Gender neutral parenting changing gender marker (support, girls, clothes, play)

[ClaraC]

I think many parents didn't overly stress gender for our kids when my now 20something kids were growing up. Small children were offered a variety of toys, from building block toys, art supplies, doll/human figure toys (btw, that's where GI Joe doll came from - boys wanting barbie dolls but parents not willing to allow that), stuffed animals, puzzles, sporting equipment, foam rocket launchers, etc.

We also refrained from saying "big boys don't cry" when the child is upset, or "act like a little lady" if the girl is assertive or athletically competitive. Parents of girls tended to try to comment on how smart or kind or creative they were, rather than how pretty.

But by and large, boys chose to play with traditional boy toys, and girls typically girl toys, but it wasn't forced OR prohibited. And girls did seem to want to be princesses.

Just let your child be who the child is, and no, don't take his gender ID away from him when he's 7 if he can truly never change the ID back for himself.

I'm curious, though. Does X in the gender spot mean basically none of your business, like when you choose not to answer what race you are, or does X mean you consider yourself to be without gender?

[HappyFarm34]

This whole gender thing is ridiculous! Be happy being whatever you are and the same for children. Let kids be kids.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by ClaraC

I think many parents didn't overly stress gender for our kids when my now 20something kids were growing up. Small children were offered a variety of toys, from building block toys, art supplies, doll/human figure toys (btw, that's where GI Joe doll came from - boys wanting barbie dolls but parents not willing to allow that), stuffed animals, puzzles, sporting equipment, foam rocket launchers, etc.

We also refrained from saying "big boys don't cry" when the child is upset, or "act like a little lady" if the girl is assertive or athletically competitive. Parents of girls tended to try to comment on how smart or kind or creative they were, rather than how pretty.

But by and large, boys chose to play with traditional boy toys, and girls typically girl toys, but it wasn't forced OR prohibited. And girls did seem to want to be princesses.

Just let your child be who the child is, and no, don't take his gender ID away from him when he's 7 if he can truly never change the ID back for himself.

I'm curious, though. Does X in the gender spot mean basically none of your business, like when you choose not to answer what race you are, or does X mean you consider yourself to be without gender?

This is interesting. What era was that, that the girls wanted to be princesses? That wasn't a thing when I was growing up. I first heard of it sometime in the 90's. I think there was a cartoon show, or some popular show for girls, that featured princesses, so it caught on, and then there was merchandising of the character, so princess dolls appeared, and it became a full-blown trend. Before that there were a lot more tomboys among the girls, it seems. The girls I knew preferred stuffed animals to dolls, loved to build forts, climb trees, ride bikes and skates (and skateboards), and go exploring and adventuring in nature. No one wanted to be a princess, or anything frilly, lol.

[buddy5]

I have a gender marker. I won't show it on here, not enough space available.

Originally Posted by HappyFarm34

This whole gender thing is ridiculous! Be happy being whatever you are and the same for children. Let kids be kids.

^^^ Simple but true. ^^^

[ClaraC]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

This is interesting. What era was that, that the girls wanted to be princesses? That wasn't a thing when I was growing up. I first heard of it sometime in the 90's. I think there was a cartoon show, or some popular show for girls, that featured princesses, so it caught on, and then there was merchandising of the character, so princess dolls appeared, and it became a full-blown trend. Before that there were a lot more tomboys among the girls, it seems. The girls I knew preferred stuffed animals to dolls, loved to build forts, climb trees, ride bikes and skates (and skateboards), and go exploring and adventuring in nature. No one wanted to be a princess, or anything frilly, lol.

Yes. In the 90's when my kids were little.

When I was growing up, we didn't play princesses.

[Podo944]

Originally Posted by Bitey

I swear, half the girls in my generation who were considered "tomboys" yet were unmistakably female would have been shoved into "gender reassignment therapy" or some such nonsense in today's crazy world.

I wasn't a "tomboy" in the usual sense by playing boys sports etc. but I didn't fit the stereotypical "girly girl" either as a kid. I couldn't stand Barbie dolls and the one doll I did have, I cut off all her hair. What I did like was to "explore", make forts and had imaginary animal friends like Bambi. I wanted to live in the woods. I had a best friend who also liked those things and we were stuck together like glue.

