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I know nothing about an early childhood intervention program and wouldn't even know where to begin that search. Her speech therapist told me her biggest problem was with expressive communication and that's what they focused on during their sessions. She is incredibly sweet and loving and the teachers say she spends most of her time coming up to them to give them hugs and hang out with them rather than playing or spending time with her peers. I can admit to not encouraging her to play with other children when we are at the park or playground. I am a high-anxiety helicopter mom and I do get very nervous when she is around other kids and feel they are being too rough. Sometimes I just find it easier to grab her and leave when it gets too busy with lots of kids. I'm sure that has an impact on her....
There is early intervention in every state (if you live in the US). You don't need a referral, but your pediatrician can give you one. When she turns 3, the program defaults to your neighborhood public school.
It’s weird to me that the teacher even said anything to you. Many people have only children especially when the kid is their first kid and only two. Wow.
At this age she is getting plenty of exposure to other kids as well. Some kids out there are only around their parents until 3 or 4
I would maybe have her evaluated for autism but I’m not sure to be honest. I don’t think this sounds unusual.
It’s weird to me that the teacher even said anything to you. Many people have only children especially when the kid is their first kid and only two. Wow.
At this age she is getting plenty of exposure to other kids as well. Some kids out there are only around their parents until 3 or 4
I would maybe have her evaluated for autism but I’m not sure to be honest. I don’t think this sounds unusual.
She is new at this school and has only been there for ~4 months. This new school is play based, her old school was not play based (it was very regimented and structured). Not sure if that has something to do with it. When I hear about autism signs, none of them really identify with her outside of the delay in speech.
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Lady, it sounds like you believe she is suffering from a lack of exposure to other children, but she's in full time daycare at this point, so her interactions with other children are on-going, consistent, and take up most of her awake time. I don't think you need to get her further involved in activities with children - "fulltime" is enough.
Kids come in all varieties, and you may have a perfectly normally progressing quiet, cautious child. Which is fine.
But the fact that she's overly affectionate with adults and ignores her peers is a red flag. Is she really affectionate with kind-looking teachers at her school that she does not know, or is it just really her main teacher who she knows very well?
Also, it sounds like she's not new to full-time daycare, which would explain some of her lack of socialization with other children - she was also in full time daycare in another location where you lived?
I'd call her pediatrician next week and get a referral for an evaluation with an OT.
Lady, it sounds like you believe she is suffering from a lack of exposure to other children, but she's in full time daycare at this point, so her interactions with other children are on-going, consistent, and take up most of her awake time. I don't think you need to get her further involved in activities with children - "fulltime" is enough.
Kids come in all varieties, and you may have a perfectly normally progressing quiet, cautious child. Which is fine.
But the fact that she's overly affectionate with adults and ignores her peers is a red flag. Is she really affectionate with kind-looking teachers at her school that she does not know, or is it just really her main teacher who she knows very well?
Also, it sounds like she's not new to full-time daycare, which would explain some of her lack of socialization with other children - she was also in full time daycare in another location where you lived?
I'd call her pediatrician next week and get a referral for an evaluation with an OT.
She is only affectionate with her teachers that she is now finally comfortable with. She does not do well with strangers. She has been in full-time daycare since the age of 1.5 and she is now about to turn 3. There are no kids her age in the picture on evenings and weekends. All her interaction with littles her age is during the day while at school.
As an only child who grew up in a pretty much kid-free neighborhood, I have a few suggestions.
Get her involved in some age-appropriate activities outside of your household where she will interact with other children. Just make sure SHE is interested in it or she will retreat into her shell more. My mother insisted I take ballet. I HATED it. I was 3 years old and loathed everything about it. She needs to have fun while learning how to interact with her peers. Playgroups are another option.
Read to her. Do it every day.
Do things after work. Take her places like the library and the park. Take her on hikes and to cultural events. Be social when you're out so that you model that behavior for her. Look, my parents were very social people, but we tended to just come home and hang out, with me playing on my own. Then they'd take me to social occasions with them and shove me to be social and interact with other kids and adults despite it not being something I was comfortable with. You have to demonstrate and let her know there's nothing to be scared of. Give her opportunity but don't SHOVE her. Let her observe you and copy you when she is ready.
I could be totally off. I just am thinking of what I was like as a kid and my parents being totally clueless about what to do with me. My mother was also completely nuts with a poor sense of boundaries, so I tended to go wallflower around her.
My cousins have kids, and watching what they do, I am very impressed. They take their kids to all kinds of events (free events, I might add), museums, day trips, whatever. The kids are all insanely social, but they've been out in the world and exposed to all kinds of things.
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Originally Posted by LadyMill00
She is only affectionate with her teachers that she is now finally comfortable with. She does not do well with strangers. She has been in full-time daycare since the age of 1.5 and she is now about to turn 3. There are no kids her age in the picture on evenings and weekends. All her interaction with littles her age is during the day while at school.
But she's there full-time, is the thing.
This isn't a child who is isolated from peers, at all. She's in a classroom full of same age children full time.
It's fine for kids to have a little time without peers, although for general socialization purposes it would be helpful if you had a circle of friends so she could witness and participate in what friendships look like.
I know you just moved there - have you made any headway making friends with other families?
Her teacher has brought up the concern that she doesn't play with her classmates. Her classmates all play with each other but she just picks up a toy and sits down to go play alone. She also is delayed with her speech and can't concentrate on playing with one object for a few minutes. Those two things we know about because we had her in speech therapy most of this year and she only plays with a toy for 5-10 seconds before she moves onto the next thing.
We are first-time parents and not sure how to take this. Her teachers say she is very smart but there are some issues with comprehending and making connections. She has been behind in all her milestones....late walker, late talker, etc.
You mentioned she went to mommy & me classes and attends school 8 hours a day for five days a week. This is more interaction than 99% of kids ever get.
The problem is the highlighted parts above.
"Can't concentrate on playing with one object for a few minutes" and "she only plays with a toy for 5-10 seconds" and "some issues with comprehending" isn't about her shyness. Introverted children can play for hours with the same toy. Your daughter seems to have a processing issues.
Her teacher has been trained to development issues. Ask her what your next steps should be. She know your daughter better than any person on C-D.
Her teacher has been trained to development issues. Ask her what your next steps should be. She know your daughter better than any person on C-D.
She's only been in that school 4 months, and with those hours it basically sounds like day care.
And again ... the child is only two.
The teacher only pointed out that she doesn't play with her classmates, which is not a kiss of death by any means and no reason to panic. OP I have no idea how autism came into the picture since nothing you have described matches with that.
Somehow she ended up in speech therapy. Who suggested that? I assume it was her doctor. Teachers are not supposed to diagnose their students. Consult your pediatrician for any medical/psycho/emotional concerns, and if you believe your current doc is too conservative and not considering all options, find another one.
I'm all for early intervention but when a two-year-old is placed in speech therapy because her language is not "expressive enough," I'm thinking this is a parental problem.
A friend who has a PhD in Biology has not-quite-three-year-old twins. These children were somewhat slow to talk, and they're still doing parallel play rather than playing with each other...and they are twins who are around each other day and also have older siblings. They don't need therapy, because this is normal behavior for toddlers!
The OP's daughter may be a late bloomer, but having high-anxiety helicopter parents is only going make any issues worse and possibly create new ones. I think Mom needs parenting classes, honestly, and maybe therapy to deal with her anxiety.
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