Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Money is the root to all evil. Dividing it equally leaves less pain all around.
Agree 100%.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SammyHagarrr
But rotten parents often have every excuse not to even provide for their childrens basic needs, especially those which are horrible with money.
It doesn't surprise me that people who feel this way often have children who are having troubles. Just look at the parents they had
Agree again; the dysfunction starts well before reading of the will. In particular, the narcissistic family tree, where a parent thrives on scapegoating and use any excuse dividing money unequally and excluding one or more children from the will; their last chance for the final f-u and poor relationships among siblings.
There are several good conversations in Caregiving Forum about this. Usually it is the daughter who takes over caregiving when the family decides Mom or Pop would only be happy with family around.
If the non caregiving children are grousing about "why should sister get it all" they need to stop and think about how much it would have cost for non family to do this work and probably there wouldn't be anything left and they might even have had to contribute money of their own.
I have made no decisions yet and I asked the question because I'm wondering how others thought. It is very interesting and informative to learn the different ways people view inheritance.
and what does "Yes you do" refer to? That one does have the right to leave their estate to an animal shelter (or anywhere else) or that one should leave it equally to all children?
To clarify, yes, you have the right to leave estates to anyone you wish. Consideration of your status; ' nasty and proud of it', which I notice you've since updated, my reason for asking. Don't think that went unnoticed by a sleuther.
Agree again; the dysfunction starts well before reading of the will. In particular, the narcissistic family tree, where a parent thrives on scapegoating and use any excuse dividing money unequally and excluding one or more children from the will; their last chance for the final f-u and poor relationships among siblings.
I agree with this. My mother had a horrible personality disorder (she was formally diagnosed with it) and she would threaten constantly to take people out of her will if they didn't do everything she told them to, disagreed with them on something, or disappointed her in the teeniest, tiniest little way.
I agree with this. My mother had a horrible personality disorder (she was formally diagnosed with it) and she would threaten constantly to take people out of her will if they didn't do everything she told them to, disagreed with them on something, or disappointed her in the teeniest, tiniest little way.
Ability for authentic relationships non-existant; master puppitiers dangle carrots. No need to look further than a parent as cause for dysfunction.
I would never use money as a tool to punish a loved one. Everyone gets their fair share.
I agree.
I would never disinherit a child. And the ones disinherited or receiving a lesser amount in favor of those currently suffering catastrophic illnesses, might be the ones encountering the same difficulties in the future.
If parents want to spend ALL their money, that's their business; it's their money. But as long as my husband and I are doling out the leftovers, it'll be done fairly.
It's generally every parent's nightmare that they won't be around to be able to lend a hand should their kids (adult kids, too) need it. And, yes, that also applies to unforeseeable financial challenges that might befall them.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
4,641 posts, read 11,944,596 times
Reputation: 9887
Oh, I could write a book on this topic.
My parents disinherited me. They were horrible, abusive people. They threatened me with a lot of stuff. Disinheritance was the least of my worries. I left at 18 and vowed never to return so not an issue. My mother is still alive and, I hear, planning to leave me something; but I believe she puts that out there in an effort to draw me back in. No thanks.
I think it's incredibly cowardly and immature to not tell the adult kids what's going on---or at least leave a written explanation. For one thing, it falls to your other children to deal with it. Speaking of which, I don't particularly dislike my siblings, but there is no way I want a relationship with them. If you truly to plan to disinherit somebody, consider that you are potentially destroying the family.
To clarify, yes, you have the right to leave estates to anyone you wish. Consideration of your status; ' nasty and proud of it', which I notice you've since updated, my reason for asking. Don't think that went unnoticed by a sleuther.
You're funny. It is in reference to Trump's remark. I am a proud Clinton supporter and not at all nasty. You can ask my 7 children.
To clarify, yes, you have the right to leave estates to anyone you wish. Consideration of your status; ' nasty and proud of it', which I notice you've since updated, my reason for asking. Don't think that went unnoticed by a sleuther.
I doubt NK's status has anything to do with the thread topic. Signed, Another Nasty.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bande1102
Oh, I could write a book on this topic.
My parents disinherited me. They were horrible, abusive people. They threatened me with a lot of stuff. Disinheritance was the least of my worries. I left at 18 and vowed never to return so not an issue. My mother is still alive and, I hear, planning to leave me something; but I believe she puts that out there in an effort to draw me back in. No thanks.
I think it's incredibly cowardly and immature to not tell the adult kids what's going on---or at least leave a written explanation. For one thing, it falls to your other children to deal with it. Speaking of which, I don't particularly dislike my siblings, but there is no way I want a relationship with them. If you truly to plan to disinherit somebody, consider that you are potentially destroying the family.
I don't see how your parents' actions are keeping you from having a relationship with your siblings. Are you punishing them for their inheritance?
I look at it as our money, to do with as we see fit, and where we think it will provide the most assistance. In our case, that excludes our eldest, who received much more than his siblings already. They all received their college educations paid for, they all got cars, and now they all have careers. But the eldest also has a very wealthy wife, and a house paid for by his in-laws, in addition to opting for a private high school and college. If he should feel entitled to more, well, frankly, that's on him.
My kids are as close as they can be when one lives a completely different life than the other two. Eldest books 5 star hotels, the other two bought camping gear, yet all seem happy. Good enough for me.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