At some point we had heard about "lesbians"... that there were girls who loved girls. Innocently, we decided we were lesbians because we were best friends who loved each other and we often hugged and kissed each other. Lol! Of course we caught on a bit more about the details of that situation as we grew into preteens and when adolescence hit we were completely boy crazy!!!

I do have to wonder though in today's world if we would have been assumed to actually be gay or trans or something by the adults wanting so much to normalize and celebrate alternative lifestyles, and it does concern me. I'm very live and let live, but think kids need to discover what their sexuality is naturally without "well meaning" social influences. I'm for sure, very against pushing the idea of hormones etc. to stop adolescence, and think there will be a lot of regret down the line by parents who engage in that.

[nobodysbusiness]

Why would you get to arbitrarily decide his gender, especially if it's different from the sex designated at birth?

[Toxic Waltz]

Originally Posted by Free35

Hi,

I'm a mother from a 7 years old son, who grows from it's birth into a gender neutral way.
My child is wearing boys and girls clothing plays with boys and girls toys , he is both.
He is signed with the M ( male ) marker.

From out of 1 of July it is legal for citizen of my country to change the gender marker to X what's means genderless/neutral for once after this change it can't turn back.

Now I'm start thinking that it's would be good for my child that I write out his gender marker M ( male ) and describe my cild again with gender marker X , so that my child become genderless/neutral by law.

Is it worth to do it and let my son become a genderless/neutral person

It won't help your son any but it will give you virtue points with your progressive friends. Whatever you choose, don't tell your son about it. There will be less confusion, and it's likely you care about this more than he does. Try not to be too disappointed if he chooses to identify as a boy, which is his most likely choice by far.

[Mrs. Skeffington]

Originally Posted by Podo944

I wasn't a "tomboy" in the usual sense by playing boys sports etc. but I didn't fit the stereotypical "girly girl" either as a kid. I couldn't stand Barbie dolls and the one doll I did have, I cut off all her hair. What I did like was to "explore", make forts and had imaginary animal friends like Bambi. I wanted to live in the woods. I had a best friend who also liked those things and we were stuck together like glue.

At some point we had heard about "lesbians"... that there were girls who loved girls. Innocently, we decided we were lesbians because we were best friends who loved each other and we often hugged and kissed each other. Lol! Of course we caught on a bit more about the details of that situation as we grew into preteens and when adolescence hit we were completely boy crazy!!!

I do have to wonder though in today's world if we would have been assumed to actually be gay or trans or something by the adults wanting so much to normalize and celebrate alternative lifestyles, and it does concern me. I'm very live and let live, but think kids need to discover what their sexuality is naturally without "well meaning" social influences. I'm for sure, very against pushing the idea of hormones etc. to stop adolescence, and think there will be a lot of regret down the line by parents who engage in that.

Me, too! I wasn't "girly" until high school when I started doing my nails, wearing makeup, etc. I had such a lack of interest in clothes and my personal appearance up until then. I loved my favorite baby doll, and I had a "Pebbles Flintstone" doll, of course (who didn't then?) I HATED having to wear a dress. I remember Kindergarten (it was half day session then, early 60's), when I had to come in before lunch, take off my pants or overalls, get bathed, and put on a petticoat and dress. Oh, the horror. I really disliked those dresses and ruffled petticoats I had to wear. To punish me, my mother would make me wear the frilliest dress I owned. I'd have to sit on the porch all afternoon, I couldn't play in it. I'd have rather been whipped.

When I was 13, a friend and I took it upon ourselves to climb a rock quarry in the woods behind where we lived. Boys had done it, and we wanted to. Well, why not? I got 1/3 of the way up, and fell, I went home with torn jeans, and skinned hands and arms. My punishment? Sewing school!!!!!! I had to have a past time more suitable for a young lady than climbing rocks. Bad enough I was forced to take sewing in home ec. "Young ladies" aren't supposed to be mountain climbers, I guess, not then.

Edit: Presently I own only three dresses (one is black and only for funerals). I don't own a single "petticoat".

[Dwatted Wabbit]

Originally Posted by rose88

what are the benefits of becoming a neutral person? he is too young for this

He's a boy. Call him "son." We live in insane times. Don't contribute.