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…but you are a kid yourself until you have your own. This is a perspective impossible to express to someone who does not have their own flesh and blood direct descendants.
The perspective shift that happens when you lay eyes on your child for the first time immediately after birth is completely unfathomable until it happens to you.
It is such a massive change that after that moment it really becomes almost impossible to relate to others who do not have kids, because they don’t get it. They can’t get it. And anyone childless reading this, I’m sure you disagree, because you yourself do not understand.
It’s like trying to explain the concept of color to a blind person.
…but you are a kid yourself until you have your own. This is a perspective impossible to express to someone who does not have their own flesh and blood direct descendants.
The perspective shift that happens when you lay eyes on your child for the first time immediately after birth is completely unfathomable until it happens to you.
It is such a massive change that after that moment it really becomes almost impossible to relate to others who do not have kids, because they don’t get it. They can’t get it. And anyone childless reading this, I’m sure you disagree, because you yourself do not understand.
It’s like trying to explain the concept of color to a blind person.
This is still working on the belief that we are all wired the same.....and we aren't. Further, that's a darn expensive way to prove one's theory that is incorrect.
It is like those that say of a gay man "Let him spend a night with Alessandra Corine Ambrósio; that will change him from liking men.".....and it is just simply not the case. He's not wired that way to respond that way.
As an "Enforcer", sure, I look at children and my programming calls to defend them. My programming calls for engage and stop those who would use infants in oral sex trafficking. I am not, however, horrified, for that programming has been countered over the years. I grew up, as most children did, with fathers who said, "If any man did that to my child, I would kill the bas*ard!" and while that did produce a conflict early on, it has since been programmed out.
If having a child means that one has in them to take the law in their own hands when their child is harmed, then to me, that is not being an adult.
This is still working on the belief that we are all wired the same.....and we aren't. Further, that's a darn expensive way to prove one's theory that is incorrect.
It is like those that say of a gay man "Let him spend a night with Alessandra Corine Ambrósio; that will change him from liking men.".....and it is just simply not the case. He's not wired that way to respond that way.
As an "Enforcer", sure, I look at children and my programming calls to defend them. My programming calls for engage and stop those who would use infants in oral sex trafficking. I am not, however, horrified, for that programming has been countered over the years. I grew up, as most children did, with fathers who said, "If any man did that to my child, I would kill the bas*ard!" and while that did produce a conflict early on, it has since been programmed out.
If having a child means that one has in them to take the law in their own hands when their child is harmed, then to me, that is not being an adult.
This proves the point of Post No. 3. If someone has harmed your child, you don't give a crap about something as petty as another person's opinion of what makes one an adult.
Hopefully we do not take the law into our own hands, but it would be pure biology to destroy a threat to one's offspring. You cannot understand it because what kicks in with parenthood is not in you. Again, #3.
This proves the point of Post No. 3. If someone has harmed your child, you don't give a crap about something as petty as another person's opinion of what makes one an adult.
Hopefully we do not take the law into our own hands, but it would be pure biology to destroy a threat to one's offspring. You cannot understand it because what kicks in with parenthood is not in you. Again, #3.
yea but what about the parents who harm their own children?
yea but what about the parents who harm their own children?
The women who let men abuse them?
That's a different subject.
Obviously, those people don't have that "thing", either. Either it's missing in them or they were abused themselves and are just passing down what they know. Equally obviously, I was talking about the majority of parents who fall within a mentally healthy range.
Their own background is not always the reason, though. I'm a true crime freak, and you always hear about these people who grew up loved and in a nice normal home who have some sort of glitch in their heads and then everyone is so surprised to find out what they really are.
Sometimes it's just a crapshoot. A good enough reason in and of itself to give one pause when thinking about procreating.
It is such a massive change that after that moment it really becomes almost impossible to relate to others who do not have kids, because they don’t get it. They can’t get it. And anyone childless reading this, I’m sure you disagree, because you yourself do not understand.
It’s like trying to explain the concept of color to a blind person.
Speak for yourself. Having my children was an absolute joy but that doesn’t mean I can’t relate to those who choose not to have children , however I don’t relate to people who choose to have children and then abuse them, ignore them, belittle them and act like they are cramping their style.
I fully expect my kids to have their own kids some day.
It's my business as they are my kids / my family.
It’s what you want, sure. Me too. It’s not up to you, though - that’s what I mean by not being your business. If your kids do not want or can’t have kids,you pressuring them to do so for YOU is not healthy or loving in my view.
I hope they want and end up having kids! I want grandkids so much… it will happen or it won’t. No way would I judge them either way. I’d be sad to not have grandkids.
Our adult kids aren’t obligated to base their lives on what a parent wants for herself above what they, as adults might want, if different.
My kids were my responsibility to raise to adulthood - they don’t “owe me” for doing my job parenting them. No adult kid should feel guilt or in debt for being raised. Yikes.
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
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BTW, another reason this might be such a 'sensitive' topic, is that 'parenting' also speaks directly to all our attitudes, expectations, and fears nowadays re: 'the Future', often decided according to folks' socio-economic class, 'identity politics', and edumacation. And in today's Global Information Economy, that's becoming a worldwide 'trend'.
I've always found babies to be "weird," and have never had any desire to have kids myself.
Personally, I find it odd, in this day and age, to be adamant about having children. The economics of it for most people are tight. The world is overpopulated. Climate change is real and worsening.
I've always found babies to be "weird," and have never had any desire to have kids myself.
Personally, I find it odd, in this day and age, to be adamant about having children. The economics of it for most people are tight. The world is overpopulated. Climate change is real and worsening.
I do think, for some people, there is an adamant desire to be a parent, to live in a family. Not part of a logical assessment of the situation. However, I think the majority of parents stumble into it by accident or carelessness or "that's just what you do."
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