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That may be true if the mom is gone to the spa all day but generally the nanny is simply helping the mom who is present.
Unless there’s 4 or 5 kids it still seems lazy to me. I actually know a girl with 5 kids who doesn’t work but has a nanny. I can see why she could use one but also wonder why have 5 kids in the first place if you need to hire a 3rd person to help out.
To all the gents who get the earfull. I'm sorry. And I sincerely mean that.
The moment the sahp harps . I often want to say.
Okay so where's your half of the payment for: car payment,gas,car insurance, medical bills,county taxes,school taxes,family vacations, mortgage,utilities,food,salon, clothing,personal care items,home repairs. Ohh you mean you don't pay any of that? Ohh I'm sure many folks would love to have all those perks . But complain because you 'sacrificed' your career? Here. .return all those perks..get a job and then do your best as a parent/career person. Pay your shares and then maybe you can tell the other spouse how they can improve. Til then count every blessing that someone is providing so you can have the freedom to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Perhaps harsh ..so when they say they are a nurse,chauffeur, and all the other skills necessary to raise a child...ask to see their degrees/certifications. Just because I balance a check book doesn't make me an accountant.
To all the gents who get the earfull. I'm sorry. And I sincerely mean that.
The moment the sahp harps . I often want to say.
Okay so where's your half of the payment for: car payment,gas,car insurance, medical bills,county taxes,school taxes,family vacations, mortgage,utilities,food,salon, clothing,personal care items,home repairs. Ohh you mean you don't pay any of that? .
She has paid it through the free childcare that you are getting, and possibly elder care too, if she's helping out her parents or in-laws. Have you ever seen how much daycare costs for two small children? Infant care is even more expensive. Some SAHMs care for their elderly inlaws (your parents!) and if they were left in a nursing home or assisted care, the costs would easily be $100,000 a year or more. If the SAHM is saving you that much money, she's probably earning "more" than you are. At the same time, she's losing out on 401K that she could be getting through a job, enabling you to put more money in your retirement funds.
Do you really think SAHMs don't have any money of their own that they contribute to the household? Seriously?
If you didn't want your wife to be a SAHM you should have talked about this prior to marriage. Why didn't you?
Unless there’s 4 or 5 kids it still seems lazy to me. I actually know a girl with 5 kids who doesn’t work but has a nanny. I can see why she could use one but also wonder why have 5 kids in the first place if you need to hire a 3rd person to help out.
It's her business, not your's. As well as the decision to have five children - her business. You are already showing you don't respect her because you are referring to her as a "girl" instead of "woman".
People who whine about those who hire nannies are usually displaying class envy. Let's face it, wealthier people can afford to hire help. The rants about women who hire nannies usually boil down to jealousy.
Unless there’s 4 or 5 kids it still seems lazy to me. I actually know a girl with 5 kids who doesn’t work but has a nanny. I can see why she could use one but also wonder why have 5 kids in the first place if you need to hire a 3rd person to help out.
If someone can afford to hire a nanny this should not concern you whether they have 1 child or a dozen. Raising 5 kids is certainly a full time job and how many people do you know who hold down full time jobs and don't have some outside help, even if it is simply pre school for the young ones?
So that's two anecdotes now from sole breadwinners with SAHM wives where neither party is happy with their situation and they clearly resent each other on some level. It's an interesting counterexample to all the propaganda we're always fed about how great the 1950's were, when women stayed home and raised the children and supported their working husbands, until the evil feminists came along and convinced women to go out and work. Thanks, I'm gonna keep my 2-income household, it's clearly working better out better for us than the alternative. Yes I know, #NotAllSAHP - point being, it's not the instant utopia it's often made out to be.
I am not going to take time to read all the responses but I have a grand daughter who has chosen to be a stay at home mom. She does not complain. She does have a house keeper every other week, big deal and she does volunteer work at her kids school. Even with the 2 in school she finds plenty to occupy her time. loves to help her grandma when grandma needs help, is always available when her working sister needs help with her 3 girls. I do not think many stay at home moms run around griping. If they do, they can always change their life style if they want. It is up to them to make the decisions that will work best for them.
I’m aware it’s her business but that’s the beauty of these forums. We are free to make judgements on the choices some people make.
I don’t know that it is jealousy. Of course I have the money to hire someone to help me but I also enjoy spending time with my kids and want to be as involves as I can. There are plenty of wealthy women who stay home and don’t hire a nanny. We have a babysitter.
Priscilla vanilla this isn’t the first time I’ve seen you tell people they’re jealous about something . Newsflash: money isn’t the all time answer to happiness even though you seem to think it is. All your posts reek of elitism. You give women and men a bad name.
Last edited by Bridge781; 01-13-2020 at 02:18 PM..
Reason: !
I don’t understand why it always has to come down to jealousy when someone questions someone else’s choices. I also question why a mother would choose formula when they could breastfeed. I’m not jealous lol.
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