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Just because the day care won't break the confidentiality of the other child/children it does not mean that there were "no consequences".
The school never told me who it was either, because of confidentiality, but my son was a good talker and he told me and I would have him point to make sure I heard the name right. I would ask the teachers to confirm, and they couldn't, but you could tell by their look that I had said the right name. It was always the same kid...
You have absolutely no idea that there were "no consequences". For all that you know the child was given two warnings and after the third bite they were kicked out and right now those parents are scrambling to find a new day center. Or the child was moved to a different room. Or it was three different children and they each had a formal warning. Or after the third time they increased the staffing to the room or moved the offender to a different room. Or they requested that the parent contact their pediatrician to have the child be evaluated for special needs. Or any number of different scenarios.
Just because the day care won't break the confidentiality of the other child/children it does not mean that there were "no consequences".
You're right, I'm sure they have done something. But since they won't tell me what, I can only go off what I know. I'll know when I pick her up today if they've removed anyone because each kid as a shelf in the room and there aren't that many kids. So, if the shelves are in tact, the kid is still there. I know they send letters home with the parents, but seriously, how is that a consequence?
From talking to other daycare workers, biting 3 times in a week isn't enough to remove someone. Even biting 3 times a day isn't enough. That sucks for the kids getting bitten, but sure seems like no real consequence for the biter since they get to stay and continue with their poor behavior.
Ultimately I just feel bad leaving my daughter somewhere knowing that she's going to be bitten. How am I supposed to ignore that?
Kids do bite, but three times in a week is excessive.
Talk to the director of the school and ask that another aid be put in the room to help keep an eye on the kids. Also tell him/her that if your child comes home with another bite mark you're going to move her and report on social media that the school isn't keeping children safe. But if you're going to make that threat you need to be prepared to follow through with it.
As others have alluded to, this isn't a situation where the daycare needs to tell you the details of the offender, but they absolutely need to tell you the actions they've taken to reduce future risks. Press them on this.
If they won't or can't tell you what they're doing, I'd start shopping around for another daycare. The biting might die down, but what about the next thing? I wouldn't want a daycare where the standard response to a legitimate safety concern is "it's not really your business".
As others have alluded to, this isn't a situation where the daycare needs to tell you the details of the offender, but they absolutely need to tell you the actions they've taken to reduce future risks. Press them on this.
If they won't or can't tell you what they're doing, I'd start shopping around for another daycare. The biting might die down, but what about the next thing? I wouldn't want a daycare where the standard response to a legitimate safety concern is "it's not really your business".
It's the same once they start school. Something happens and a parent is notified but they won't tell you the other child involved or anything about the other kid's punishment.
None of my 3 were bitten at daycare. Guess I'm lucky? I would never accept the school's response. Fine, if they didn't want to tell me who it is but I'd sure want to know that they've discussed this with the other parent(s). Actually I'd want to know what they are going to do to make sure it doesn't happen again (especially if it's the same child biting!). Are they punishing the child - time out, what? They need to be doing something!
None of my 3 were bitten at daycare. Guess I'm lucky? I would never accept the school's response. Fine, if they didn't want to tell me who it is but I'd sure want to know that they've discussed this with the other parent(s). Actually I'd want to know what they are going to do to make sure it doesn't happen again (especially if it's the same child biting!). Are they punishing the child - time out, what? They need to be doing something!
Mine wasn't either, but he wasn't full time. Actually, he was never bitten at any of the places we went, classes he went to, or play dates we had.
Frequently biting is an action by less verbal kids who are around bigger or older kids. Once they see it "works" it takes some time to train the behavior away. It's likely it is actually one of the younger kids who moved with your daughter who bit one of the older toddlers and saw what a strong reaction it got.
There is actually a "don't bite your friends" song which can be really helpful at that age. Teach it to your daughter and suggest it to the teacher as well.
As for the snide daycare comments, many younger siblings bite older ones, even if there is a stay at home parent. Biting is just part of being a young toddler.
I absolutely would not leave my child there. She had a bruise on her back for 5 days? That would have been her last day if I were her parent.
Biting is dangerous and is NOT normal - it can be stopped if the parents put their foot down.
When I was growing up there was a boy in my neighborhood that bit other kids. One day he bit me. My mom marched me down to his house and when his mom answered the door she told her that her son had bitten me and I was going to bite him back. I bit the xxxx out of him and he never bit another kid again. The mom called my mom a few months later to thank her for having me bite him.
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