Neighbor Kid and advice

[Riley09swb]

Originally Posted by annabanana123

I can't imagine leaving a child without asking the other mom. Our son goes over to neighbors' homes and plays with other kids all the time. I watch him and check with the other parent if I want to run to the store or take the dog around the block first. They do the same with us. It's not a big unusual for our 3 yr old neighbor to come over with his bigger brother on their own but they are 2 houses down and mom always checks first. Super easy and sweet kid.

We all help each other out. In that scenario I'd say something like "can you check in before you leave your house if she's over here please? I need to know there's an adult there in case something were to happen." or "I'm happy to watch her today, is there any way you can watch my daughter tomorrow so I can run to the store?" You may be able to work out some sort of mutually beneficial system with that mom if you can get to know and trust her. If you don't trust her though obviously don't leave your daughter with her.

Good luck!

I do know her as we've owned this home for a few years. For the first couple of years, we were waving neighbors. We'd wave if we saw each other. We rented our house out for a period of time and when we moved back in Mary was around 1 1/2. We started to move beyond waving neighbors and we would chit chat and then we along with another neighbor started to plan cul-de-sac parties.

I do trust her but I have no interest in watching Mary for mom to run her errands. I schedule my grocery runs around if my husband is home or not. If he's not then the kids come and if they really don't want to go then I will wait for my DH to get home and I will go alone.

I think it has to do more with Mary's age that I have no interest in watching her. If the kids were the same age or closer in age it would be different.

[annabanana123]

I would tell the mom that and be upfront and honest with her. I'm a big fan of talking it out and being honest (not in a mean way, of course). I bet she just hasn't realized you had any issues with it because she wouldn't if your child was over there. At least that's what I've often found to be true.

[Riley09swb]

Originally Posted by annabanana123

I would tell the mom that and be upfront and honest with her. I'm a big fan of talking it out and being honest (not in a mean way, of course). I bet she just hasn't realized you had any issues with it because she wouldn't if your child was over there. At least that's what I've often found to be true.

You could be right. She was once mentioned to me something about trading babysitting but because I have IL's that live in our neighborhood I didn't really give it any thought. She does have family local and is able to use them and does use them when needed.

[JanND]

You are going to simply have to address this situation head on.

Your child is only seven....She is much too young for this woman to put the responsibilities on her for babysitting. I would severely limit this child from playing at your home, as this Mom has shown she utilizes these opportunities to leave her child alone.....without even asking you what your plans are.

Just tell this Mom that you have noticed there are times that she simply drives away while her daughter is left to her own devices, that is very irresponsible parenting. Tell her that she cannot continue to do this. If you lose this persons' "friendship"
so be it.....she is not a friend, she is an irresponsible neighbor/parent.

You'd be doing this mom a favor, checking her. This could be a life changing consequence to call her on this, think of her child.