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I don't understand punishment. How does it connect the child to the thing that is being done wrong and why?
A good punishment uses natural consequences, or tries to mimic what would happen in real life. For example, in real life, if you assault someone, then you go to jail. So if my child hits someone, then they go to timeout. In real life, if you misbehave at work, then you lose your job, and no longer have money for things you need or want. So if my child misbehaves at school, then I would take away privileges at home that cost money, like watching TV or using the iPad. That way when they are adults, they are accustomed to thinking about the consequences of their actions and can make better decisions.
I took away my daughter's electronics once because of grades because I thought the phone was a distraction. She got the phone back after a few weeks when her grades came back up.
I recall one spanking when I was a very young child. Other than that, I don't recall ever being punished. My father was a WWII Marine Corp veteran and a sharp word from him was all it took to make us toe the line. And all the other kids in the neighborhood, too!
A good punishment uses natural consequences, or tries to mimic what would happen in real life. For example, in real life, if you assault someone, then you go to jail. So if my child hits someone, then they go to timeout. In real life, if you misbehave at work, then you lose your job, and no longer have money for things you need or want. So if my child misbehaves at school, then I would take away privileges at home that cost money, like watching TV or using the iPad. That way when they are adults, they are accustomed to thinking about the consequences of their actions and can make better decisions.
I spanked my son with a belt one time. It was when he unjustly cold cocked his female cousin in the face when they were younger. He learned not to do that again.
so you used violence with violence with a belt...<snip>
Last edited by Miss Blue; 12-27-2016 at 04:14 PM..
Reason: the words jeezus christ are offensive to some posters
I always tried to make their punishment fit the crime and for it to be a teachable moment. I have two boys, so if they fought, they had to hug each other. They hated that, and I can count on one hand how many fights they had. They didn't do their chores? The were given more.
One time they joined other kids and smeared food on peoples cars. I went and destroyed a few items of theirs that they loved, right in front of them. That taught them how much it hurt to have your property messed with. Whenever they disobeyed I sat them down and explained what they did wrong and the consequences they caused. They also had things taken away.
I talked to my kids, a lot! Either I'm forgetting a bunch of stuff they did, or I was lucky and they were pretty good kids. Now days it seems parents just yell at the kids and the cycle continues. I was lucky to raise my boys before cell phones and computers though, parents today have it much rougher imo. Mine had video games, but they were put in every sport and activity I could find. I believe in keeping kids too busy to get into trouble. Idle hands ya know.
Oh, they're 40 & 43 and both wonderful, hard working members of society.
Also some parents want tips from others, which is still screwed up.
I think more parents should be open to learning from others and developing parenting skills. One of my parents was briefly a youth counselor before I was ever born and learned how much damage no discipline or downright abuse could do. Both two extremes to be sure.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815
I deal with my children the way that is best for them given the situation
Kudos. I expect most well-intentioned parents do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815
and its NONE of your business.
Ever notice a person standing on the opposite side of the street wait for the light to change, stride through the crosswalk, stand next to you and announce you're invading her personal space?
Me neither but Ohky0815's response is the online version.
Made the original post because I learned of an acquaintance who chose not to provide Christmas gifts due to their child's poor behavior. I don't know any specifics: age, severity and frequency of the behavioral issues, etc. Just made me wonder what those parents might have been through and what other disciplinary actions they likely tried along the way. This is a discussion forum and a space to ruminate and share experiences so... here I am.
Thanks to everyone who contributed on a potentially sensitive topic. Even going out of your way to tell me to mind my own business. hehe
Last edited by heavyweight; 12-27-2016 at 11:02 AM..
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They didn't do their chores? The were given more. 
