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Again practically unheard of. I was also a stay at home mother of 5 children, Something the women's movement pretty much did away with.
The women's movement also gave women like me the right to remain VOLUNTARILY child-free and single/unmarried without society considering us to be freaks of nature.
Actually, I have a family member who "had to get married" back in the 1940s, at the age of 19.
Yes, I cackle when I hear folks trying to imply that society was full of Polly Pure types up until THE SIXTIES, when all hell broke loose thanks to those damned feminists upsetting the apple cart.
They need to go back to the Victorian Era when men were having more and better sex with prostitutes than they were having with their wives. Even Victoria's own son who succeeded her had a publicly acknowledged mistress. Several, in fact.
I am truly sorry your son has gotten himself into this very situation. I myself became a mom at a very young age, I was 14 with my first and 16 with my second and two more at the age's of 24/26 all with the same man and we are a very rare breed of people I guess you could say. We had parents who were so busy doing other things than parenting that the had no idea what was going on in our lives. My parents never spoke of sex and neither did his. We were never taught it at school either. we attended private Christian schools. This was thirty+ yrs ago and we hid it till it was way to late for adoption or abortion. My parents were so busy working that they didn't even see me enough to realize I was pregnant till I was 8 months along. I hid it well. Even worse in their book, my husband is black. It all worked out, we left town and moved far away and went on with our lives the best way we could with the help of friends and family that were not such hateful people.
Your son can along with his girlfriend make this a positive experience if you send him to parenting classes free from the health department. Talk to her parents and tell them you don't think this should be a good thing and they need to come up with a plan of action so this doesn't happen again. get them the protection and make them work and pay for this baby as my husband and I did. We raised our kids but we did do the right thing and get protection and reframe from sex for a long time, the second time was a total mystery to us, we were on birth control and we were taking care of the situation but we were too late for an abortion by the time we found out we were prego again. We waited till we were able to handle more kids before we had any more. You can't be upset about it being your fault, it's not, TV, School's friends and just impulse makes things happen. I should have been properly taught and maybe my son Dillon might not be here on this planet but I do not regret him at all. He is a great human and father to his own kids and if you ignore this kid you will feel horrible in the end. I am myself an adopted kid, I was adopted in 1974 and my bio parents know my kids but my children never got to know their legal grandparents because my parents kicked us out and disowned us because of us getting pregnant and being a mixed couple. My kids have not missed out on anything really due to they don't need drama in their lives, but love and understanding my go along way in your situation. You have to talk to your son, and be like ok your stuck now what and what your plan of action and so one. the more yelling and disappoint you show the worse he is going to ignore and hate on you. You are in it now , you have to stand strong but give him the same love and support that you did before. He can still be a success in life and do the things he planned on, just with an added worry of supplying the child with love and money for support. the chances of them staying together are very low and everyone told me, but I just made it happen and worked my ass off to keep my family together, It's very rare but be ready to be there when it fall's apart for him, but be a good grandma because if you don't you will regret it, my parents did. I wish you and these kids luck with this child, but I hope for the best for you all.
I am just very weary of girls being held responsible for birth control when it should be shared by both boys and girls and by both women and men. No male should expect the female to be the person responsible for birth control.
Ideally you are right and that is a good standard that both halves of a sexually active couple should aim for. But unfortunately in the real world, any girl who doesn't take the time and trouble to manage her birth control options is risking an unplanned pregnancy. The best person to take care of me in such a situation is me, and if the guy does give it some thought I certainly appreciate it and that's a plus. But I'm not going to depend on him, because I'm the one whose life is going to be wrecked.
A parent posted. I'm talking to parents. I thought this was self-evident. Parents have the absolutely insane idea that teaching your kids having sex is totally a valid option as long as you use a condom (responsibility!!!). I'm saying that's hogwash.
I think its hogwash to live with your head in the sand and not address reality.
Reality states I do not know what choices my son will make with his body. Reality states it is HIS body, not mine.
Reality states use of a condom can prevent unwanted pregnancy and STDs.
Reality states that knowledge is power.
Reality states I'd rather arm my son with knowledge than ply him with BS that may cause his life to become derailed.
I would never do such a dumb thing. I just hope not many people do. It's really awful, irresponsible, and dehumanizing. Of course I would not be so careless. I hope others take the time to think this through too, as such behavior is not only bad for the individual, but for society at large.
Well, many people have had sex before marriage and they are not awful or responsible nor do they believe it to be dehumanizing.
The horse has left the barn on the casual sex or no sex before marriage it is almost impossible to find two virgins at the alter these days. Sad though that is, and given I say it. At least we were virgins with each other and never had sex with anyone else in these 50 years of marriage. Again practically unheard of. I was also a stay at home mother of 5 children, Something the women's movement pretty much did away with.
Bull.
I know SEVEN (7) stay at home moms in my social circle.
There is nothing wrong with pre-marital sex. Only societal constructs make it "wrong."
I am amazed at how blase many of the posters are to the challenges these two are facing. This is literally cycle-of-poverty in action.
I'm not blase about it at all. I was a young single mother without any marketable skills. I'm still happy I did not abort or farm out my son to someone else. His existence is a blessing to me.
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