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It was actually my intent to be very helpful. The child will have a better experience, IMHO, with an excellent in home nanny, but you do have to consider that with a commercial daycare the baby is less likely to bond as well because the setting isn't as conducive to bonding with a daycare employee.
So that's something to consider. How upset will you be when the baby prefers the care of the nanny. If that would be too upsetting, maybe a licensed daycare facility would be a better fit.
If.
And children bond with the caregivers in a commercial childcare center as well. As they should. I dont know where you get the idea that day care centers are set up in a way that is not conducive to bonding. I'm guessing your experience is limited.
I find it a really disturbing thought that a parent would base their childcare choice on the hope that their child wouldn't bond. That's horrifying.
Last edited by maciesmom; 05-17-2017 at 09:37 AM..
I interview a 22 year old kid a few weeks ago who told me he was a parachute baby. I said, what is that!? He said it's when the kid's parents birth him and then just drop him off into the world letting other people care for them and giving them money. He was very nice and so far successful...but it seems like a cold way to live to me.
I'm asking about childcare costs and best way to arrange that childcare if I'm working from home, not whether I should continue my career or not. I'm also trying to plan my finances around these decisions. Because these are important things that I have no experience with - and something I want to plan ahead for.
Sorry you seem to be interpreting all kinds of strange things about my life priorities from my post based on the "vibe" you're feeling.
Excellent pushback on judgement posts! Good for you OP!!
You're wise to explore options early.
Local nanny agencies may have the resources (finances, information and talent) to get you started.
Childcare facilities may also be able to help provide information on expenses and staffing.
Neighbors and religious congregations may also know of local resources.
Working from home has it's challenges and advantages.
The early days and months of your child's life is critical for attachment to others in later years and balancing their nervous system.
Get the most calm and competent caretaker you can afford.
A supportive early start will provide a great foundation for future success.
There have been a lot of very helpful and thought provoking comments on here - thanks for those who have taken the time to write up personal experiences and constructive suggestions. This is all so helpful to me.
(btw - it's pretty funny when posters who are judging hiring caretakers also have other threads in which they mention that they have nannies/ send their kids to programs/ etc.)
(btw - it's pretty funny when posters who are judging hiring caretakers also have other threads in which they mention that they have nannies/ send their kids to programs/ etc.)
Welcome to the world of parenting. So much time to judge each other yet so little time to sleep
Welcome to the world of parenting. So much time to judge each other yet so little time to sleep
Well, you know to be a good parent, you need to listen to everyone who tells you that you are doing it wrong and to do it their way!
OP- people gave you good advice about pricing various childcare options around you. You have stated that you would like to keep working after the little one arrives but what happens if you decide to stop working for a while? Many women have changed their minds about working once the baby was physically here- can you swing that? Not saying that you have to or want to but it's something to think about.
How is your home set up- will there be a section for the baby that's far enough away from your offices so that the normal child noises won't be heard while you/your husband are on business calls? If you hire a nanny, will you also need a housekeeper? Will the nanny be required to do light housekeeping as well as care for your child? The time that you now spend on household tasks before baby will probably be used to spend time with baby.
You also need to consider what options would be available to you if you had a special needs child. Sometimes things happen and it's best to be prepared for all sorts of situations.
My husband and I are in a similar boat. He works from home full time for himself. I work in an office but I can work from home when needed. He will probably try to get what he can done during the day when I'm out, but will probably end up working more at night once I'm home. If he has to have an important meeting during the day time, we will have to plan ahead of time so I can be home.
You've gotten some great advice about planning and pricing. My only advice is to make sure that you also plan for the possibility that you may change your mind once the baby is here. I have had friends who had spent their whole life planning to SAH only to realize that they really wanted to work full-time or part-time. And I've known friends who planned to go back, that changed their mind as well. Since it sounds like your finances give you some choices, I just wanted to throw that out there and let yourself be open to that if it happens.
I own my own marketing and consulting business and am able to make a similar salary to yours with complete flexibility over my workload and hours and clients. It has really allowed me to juggle being a mom and working for myself and bringing in a good income. I cut back on clients and projects over the summer and schedule my deadlines/meetings around my kids activities/breaks. This has especially been true as the kids were in school and teens. It was the best decision I've ever made.
With your skills and experience, it may be something you want to think about down the road. It's been the perfect solution for our family and other people I know who have done something similar.
Oh another option is an au pair. Our neighbors are both busy in their careers. They have a new au pair every year from the UK. Its always a young woman. She does everything, I have actually only seen the parents once. But she seems to get 9-3 off while the kids are in school but does mornings and evenings and weekends. Its another option if you are interested in a live-in nanny.
I personally wouldn't want a different person (Au pair) caring for my child every year. I wouldwant to find someone who would be caring for my child long term. it's not good for children to keep getting different caregivers.
Also in regards to Au Pairs.....My boss had one. He used a company to find one and she was AWFUL, actually he went through 4 before he said forget it and found a nanny form the U.S. Au Pairs are from other countries and typically are VERY young. They can barely speak English and most can't even drive. The one's they had refused to get up in the night with the baby, wouldn't stick to the feeding schedule they gave her and one even left with their vehicle for 2 days without asking! They couldn't just fire them either. They had to wait for the agency to find them somewhere else to go. So they were stuck with some of these girls for weeks still feeding them, etc. Ridiculous!
"Strong careers" should make an aupair affordable. Our daughter and her husband just had their last one return home. Both are self-employed and were able to spend a lot of time with their four kids. Now one will remain home and use a part-time nanny. Now over the hump, so to speak, I'm not sure what they'll do. But I know that their children's needs will come first. If a child would be inconvenient right now, wait a while. I'm concerned that yours is a biological clock question.
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