, and the fact that the director doesn't know if there is a policy that addresses this is alarming.
My 9 year old daughter try to kiss me on the lips sometimes and I tell her she is too old but she can kiss my cheek.
Why? How can one's child show inappropriate affection? I'm not being snarky, I truly don't see why a parent would say anything like that to a child.
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if there is a policy that addresses this is alarming.
