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Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 22 days ago)
35,707 posts, read 18,065,864 times
Reputation: 50771
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OP, it sounds like in your family, there's only one child at a time at a gathering, and so there's nothing at all for that child to do besides latch on to an adult who will play with them?
I'm surprised the parents let the child bug you like that, for one thing, but really, there needs to be more for them to do to entertain themselves.
By the time you played the second game with her she thought you were her playmate
Rule number 0ne. If you go to visit the adults then be kind to their child with a bit of small talk if child is within your sight when you arrive. " Hi sweetie, (or their name) how are you today?" and let it go. She will probably go back to what she was doing.
If parents allow the child to keep pestering you to play or interrupting the adult conversation, it is up to the parents to correct the child, if they don't then just make your next visit to their home long way off.
Hello, i'm 20 years old, i don't have my own kids or younger siblings and i'm really bad in communicating with kids. Every time i stay with my niece or some other kids i have trouble communicating with them and it's really confusing. I can either ignor them or play with them, but last option turns into another trouble. For example, once i visited my relatives, they have little daughter, so i tried to be friendly and played some game with her. It wasn't too interesting for me, but i felt like i had to do it. And then for the rest of the day i wasn't able to get rid of her. She interrupted every conversation i had with other people and kept asking me to play with her. This happens all the time when i try to play with kids, they kinda treat me like i'm the same age as they or idk. They can be even offensive towards me and i just don't know what to do. And if we talk just about communication, i feel awkward and prefer just ignore kids, but it's not what i want, so basic question: what should i do?
Whatever you ACTUALLY want. Every interaction lays the foundation for your boundaries with that person, no matter their age.
If you don't want to play, don't. If you don't care about dinosaurs or paw patrol or Dora, don't pretend you do. They're only reacting to your fake interest.
If I fake to our neighbor that I have interest in their lawn, pruning, and pesticide habits, whose fault is it when that neighbor gets excited and now calls me over every time they get a new seed, chemical, aerator, etc.? MINE.
Children are just smaller people. Talk about things; you don't need to pretend anything. Acknowledge them/introduce yourself as you would with any person. If you don't get on, that's fine. You don't have to like every child, just like you don't have to like every adult. They don't have to like you either. Maybe you don't DISLIKE each other but you don't have to be friends with everyone's kids.
If parents allow the child to keep pestering you to play or interrupting the adult conversation, it is up to the parents to correct the child, if they don't then just make your next visit to their home long way off.
Nope. lol - they're just people. If an adult kept interrupting or tried to pull me away from my conversation, I'd tell them to wait too. That interrupting isn't nice. Or, that I'm not really into x-thing. I DO. I have a few friends and relatives who are just attention-w***es, for lack of a better term. They're always worse with a drink or several in them. They interrupt way more. I love them but they're so needy sometimes. "DUDE, STOP. we get it; you like horror movies. You've said so probably 30 times. We don't like horror movies but we do like British murders. THAT is what we're talking about now, k? Geezus." It's FINE. It's no more rude to tell someone THAT they're being rude than their own rudeness is. The earlier they realize that, the better. Unfortunately, some people become adults before they do, if they ever do.
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